The Labyrinth
by rationalramblings
Summary: Jacob has only ever wanted one thing-Bella.And he'll do anything to get her, even if it means creating a disaster in his wake. What he doesn't expect? His heart's desire to change, his plan to go askew, & a flood of trouble threatening to engulf them both
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: I decided to do a little revision on The Labyrinth, so these are the updated chapters. Not much is changed; there were just some parts that I didn't prefer. However, the majority of the story is left unchanged. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Ch. 1

Little White Lie

Jacob:

The truck rumbled to a halt in front of the house. I sat still, staring through the fading, hazy dusk light, contemplating. It was twilight; I really rather preferred this term to dusk or evening or nightfall. It seemed ominous, yet magical, which went perfect with my plan. I let an easy, sly smile creep across my face, but even under the mask of confidence, uncertainty lingered like a bad taste in my mouth. Smiling larger, I realized bad smell would be more appropriate in this situation. Was I strong enough to pull this one off? Could I inflict this pain on the one I loved? I had to; it was my last and only chance. Reaching over the seat, I grabbed the fancy-smancy envelope and picked up the beige leather jacket, rubbing the two together to get the full effect. Finally, I was ready.

The freshly fallen leaves crackled and rustled with the wind, but made no sound under my silent tread as I walked across the short path. Effortlessly and silently, I sprang up to the roof and peered inside the dark window. It was crucial I got the timing exactly right or else this would never work. As I had hoped, there was no movement coming from the small, cluttered bedroom. The best part was a _single_ lump covered by the old quilt. Everything how it should be. It was a go. I quickly pushed the stubborn window up and slid through the small opening, intent on my prize.

* * * * *

Bella:

I was running, from what I had no idea, but I could hear something or someone behind me. I kept expecting my feet to betray me and bring me down onto the soft ground below, but they moved in agile sync, propelling me forward. I was in La Push on the familiar beach, racing against the violent waves. Even though I knew it would be less difficult to run without the tide shoving and dragging me, I could not manage to pull myself away from its icy bite. And then suddenly, I recognized my surroundings. Abruptly I stopped, the frozen water swirling around my ankles, and stared ahead. I was at our tree. The large, dead one that Jake and I always went to. I expected the tears to come, but for some reason, I didn't feel sad. Quite the contrary, I was happy. I sensed that he was here, though I couldn't dismiss whether it was just my mind playing tricks on me. And then I heard it. The twig snapped directly behind me, and I froze, too scared to turn. Cold hands enveloped my waist, turning my motionless body to face him. I wasn't afraid anymore; I had a pretty good idea who it was. A smile lit up my face as I met his stare. It wasn't what I expected. His usually golden eyes were frantic, twitching back and forth over my calm face. His smooth forehead was replaced with tiny wrinkles of worry and anxiety, and he wore a frown.

"I'm so sorry, Bella! So very sorry . . . I tried. . . " His voice came out in a rushed whisper as he frantically searched my face. I cut him off.

"Edward, calm down. What are you talking about? Sorry for what?!" My heart stuttered to a stop as ice cold tentacles wound their way around it.

"Please listen, love. There's no time left. Remember, you're the only one I have ever loved, and I'll always love you no matter what." He looked deeply into my eyes, as though he was memorizing everything about me. "I'm so sorry. Victoria, she. . . " For the first time he was at a loss for words. "I don't even know where to begin with such limited time. I'm sorry, Bella love."

My mind scrambled. I tried to grasp what he was saying. Victoria? _Victoria?!_ She was dead! What was he talking about? Something was not right. I could sense it, taste it, smell it. _Smell . . ._ And then it hit me. Of course, the smell of incense was all too strong. My mind took me back to the fight in the field. The burning purple flames wafting into the sky, spreading the impossibly sweet aroma everywhere. It scorched my nose, stung my eyes, bringing tears that spilled over my lashes, though I wasn't sure if that was the main reason. Something indeed was not right. He bent quickly and kissed me. This kiss was nothing like anything I'd experienced before. The fervent need and longing was evident. But there was also something new in this kiss that he had never unleashed. Sorrow, anguish, regret . . . all of these blatant. And then he vanished from my arms. Only the smell of the strong incense lingered in my mouth, in my hair. The cold, misty wind blew across my face, and the smell only grew stronger, more tangible.

I awoke to the sound of soft scraping at my window, and I immediately knew what was happening. It wasn't Edward, for he had already left for the hunt with his brothers, and there was nobody else who would be dropping by at a time like this. Surely not Jacob—he was too angry with me still and probably miles away, moping in his wolf state—and definitely not Alice—she would be concentrating on last minute wedding preparations, to make the 'perfect fairytale wedding' yadda yadda—and Victoria was dead, so that left the unspeakable word. The Volturi. They had made it so blatant that they disapproved of our impending union. Obviously they had sent somebody to finish me off before I could say "until death do us part." _I told you so, Edward. _I knew this marriage thing was a bad idea from the start, but nooo, he had to have it his way_._ And now look where it got him . . . he'd be widowed before we even tied the stupid knot.

The sound grew louder as I realized that my window was being opened. Someone was definitely trying to get in, and they were succeeding too. That window was obstinate for anyone who didn't possess mythical strength. So someone was after me again. It would never stop. With frightened, wide eyes I glanced toward the window and saw the hulking figure looming just outside. And then he was there at my side, cradling me in his arms, the burning heat searing my flesh. Confusion and happiness filled me, and I longed to wrap my arms around him, forcing him to stay with me forever. I gripped his shoulders, pulled him closer against me, and kissed him softly on his hot cheek. But even through all my happiness, I felt and sensed something was not right, just like in my dream. Jacob had left filled with hurt and anger. And suddenly he was back here with me like nothing had ever happened. _Something_ had transpired; I knew it. Hastily, I pulled back, gazing into his eyes, searching to see what they held.

"Jacob," I whispered. "What's going on? What's wrong?!" He looked at me without saying anything, and there _was_ something in his dark eyes. Something I couldn't place my finger on.

"Bella, I . . . I'm sorry." He whispered into my ear, his warm breath tickling my skin.

"It's ok, Jacob. I understand why you had to leave. It's fine. I'm just glad you came back; I've missed you." I regretted that last part—I knew it would only hurt him— but my mind wasn't working well enough to stop before I muttered that last bit. I clung to the last shred of hope that I was overreacting, that all I sensed was just Jacob's happiness to see me, maybe worry that Edward might find him here and be angry. Maybe even sadness that he had left me for so long . . . but deep down inside I knew I was wrong. I was just trying to cling to some kind of hope.

"No, Bells, listen to me . . . please." His chocolate eyes pleaded with me, filling me with another round of worry. "You have to listen. I'm sorry I have to be the one to tell you this, but they wouldn't have it any other way. He requested it. . . " He paused, apprehension clouding his face. "Edward, he. . . " Another long, drawn out pause as he gathered what little courage he could to say what I was now dreading. My heart stopped just like in my dream as he spoke of Edward. My Edward.

"Edward? Jacob, what are you saying? Edward what?!!" I barely whispered. "The hunt tonight, it went terribly wrong. His blo . . . uhh, brothers tried, but they were too late. . . " His voice faltered. Before he could continue, I cut him off again.

"Jacob, spit it out!" My voice grew frantic and hysterical. I wasn't sure if this was another one of Jake's cruel jokes or if perhaps he could actually be telling me the truth, some dreadful fact that I didn't wish to know.

"I'm sorry, Bells . . . Edward, he . . . he's gone. He's dead." His voice broke at the end.

"What the hell, Jake?!! That's not funny! Why would you even joke like that?!!" I was angry now, fury emanating from my eyes.

"No, Bella, it's the truth. Victoria, the fight . . . it was all a ruse." His voice was barely a whisper now, but I could hear the horror.

"N-no, Jacob . . . I was there. I saw him t-t-tear her apart, burn every piece of her. Riley and the others, too. I don't know what you're trying to do, but—to think I actually missed you! Ugghhh . . . You're such a pain, Jacob." Though I wanted to kick him out of my room—preferably the second story window— I couldn't until I found out what he was up to with this mean joke of his. A very small part of me actually believed him, and that part was growing larger by the second. I could feel the lump in my throat; the rush of tears wouldn't be too far away. I could no longer contain my anger and anxiety. All of these mixed emotions were leading to a breakdown. I knew my father was bound to wake up any second now with our growing hysterics.

"Bella, that wasn't Victoria. She had all of us fooled. Never . . . Never would I have guessed her true plan. That deceiving, cunning leech . . . She devised the perfect plan, irrefutably flawless. She would be watching from the side lines as her army, led by her sister, fought the Cullens. She wouldn't even have to execute her own scheme." A bitter, slight smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. His eyes bored into mine, detecting the confusion evident in my bewildered expression. "You don't understand me, do you?"—It was more a statement than a question—"Identical sisters. . ." He paused, hoping I would catch on, but my brain refused to work. Momentarily idle, like my lungs and my heart. "She's a twin, Bella." He stopped, letting this piece of information sink in. "She just never expected her to be defeated by your bloodsucker. Not that that even upset her . . . a little sacrifice for the ultimate prize."—Another hint of a smile—"And then tonight, they thought everything was fine. There was nothing to suspect . . . nothing to worry about, what with the assumed Victoria dead, but she came out of nowhere, attacked him . . . He's gone, Bells. I'm so sorry. I know this is hard to believe, but you have to understand. I would never wish for this to happen. I love you . . . I don't want to cause you pain." He slowly leaned forward and lightly brushed his lips across my forehead. The sincerity in his voice, in his manner, was unmistakable.

Slowly, I realized why she had seemed so different that day in the field because it hadn't been her. The innocent, childlike voice that had seemed so strange to me coming from her wild face made sense now. It wasn't _her_ voice. It wasn't the voice I expected because it wasn't Victoria. So she had won after all.

"No, Jacob . . . Can't be true. You're lying. . ." I mouthed the words, cringing to myself. My head was spinning, and I could already feel the bile rising in my throat.

"It's the truth, honestly, Bella . . . Look, you can't stay here anymore; it's not safe. With her back, she's gonna be after you again . . . Carlisle, he wants me to take you away. And, well, I agree . . . We have to leave tonight. . ." He sighed.

"Here, they wanted me to be the one to give this to you. I'm sorry, Bella, honey." He set an expensive looking envelope on my knee, and I recognized the stationary Alice had picked out for the wedding. Although I had refused to be part of the wedding planning—that gene must have skipped me, the one that predisposes women to actually enjoy decorating, shopping, and other girly crap—I knew that stationary all too well. The vile paper had been lying strewn across my jumbled floor for weeks now. Apparently, I was expected—and demanded of—to write thank-you letters for every gift received. Like I had asked for them. I had grown embittered towards the elegant paper due to the amount of gifts that had suddenly accumulated. And they, mainly Alice, expected me to write every single letter within a deadline of three weeks. Procrastination was always my strong suit. However, despite our sour relationship, I fondly stroked the smooth envelope, lingering over the smudged ink. On the front, Edward's elegant cursive spelled out my name, but it wasn't my name. It _would_ have been my name . . . tomorrow after the ceremony. My blurry eyes came to rest on the beautifully scrawled _Isabella Cullen_.

"Edward. . ." I murmured faintly, hearing his name drawn out with my sad sigh.

"He left it for you. He was going to give it to you . . . on your wedding night. . ." Jacob trailed off, and I could see faint disgust in his eyes, though it seemed like he was trying to hide it for my sake.

I flipped the envelope over, tearing through it to get to his words as the stinging tears began to fall freely now. It smelled of my Edward, the sweet incense filling my nose and mouth. I pulled away from the comforting warmth of Jacob's embrace and stumbled over to the open window. The silvery moonlight filtered in through the fluttering curtains, illuminating the ivory paper clutched in my rigid hands.

_My only Love,_

_Well, by now you are my wife, and you haven't any idea how thrilled I am. I know how reluctant you were to enter this sort of commitment, but I promise that you shall not regret it. I love you, and I just want to stake my claim on you. Bella, my love, you belong to me as I do you. The first moment I realized I could not live without you, that I had fallen in love with the prey, which is utterly inexcusable for our type, was that day in the parking lot at school. In that split second, my life flashed before my eyes, one without you present, and I knew. My life would never be the same without you; I had to have you, had to be with you. My mind and my heart warred against each other, and finally my heart gave in. My body had a mind of its own, and then you were in my arms, safe from harm's way. In that moment while I stared into your eyes, I fell for you, the hardest any man in history has ever fallen. You have given me the strength, the will, the desire to live. So I have a purpose after all. It appears I do have a soul. Thank you, love, for making these last few years meaningful._

_Now, I know you will fight me for this, but it has to be said. Bella love, if anything should ever happen to me, I request (and this is my last request, note) that you move on, continue to be happy, and there's only one person you can do that with other than me. Jacob Black. Please, Bella love, I have seen how much it hurts you, how torn you are between the two of us. If, God forbid, something happened to me, I have asked of your Jacob to care for you. It was quite simple; I knew the lovesick pup would not oppose. He loves you, Bella. And if I cannot be there to love and cherish you, then my only wish is that you are cared for by someone I know truly loves you. Please take him without a fight, Love. I couldn't bear to have him know anymore pain because of me. Having been on the receiving end, I know it is not pleasant. If he truly loves you (and he does), then I will concede, only for your happiness. _

_I love you. I love you. I love you._

_Your rapturous husband,_

_Edward._

_Still charitable even now._ My legs grew weak under my weight just as I sensed the floor suddenly rushing towards me. Before I could feel the impact, I was being lifted and carried back to my bed. I let the tears fall, making a futile attempt to hide them, and buried my head in Jacob's burning chest. He received the full brunt of it though, as his bare chest was quickly becoming soaked, but he didn't seem to take notice. Just as I knew he would, he wrapped his arms around me, comforting me even as I cried for another man. I knew he would only because he had won finally, so he would be tolerant.

There were so many questions I had swirling in my mind, but my mouth couldn't form the correct words. It opened and closed rhythmically with no sound emitted. _Why hadn't the Cullens told me? Alice? Where was she? She wouldn't have left me in this time of need. And why had they sent Jacob? How had they found him? The pack hadn't even been able to convince him to return home, so how had the Cullens managed? _I still didn't understand fully what had happened; the words he had spoken just a few minutes ago didn't seem real. _It couldn't be. My life couldn't be falling apart. Edward . . . He was invincible. This just couldn't be._ My body felt foreign, like a detached appendage.Somewhere in my mind, I could feel it shutting down, repressing my horrible emotions—so many various kinds—before they could tear my heart completely to slivers.

"Don't you see, Bella? We can be together now. I love you so much. I would do absolutely anything. . ." Jacob murmured against my lips as I drifted away into unconsciousness. His husky voice became a blur along with the rest of the night's events. The memories were already tucking themselves away in some forgotten pocket in the depths of my mind, lost indefinitely.

*****

Jacob:

It had worked . . . I had pulled it off . . .

I hadn't actually thought she would believe me; I figured she would demand to speak to the Cullens, which would obviously ruin my whole plan. I hadn't really prepared for that, so I was glad she had passed out in my arms when she did. That would give me enough time to move ahead with the rest of our plans._ Our plans . . . _I smiled. I was pretty devious, but I had to be nowadays. She would thank me after awhile . . . once she realized that I had saved her from making a terrible mistake . . . once she grasped that I was _the one_. And she, mine.

It had worked out perfectly, better than I expected. Actually, Bella had helped out more than she knew. I had gotten the stationary from her room—I think some sort of wedding stationary?— a jacket of Edward's off her cluttered floor, and a sample of his handwriting . . . put it all together, and it's a recipe for a bloodsucker. I had the smell exactly right, his flawless handwriting spot on, and voila, she had believed me one hundred percent. Now, to put part two of my plan in action. I had to whisk her away without Edward suspecting anything, just before the big day tomorrow. I knew he wouldn't be coming around tonight; it was against Alice's old-fashioned rules. 'Cannot see the bride before the big day' . . . blah blah blah. Whatever. But it worked out great for me, since I wouldn't have to worry about him stalking her. And with the unaware Alice, who thankfully couldn't see werewolves in her visions, he would never imagine this could possibly be happening.

With the utmost care, I released Bella's clenched hands from around my neck, laying her back down on the bed. She looked peaceful now after her sobbing fit. Her thick, dark eyelashes were drenched, and her pale skin was tear-streaked. Just as I was reaching down to wipe a lone tear away, I heard the bedroom door creak. Worriedly, my eyes darted towards the now open door. A pajama-clad Charlie stood in the small hallway, his hand still resting on the doorknob, eyes staring intently at Bella's unmoving form. Then they flickered to me, and he motioned for me to follow him.

"Come with me, son. We need to talk." His hushed whisper sounded stern, and for a moment, I was frightened of Charlie. Without another glance at Bella, I silently stood and followed his retreating figure down the stairs.

When I reached the kitchen, he was sitting stiffly at the table, staring absently out the window. Warily, I sat across from him, waiting for the impending lecture. I tried to come up with some excuse as to why I was in his daughter's bedroom the night before her wedding. I came up blank. His weary eyes shifted toward me, and I suddenly noticed how old he was beginning to look. It had been a trying year for him, definitely adding some wrinkles to his worn face.

"Poor kid. . . I knew this would happen. How's she handling it? Agghhh, never mind. . .rhetorical question. I know how she's doing. It's that bad, huh?"

"Um, y-you did? Uh, okay. Yeah, she's not doing that good. She's hurting pretty bad." I had absolutely no idea what I was referring to . . . or what he was referring to. It was possible he had heard everything I had said, and if so, my whole plan was in shambles. If he thought Edward really was dead, being the sheriff of Forks would come in handy. It would only be a matter of time before he learned that his future son-in-law was in actuality alive—figuratively speaking—and well. And then I would have some major explaining to do. The prospect of having to deal with that worried me even more, and I could feel a bead of sweat swiftly slide down my back. Having this increased internal body temperature was not such a good thing, especially at a time like this. _Damn the Quileute legends . . ._

"Yeah, I bet she's beating herself up. Always was a martyr. Look, I'm not quite sure what to say, but . . . I think of you as a son, Jake. You're a good man. And you're good to my Bella; I see how you would be perfect for her. It's just difficult . . . complicated. Seems like that's how it always is for Bells." He smirked, rubbing his forehead and leaning back in his chair. "But then there's Edward . . . who I've only now just begun to warm to, partly because I'm forced . . . But he's good to her also. I know he loves her and deeply regrets all the pain he caused her in the past. I see that. I'm more aware than she thinks I am . . . I'm torn between the two of you. I just want Bella to be happy; whichever path she decides to take, I'll be there for her . . ."

"Er, thanks Charlie . . . You're like family to me too." I was uncomfortable. He wasn't giving anything away, no clues or hints as to what he was talking about. _What path is he meaning?_

"Thanks for coming back, Jake . . . Although, you should really consider using the front door. The key's where it has always been. I have no idea how you and Edward manage to crawl through that stubborn window of hers. Some things never change no matter the generation." He chuckled lightly to himself as I cringed—the things parents were able to find out. And we had thought we were being sneaky. "Man . . . I just never thought she'd get cold feet the night before her wedding. Gotta be hard . . ." He mumbled more to himself than to me, lost in thought. My head jerked up, eyes widening considerably.

"_Cold feet_. . .?" My voice was no longer a subdued whisper.

"Yeah, she's got cold feet, right? I mean, why else would she be sobbing like that. Haven't seen that kind of behavior since . . . well, since Edward left. And we all know that isn't happening anytime soon . . . Obviously, she's finally realized she loves you, Jake. It was hard on her when you left, but it must've opened her eyes to the truth. Everyone saw it; Billy and me, we were just hoping the realization would come _after_ the wedding. She'd be safely married, and both of you could just move on. But clearly, fate—or whatever you wanna call it—stepped in. She's torn between two loves and doesn't know which to pick . . . which to ultimately hurt. I wish I could help her more, but this isn't my area of expertise, not in the least bit." He sighed and looked up at me.

"Oh . . . uh, right. Cold feet, yeah. Um, Charlie . . . what if she's already made her choice . . . I mean, uh, what if she did choose me?" I paused, deliberating where I was going with this. His forehead creased slightly, but his eyes stayed glued to mine. "Uh, Charlie? She . . . well, she chose me. Said she thought about it long and hard, but she just isn't ready for the whole marriage thing . . . Thought she could handle it in theory, but she realized that wasn't her. Said she didn't want to end up like Renee—sorry, I don't mean to hurt you Charlie. I think you deserve to know what exactly is going on with her. And that's what she said, word for word . . . The verdict—she wants to be with me. Charlie . . . she doesn't want to stay here right now. She's so confused and angry with herself . . . She said she needs a break, a vacation to get away from all the stress surrounding her life here. If you don't let her go, she's just going to leave on her own, and I don't think she needs to be alone, not now. . . You saw her emotional state up there—she had just passed out before you came in. I really think it'd be good for her, to take a little break, get away from town for awhile, especially with the wedding getting canceled . . . everyone will be talking, you know she'll lose it. I'm going to take her somewhere . . . We can leave early in the morning before all the drama starts. I think this is best Charlie. I love her, I do. . . " I hoped my tone and expression were sincere. If it had worked with Bella, it had to work with her father. Hopefully.

Silence.

"Um, Charlie. . . Were you listening?" I tilted my head to peer at his face, which was now angled downward, his eyes staring listlessly at the old wooden table. Slowly, he lifted his face to peer at me.

"I'm not sure what to think right now. . . hmm, well, I can see she's an emotional wreck, but leaving? I don't know, I don't know. . . maybe. Perhaps it would be good . . . Uh, yeah. I think I agree with you. This place is going to be pretty unfriendly with all the small-town gossip. You're right. . . She needs a break. Alright, I'll let you take her, Jake 'cause she sure as hell won't be able to face the Cullens, not after this. . . Probably best to leave as early as possible to avoid confrontation. I'll talk to them myself, explain everything." More worry lines creased his forehead.

"Thanks. I really think this will work out fine. She'll be fine. We all will. I'll be over here at 7:00. . . That should be early enough. Make sure she gets packed? And Charlie, don't bring this up with her, okay? Please don't even mention the wedding or Edward. . . none of it. It'll only upset her."

"Yeah sure. . . won't mention it. Alright Jake, get on home and get some sleep. . . and use the front door if you don't mind." He stood stiffly and followed me to the door, waving goodbye as I climbed in my car.

I was successful. My plan had worked even on her father. I couldn't believe my improvisation in there. _This will work, and we'll finally be together._ I started the engine and drove home in a peaceful, contented state. Nothing could ruin this for me now.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch.2

Mind Games

Jacob:

I stuffed the wad of money in one of my socks, shoving it inside the bag. I had been saving it for a rainy day, and my storm had finally come. There was enough to start our new life somewhere far away. I was almost packed . . . I just needed one more thing. Naturally, it would be lost. _Figures_. Quickly, I stood to my feet, kicking at the dresser drawers that were all open halfway and strode purposely out of my room. I had tried to avoid my father the previous night after getting home so late, but I knew he could sense that something was wrong. He was sitting in his wheelchair in the small living room, eyes staring toward the blaring t.v. though he wasn't actually paying attention. As I stepped around the corner of the hallway, I saw he was not alone. The pack was all there too. _Damn, it's an ambush. _Doing my best to ignore them, I kept walking, but Sam's massive figure stood in my way.

"Don't do this, Jake. It's not right." His voice was hard, but laced with compassion. The bond that linked the pack together allowed us to identify with the others' emotions. He couldn't blame me for what I was doing. He knew the pain I was constantly living with.

"Save it, Sam. There's no turning back now. If I can't have her . . . well, that's just not an option. . . " I pushed past him, making an effort to glare at each individual pack member. My scorching gaze loitered on Leah, who had her usual sardonic smile plastered on her face. I really hated her. "What the hell are you smiling about, Leah?" I shifted my anger from Sam to her instantaneously.

"Oh, nothing . . . Just thinking about how you're screwing up your life. Isn't it enough that you're ruining things for them, do you really need to bring _us_ into this also? So selfish. Open your eyes, Jacob . . . She doesn't want you. No one does." She sneered.

"Shut up, Leah. Has it ever occurred to you that _you_ are the one nobody wants because you're so damn cynical? You're so bitter. Always rehashing your old pain and hurt . . . Pity me . . . Yes, we do pity you, Leah. Because you can't just move on, get over it. So he broke your heart, but it wasn't because he _chose_ to! You're so pathetic. Open _your_ eyes! It's lost you everyone!" There was absolute silence other than a single gasp. I hadn't realized I was shouting until I felt a large, firm hand tugging on my shoulder. Sam pulled me back several steps, revealing just how close I had gotten to Leah's face. I felt a slicing pain in both my hands, and I unclenched them, noticing the blood and superficial cuts that were already healing. I had gone too far, but she had asked for it. My vision became focused again, and I could see her shocked expression, the tears that were accruing in her eyes. _Good. I had hurt her. _

"That's enough, Jake! Leah, wait for us outside. . ." He waited while Seth pulled Leah out the door and then shoved me down onto the couch. "As a separate individual, this is none of our business, but when you involve the pack, it _becomes_ our business. Jacob, what you're doing is wrong. You're causing trouble for the Cullens, and they've done nothing to warrant it. Stop messing with others' hearts. You know you're going to imprint on somebody, and it's just going to be me all over again . . . breaking some poor girl's heart. Please, Jake." The anguish was unmistakable. By trying to hurt Leah, I had also resurfaced his old wounds.

"Thanks for your concern, but I've got somewhere I need to be." I stood up, squaring my shoulders and glowered at him. Neither of us relented for a minute, and then realizing he had lost, his head dropped. I quickly brushed past him, heading to my father's bedroom. No one stopped me this time; the pack stood silently interspersed throughout the room. They all knew they couldn't stop me. My mind was set.

I looked around the tiny room, wondering where it might be. My eyes stopped on the old chest at the foot of the bed. I lifted the lid slowly, the concentrated smell of cedar filling my nostrils. Rummaging through its contents, I finally found it. Her jewelry box. It still held all her priceless pieces—diamonds and stones of all sizes—but those weren't the ones I desired. I moved a delicate silver chain and locket aside and there it was. I picked the ring up and examined it. It was perfect for Bella. The design—a 1.5 carat, pear shaped diamond, encircled by tiny round diamonds—was simple, but elegant and beautiful, just like her. I knew this day would come. My mom had promised the ring would be mine to give to the girl of my dreams. And Bella was the one.

I stuffed the ring in my pocket and went to gather my duffel bag. When I emerged from the hallway the second time, everyone was gone except my dad. Billy rolled his chair alongside me, not saying a word until I reached the car. I threw my bag in the back seat and turned to him.

"Dad. . ."

"I'm not going to get into it with you, son, but I hope you know what you're doing."

"Okay, then don't . . . I'll miss you. I'm not sure how long I'll be gone, but . . . I'll call. Love you, old man." And then I was in my car, speeding down the muddy driveway.

*****

Bella:

I had gotten up extra early this morning. I'd seen no point just lying in bed. After a night filled with horrible, strange dreams, I hadn't slept well. Charlie had knocked on my door at 6:30 to inform me that I needed to pack for a trip Jacob was taking me on. I couldn't recall much about this said trip, other than Jake mentioning something about taking me away and not staying here. For some reason, my memory was a bit blurry. I assumed it was just one of Jake's many sly surprises since I couldn't recollect any other details. And while that seemed strange at first, I realized that I'd had a lot on my mind for weeks, so a little fuzziness in the memory department had to be pretty normal.

I had just finished stuffing an assortment of clothes in a bag, when I heard the doorbell ring. I glanced at the clock on my bedside table; the bright green numbers read 7:03. It was time to leave. I could hear Charlie and Jake's faint mumbles downstairs as I grabbed my bag. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, Charlie was inconspicuously handing Jacob something. From my view, it looked vaguely like folded money, which seemed odd. But whatever it was, he shoved it in his pocket and took my bag from my hands, hoisting it over his shoulder. Charlie stood awkwardly by the door, probably debating whether an outward display of affection was in order.

"Bye Dad. You'll be okay without my culinary skills?" I smiled as I gave him a hug anyway. I wasn't expecting the bear hug he pulled me into. So unlike Charlie.

"Ah hush, Bells. I'll be fine. You two take care. . . And call me! I want to hear about this trip." He pulled back, looking in my eyes, his hands still gripping my upper arms. "And Bells. . .? You'll be okay. I love you."

I snorted. "Dad, it's just a little trip. I'll be fine. Love you too." I glanced back and forth between Jake and him, confused and slightly worried about Charlie's peculiar behavior. He released me, and Jacob placed his warm hand on the small of my back, guiding me past the front door.

"See ya, Charlie." He waved as we climbed in his car.

"Well that was weird. . ." I muttered.

"Huh. . . yep, but Charlie always is." He grinned at me, squeezing my knee.

"No. . . but that was just _really_ strange. What was he talking about. . . I'll be okay? I mean, I know I'm accident prone, but seriously, how much trouble can I get in on vacation? But anyway, where are we going on our little road trip? Hey, did Charlie have someone else at the house?" I asked, puzzled.

"Um, no. . .why?"

"That black car parked on the street. Looked kinda expensive. . .but then again, I don't know cars. Maybe it's just one of the neighbors?"

He stared at the black Mercedes parked outside my house, his lip curling up slightly. He pressed his foot harder on the pedal, and the car shot farther down the road, leaving the curious car behind.

"You don't recognize that car?" His wide eyes flickered to mine.

"No. . . Why would I?" Why was everyone acting so weird today?

"It's yours, Bella. He bought it for you. . ." His voice trailed off. If I wasn't mistaken, it seemed like he was trying to make his voice sound sad.

"Right, like I would ever want some fancy car like that. Very funny, Jake. Seriously though, I love my old truck. I'd never get rid of it." I laughed. "And who is this '_he_'? Hmm? Other than you and Charlie, there are no other men in my life. Some joke. . ." I was still chuckling quietly.

"Look, Bells. I know it's hard for you, but trying to pretend like it never happened isn't going to help. Dealing with your pain is the only way to get over something like that." He paused and then looked at me, his eyes completely sincere. "I really am sorry about Edward."

"Who's Edward?" I asked curiously, all traces of laughter gone.

"_Who's Edward?_" Jacob's eyes darted to mine, his eyebrows furrowed. "Bella, c'mon now. Stop with the games. I know you're hurting, but—"

"Hurting? Why would I be hurting?" I was beyond confused now. "I'm perfectly fine."

"Okay, fine. If you want to pretend like the bloodsucker never existed, then that's cool with me. Two can play this game. I never liked the vampire anyway. You're better off without him."

I laughed. "Vampires? Did you stay up late watching some ridiculous sci-fi movie?"

He snorted and frowned at me. "Who needs t.v. when you live in Forks? You can witness the real live stuff by just stepping right outside your door. Let me know if you find another town where you can be neighbors with a pack of werewolves _and_ a coven of vampires."

"You are so strange, Jake. Nobody seriously believes in that stuff."

He stared at me. "Oh, so now you don't?" he asked dramatically, emphasizing his words in a sarcastic tone. "Knock it off, Bells. I get the point—you don't want to think about Edward."

"Okay, you have to tell me who this Edward is. . ."

He turned to stare at me, his eyes boring into mine. For a full minute he didn't speak. He seemed to be searching for something, though I didn't know what. With a heavy sigh, he diverted his eyes back to the road, leaving me more confused than I thought possible.

"Long Beach," he finally said after the tension in the small car was escalating steadily.

"What?"

"That's where we're going to stay. My aunt has a little inn she runs down there on the coast. It's nice; you'll like it."

"Your aunt? I didn't know Billy had a sister."

"Uh, no . . . on my mom's side. She was the oldest."

"Oh," I mumbled, suddenly feeling bad for bringing the topic up. I didn't exactly know how he felt about it. But he dispelled my worries by giving me one of his signature grins.

"It's okay, Bells. It happened a long time ago. You don't have to say anything."

I nodded slowly, looking at him out of the corner of my eye. The truth was I didn't know what to say or what would be appropriate. I wasn't good with emotions. I was still thinking to myself when he went on.

"Anyway, I think you'll like my aunt. She's been like a second mother to me. And you'll get to meet Walker." The way he said it made me wonder.

"Who's that?"

"My cousin," he said in a rush of air. He gave me a look that said 'you'll see.'

"So how long is this vacation?" I asked, redirecting the conversation.

He gave me a smile and squeezed my hand, and my heart got a little off track. "As long as you like. This vacation is about what _you_ want to do, Bells."

I smiled. This was going to be a good trip. A sudden yawn surprised me; I had forgotten just how tired I really was. After a night of tossing and turning, I was exhausted. For a few minutes I strained to keep my drooping eyelids open, at least to give Jacob company, but sleep quickly won over. I settled back into the seat, leaning my head against the cool window, and it wasn't long before the steady drone of the engine put me to sleep.

Jacob:

Her breathing grew quiet and even, and I knew she had fallen asleep. It was entirely my fault for her exhaustion; obviously my stunt last night hadn't _improved_ her sleep. Oh well, she'd make it up once we got to the inn. My mind wandered over our recent conversation. _What was going on here? _Bella liked to joke around—though she wasn't very good at it—but she never carried them out to this extent. She really seemed almost serious. . . like she didn't honestly know what I was talking about. The car, mythical creatures. . . _Edward_. . . The tone of her voice had sounded so sincere. Her expression had been incredulous. . . Her voice, skeptical, mocking even.

I tried to think back a year ago, to when I had taken some psychology class in school. It was hard to recall much; I'd been so distracted with the lack of sleep—due to patrolling—all the werewolf/vampire drama, and the cute new girl who sat right in front of me—nowhere near as breathtaking as Bella though. But I did vaguely remember a lecture about defense mechanisms. It was all coming back to me now, slowly but surely. The class laughing hysterically, 'diagnosing' other students—Will was bipolar while Raine had OCD—calling each other 'crazy' and 'psycho'. . . Despite the madness, I specifically recalled my teacher talking about how when we're faced with something that's too difficult to deal with, sometimes our minds will repress it, bury anything having to do with the situation. It's a defense mechanism because it reduces the anxiety by distorting reality_. _Was that the case with Bella? Was her mind defending her sanity . . . burying memories of Edward and everything related?I remembered how hard it had been just when he had left—she refused to speak his name—but if she thought he was dead, then it was definitely possible she was repressing his memory. She wouldn't have wanted to face the awful truth. . . that her fiancé was gone forever. Everything and anything connected with the Cullens would have gone right down the drain with her other memories. To her, I was just some normal teenage boy . . . not a kid forced into the 'family trade' of shapeshifting. She wouldn't remember anything about me. It would be like starting over. It all made sense. And while some things became clear, others only got more confusing.

What did she think she had been doing since her arrival in Forks two years ago? If two whole years of memories were wiped away, what had she replaced them with? Had she created her own safe reality in exchange for her scarred one? I wasn't sure what to say around her now, what she would understand and what she'd dismiss as my vivid imagination. But I knew one thing . . . I had to keep anything that might evoke memories of _him_ away from her.


	3. Chapter 3

Ch. 3

Truth Hurts

Edward:

I could see it all playing out like a movie. A movie meant only for me, since I was the only one who could be a witness to her thoughts. I was a parasite in reality, just as I was a parasite in her mind, absorbing her most private and personal thoughts. This was different though. I deserved to watch, to know what exactly was occurring. I would have accompanied her, to see for myself, but she had argued her point well.

_"Edward, what if I'm wrong? You know sometimes these things happen . . . My visions can be hazy; it's happened before, and everything was just fine. Maybe I'm overreacting, but I just want to go check on her. Just because I cannot see her future anymore doesn't mean she has necessarily changed her mind about marrying you. Bella wouldn't go back on her word . . . not to you, and definitely not to me. She knows how much this wedding means to me, and she knows I'd kill her if she abandoned it…I mean you. Look, just stay here, let me run over to her place, make sure everything's fine, and then I'll bring her back here to start her transformation into your beautiful, blushing bride." Alice's reassuring words weren't the least bit helpful. _The minute she had left, I had taken to pacing across the living room, which had done nothing to alleviate my stress.

But I had conceded. While she took her precious time—she had driven her Porsche, opting for the more human route—I was treading a hole through the mahogany wood floors and wracking my brain for possible reasons why Bella's future was suddenly opaque.

"I don't think Esme's going to be too happy with the state of her hardwood after you're through. Come on, Edward . . . You're needed out back. Esme's going to put you to work. There's still some decorations that require your height in order to be hung." Rosalie had caught me unaware, startled even, which was a first for me.

"Must I at this very moment? Can't you see I'm busy?" My voice revealed my irritation. Rosalie was constantly a nuisance to me.

"Yeah, um, I think the floor can wait. You need to take your mind off of Alice's. You'll get your fairy tale ending, Edward, just be patient."—she sneered—"Now come on." She grabbed my hand, not bothering for my rebuttal and whisked me outside. She was inquiring about my preference for something wedding related—the colors of the flower arrangements—but I tried to tune her out. Her triviality was exasperating. I had more important things to concentrate on besides the difference between two seemingly identical shades of pink. Nonetheless, within minutes she and Esme had me stringing lights, another pointless task. Although it engaged my body, it didn't employ my mind. I was still using Alice as my eyes.

The trees were flying past as she sped down the road, taking the sharp curves with skilled ease. Gauging by the background's blur and her sense of satisfaction, her speedometer was probably hitting close to a hundred miles an hour, if not more. I could feel the gentle vibrations of the engine as if _I_ was in the driver's seat instead. The Porsche hesitantly slowed, and I could see the row of quaint houses emerging out of the forest. She came to a smooth halt behind the sleek Mercedes that was serving as Bella's armor until after her _change_. It hadn't moved since yesterday, so that was a good sign.

Alice lithely removed herself from the car and darted up toward the front door. She wasn't being as careful as she should have been. She was probably just as worried as I was, but she was shielding her true thoughts from me. Always so clever. She impatiently knocked on the door, annoyed she couldn't just walk right in or climb through the window, but that kind of behavior would alert Charlie. Her thoughts flickered to the weather momentarily, hoping it wouldn't betray _her_ wedding. I smiled to myself. Alice would be Alice. She didn't have to wait long, however, as Charlie abruptly opened the door, a strange look on his face. I could hear the apprehension in his tone as he invited Alice in, his usual warm, friendly demeanor absent. An uneasiness settled in the pit of my stomach. Charlie never acted this awkward around Alice. My hands stopped their chore without ever registering the action in my head as I focused on the conversation she was having.

_"I need to talk to you, Alice. . ." Charlie had led the way into the kitchen and was propped against the counter._

_"Um, where's Bella?" Her eyes flashed toward the doorway, trying to peer around to the staircase. I could feel her anxiety. . . Coupled with mine, it was close to unbearable. She sensed that something was amiss, too. _

_"That's what I have to talk to you about." He paused, shifting his weight nervously. "I'll just get right to the point. Bella's not here." He wouldn't meet her piercing stare._

_"What do you _mean_ she's not here? She's _gone_?" Alice had jumped to her feet, itching to run up to Bella's room and see for herself._

_"No, she's not here. She's with Jacob." Realization hit us both hard. Why hadn't we thought about _that_ possibility? Werewolves interfered with her visions. Of course. But that was nothing to worry about. So Jacob had come back. . . No big deal. They were best friends after all, despite my objections. Inseparable even after his long departure. I could feel Alice relax, her hardened muscles gradually loosening. _

_"Okay, well, do you know when she'll be back? There's still so much to do before tonight." _

_"She's not coming back, Alice. At least not for awhile. She needed a break, some time to think." Charlie's voice was hesitant, soft. I could tell he didn't enjoy having this conversation. _

_"What are you _saying_, Charlie? Don't beat around the bush. . ." Alice grew wary again, and the uneasiness in my stomach exploded, sending tiny shivers through my body._

_"She's had a change of heart," he explained sheepishly, spreading his palms out in front of him. It was a defensive gesture. Alice's intensity was scaring even the stoic Charlie." She feels like she's rushing into it too soon. . . like her mother did." His voice was barely audible and tinged with an incredible sadness. I pictured him shutting the door and retreating to his living room to deal with his pain, but he went on. "I'll pay you back for all the wedding expenses. . . I really am sorry. . ."_

_Alice was a dangerous mixture of surprise, confusion, disbelief, and anger. "What did Jacob do?!" she spat at him, and I saw Charlie shrink back. "I know he had a hand in this."_

_Charlie wiped a hand over his face. "I can't bear to tell him, Alice."_

_That was all he said, and in a second it registered. He hadn't admitted it, but he hadn't denied it either. I felt physically sick, something that had been absent in my life for a century._

The movie had been paused. The scene didn't waver in the least bit. Alice was in shock and so was I. If I still had my human body with all its human organs, I could testify as to what a heart attack truly felt like . . . But I wasn't human. And I couldn't die. I was still immortal, and insignificant things like that couldn't touch me. I would be forced to live in this hell all by _myself._

In an instant I was changed. It was like black and white from my former self to this. I couldn't believe that I had been so willing to give Bella up to Jacob if that had been her wish. In speculation the thought had seemed not easy, not bearable, but maybe manageable. . . only because the hypothetical Bella had desired Jacob over me, and I longed for her happiness. But when faced with reality, the thought was unforgiveable, inconceivable, unreasonable. There was no way that I was just giving her up that easily. No, I would fight for her until I knew for a fact that she no longer wanted me, that she yearned for only _him._ And, if that _was_ the case, then and only then would I back down. But I would have someone else in my sights. . . the Volturi . . . because I couldn't live, no, I couldn't exist in a world without_ her_.

*****

"Jake, this place is absolutely beautiful." I was in awe. The vast Victorian home sprawled across the rocky hilltop, overlooking the rolling indigo waves. My eyes roamed over the large expanse of the structure and fixed on the guest cottage some distance away, nestled against the trees. It had a stone pathway leading up to white French doors and a small swing hanging idly from the nearest tree. A picturesque scene.

"C'mon, I want to show you something." Jacob grinned, taking my elbow gently. He led the way through the trees a short distance, dragging me behind him in his excitement.

"Ughh, what's the awful smell?" I wrinkled my nose in disgust as we came to a halt in front of a large building with fences framing it. He ignored me, walked over to the fence, and whistled sharply. A large, black horse trotted up, his nostrils flaring; he arched his neck and neighed as Jacob reached to rub his nose. I cautiously stepped forward, trying to get a better look at the beautiful animal.

"Hey there, boy." Jake was already sliding through the gap in the boards, running his hands along the horse's glossy back. I, however, was not going anywhere near that thing. "This is Taboo. Technically, he doesn't belong to me, but I'm the only one who's ever been able to ride him, so Aunt Mae just calls him mine." He grinned back at me triumphantly.

I studied the horse, whose front hooves were pawing anxiously at the ground. His ears were twitching back and forth, and his eyes roaming across the expanse behind me. "He looks . . . dangerous."

Jacob chuckled and patted the horse's tensed neck. "Nah, he's not that bad. For me at least. He's a good horse, just a little spirited," he added, staring in the same direction as Taboo. "I think he smells an animal or something. Horses can sense danger before humans, you know."

Just then, the wind stirred violently, and Taboo's ears shot directly forward. For only a second he was frozen in place, and then they jerked backwards, pinned against his neck, just as Jake lunged for the fence. He was out of the way half a second before the horse reared up, kicking at the space that Jake's body had previously occupied. I let out a gasp and stumbled backwards, tripping over my two left feet. There was nothing to break my fall; I landed in the dirt, thankful it wasn't too muddy. Jake—breathless and in a fit of laughter—scrambled over the boards, running to my side a moment too late. He helped me back to my treacherous feet, and I dusted myself off. At least there was no blood.

"Yeah, did I mention that he tends to do that a lot? I'm used to it though. No cuts or bruises. See?" He held up his tanned arms for my inspection.

"You almost got decapitated, and it's no big deal?" I was amazed at his carefree demeanor. How could he remain so calm after his own pet had tried to kill him?

He slung his arm around my shoulder and started to lead me away from the crazed horse. "Well, it helps that I've got the speed of mythical creatures to my advantage. . ." He broke off suddenly and cleared his throat. When I gave him a strange look, he chuckled self-consciously. "Only joking, Bells."

"There you go again . . . Spouting off about your sci-fi characters." I laughed and playfully punched his shoulder.

"Um, yeah . . . I guess I've been spending too much time with the guys. . ." He mumbled so quickly, I could barely discern the words.

"I'll say so," I mumbled back. I twisted to take one last look at the horse before we disappeared into the trees. "Interesting name . . . for the horse, I mean. Taboo . . ." I mulled it over, smirking at him. "It's taboo to be anywhere near that thing."

He made a face at me. "Hey, no criticizing Taboo. He's a little crazy, but I love 'em."

"Talk about forbidden love." I laughed lightly.

"That's the best kind," he said softly, looking at me. Taking my hand in his, he brought it to his lips and swept a kiss across the back. And just like in the car earlier, my stomach did a little flip. My mind started to wander to unfamiliar, new thoughts of Jacob. Thoughts I had never considered before. And the butterflies slowly filtered in.

*****

Bella:

"You can't be serious. No! There's no way I'm doing that." We were looking at brochures of all the activities to do while staying at the inn, and I was not too pleased.

"Oh c'mon, Bells. It's not that bad, really. You can have Calamity Jane." He was trying desperately to keep a straight face, but to no avail. I could tell he was enjoying this way too much.

"_I_ am not getting anywhere near a horse, period . . . especially not if its name includes 'calamity'." I thought back to the earlier incident when Jake was almost beheaded and shivered. "I like all my appendages just the way they are . . . attached to my body. So no thanks. I'll stay on solid ground." I yanked the glossy pamphlet from his grasp, wadded it up in a small clump, and tossed it at the trash can. It landed far from its intended destination, the wayward thing, so I angrily stomped toward the defiant ball of paper and finished the job myself. Jake, in the meantime, was in another fit of laughter at my expense. "I'm glad _you're_ enjoying yourself." I snapped bitterly, heat rising to my cheeks involuntarily.

His laughter faded into soft chuckling. "I'm sorry, Bells. You're just . . . well, you're you. Hilarious, unforgivably clumsy, and so stubborn . . . I can't help but laugh." His eyes grew serious. "Look, I won't make you ride Calamity Jane nor Diablo, if you just give it a chance. I think you can ride Elsa . . . if she's still alive, that is. That horse is just about dead on her feet. Trust me, she hasn't done anything faster than a trot since World War II."

"You're not serious."

"No. But you get the point. She's older than dirt. Basically, if you don't want to have fun, then she's the perfect horse." He nudged my arm.

"Doesn't make a difference to me. I'm still not riding."

"Sure, sure. Whatever you say. Honestly, Bells, I'll never understand how you can ride motorcycles and jump off cliffs, but yet a horse is far too danger—" He stopped when he noticed my strange expression.

"What are you. . .? Never mind. Must be the wacky shows talking again. Seriously, Jake . . . What _have_ you been watching recently? Anyway, no motorcycles, no cliffs, and definitely no horses! End of discussion." He looked slightly unsure, and then his smile returned.

"Alright, no more on this subject. For now. How about some lunch? I bet Aunt Magena is finished in the kitchen now." In response my stomach growled loudly. I remembered I'd neglected to eat breakfast this morning.

He led the way out of the small guest cottage and toward the main house. As we walked, he hummed quietly to himself. It wasn't a song I recognized; it must have been something he had heard on the reservation. It blended in with the birds' chirping and the waves crashing against the drift wood, creating its own harmony. I was completely at ease. We were almost to the back porch of the house, when something caught my eye. On the beach far below, a girl was casually walking her dog. A perfectly normal activity to do, but that wasn't what had seized my interest. Her big, floppy hat had taken off with the breeze, divulging a thick head of hair that was whipping furiously around her face, its color the most striking, beautiful shade of red. For some reason, I felt a strange connection to her, almost like I knew her or had seen her somewhere before, which was silly, considering that we were over a hundred miles from home. Still, I couldn't shake the sense of déjà vu from my mind. And then her hat was back in place, and the disturbing feeling was gone along with the wind.


	4. Chapter 4

Ch. 4

Endless Surprises

Bella:

Lunch was a small family affair, the few guests choosing to drive into town for their meal. We sat at the smaller kitchen table, rather than in the dining room, and laughed and chattered amicably. It was something I wasn't used to, having only lived with one parent at a time, so I enjoyed the closeness of Jake's extended family.

"We're glad you came, Bella," Aunt Mae smiled at me over her plate. "Jake's never brought a girlfriend to visit before."

I didn't know what to say. Jacob and I had only ever been friends. But it occurred to me that perhaps this was what this trip was about—becoming something more. Had he already anticipated it and told his family I was his girlfriend? I glanced over at him. He had stopped chewing and was looking uncomfortable, but it only lasted for a second. "I would like nothing more than for that to be true, but—" he threw me his crooked smile, "that depends on somebody else." He went back to eating, leaving me the uncomfortable one with the future resting on my shoulders.

Aunt Mae looked at me incredulously. "Well? What are you waiting for? Make my nephew happy. Just look at him—what more could a girl ask for? He's the sweetest kid."

Jake turned his phony puppy dog eyes on me and laughed, but I could see the self-satisfaction behind his long lashes. He was setting this up. I felt like punching him.

"Don't believe my mom, Bella. You could do a whole lot better than Jake right here," Walker leaned back in his chair, staring at me. I knew where he was going.

"Oh really? You have any suggestions?"

He looked around the room, his eyes coming back to rest on me. "He's sitting right across from you." He had a smirk that rivaled Jake's.

Jacob set down his fork, regarding his cousin beside him. "Some suggestion."

Walker ran his hand through his chopped black hair and laughed. "I think so. You have any objections, little cousin?"

In one swift move, Jake had him in a choke hold, the look on his face priceless. "First of all, I do object. And second of all, I may be your_ little cousin_ in age, but not in stature."

"Okay, okay . . . Truce!" Walker wheezed, punching Jake on his arm when he was free.

Although Walker was smaller in stature—he was six feet compared to Jake's six foot, seven inches—he was eighteen, the same age as me. You could tell they were related; they both had the same dark skin, eyes, and hair, but Walker's was short and choppy, styled so that it looked like he had just woken up. His face was more angular, too, with a strong, hard jaw and chin—that aspect reminded me of someone, though I didn't have the faintest clue who—while Jacob's face was softer. Other than that, the two boys could be brothers . . . They acted just like it, that was for sure. Both couldn't go five minutes without striking the other. I found their amiable behavior amusing. Instead of feeling out of place in this strange environment, I felt assimilated, like part of their family, and I'd only known them for little over an hour. It was a nice feeling.

*****

Jacob:

After helping my aunt with the dishes and leaving Walker with one last bruise, I wanted to be alone with Bella. She appeared to be having a good time with my family, but that didn't stop me from pulling her away. This was supposed to be _our_ time, and I knew exactly what my devious cousin was up to. He always did have a way with girls, especially the ones I liked, and I wasn't about to let him work his magic on her. No, I had risked too much to have him yank it all away in a moment of loneliness. I was well aware that he had recently broken up with his girlfriend of a month, and I could read the intentions he had glistening in his eyes all too clearly. It was a good thing I towered over him. He was no match for me.

We had stopped by the cottage after leaving the main house. Bella wanted to change into something warmer before we went out. Evidently, it was getting colder outside, although I never noticed things like that now that I was constantly living in a furnace.

While I waited in the living room, I absentmindedly watched the television. It was turned to some talk show, and I couldn't focus—not that I wanted to—on the annoying host and her poor guest. I looked at the clock; it was almost five. I hadn't realized how long we had spent in the car this morning. I had taken some detours to drag it out, partly to spend more time with Bella in such a cramped space, but mostly trying to throw any potential followers off our trail, or at least confuse them. I hoped I'd succeeded with the latter. Those vampires were pretty smart once they'd had a couple of centuries to knock some sense into them.

I wasn't sure, but I assumed Edward had been around long enough to have witnessed the Victorian style of dress and the invention of automobiles. That guy had so much self-control that my guess _had_ to be correct—that and his elegant way of talking were proof enough. And that made me worried. He had the brains to find us if he wished. But would he come after us after all? Even if he thought Bella no longer loved him?

I only had a short time to make her fall madly in love with me before he did find us. I had taken a bet on him assuming Bella and I were far away, so he would search across the country instead of in his own backyard. But if I was wrong, and he followed us straight here, then I needed Bella's love for me as an indicator. Once he saw that she wanted me instead, I was pretty certain he would leave us alone. Couldn't he see that Bella deserved to have a normal, human life? Not have her mortality taken away from her because she was blinded by her first infatuation. I was sure he would sacrifice his happiness for her, if he could only see what I had always known. That she and I were _meant_ to be together. I could give her everything she wanted—a normal life, family, a safe existence. And I was more than willing to do just that.

She came out of the bedroom suddenly, cutting into my thoughts. I glanced back at the clock; it had only been a few minutes. I was always getting lost in my mind these days. I started thinking and each time, it happened . . . my daydreams went directly to her. Just another sign she was _the one._ I wondered if she did the same with me. As if she had read my mind, she gave me a quizzical look.

"Ready?" she asked, trying to shove her arms inside her coat. I jumped up and held the coat for her, so she could easily slide into it. "Thanks," she mumbled, her eyes refusing to look at me.

I started for the door, not bothering to grab my jacket as a prop. If Bella noticed, she didn't say anything.

"So where are we going?" she said as she caught up with my stride.

"Well, I thought we could kill a little time before the concert starts."

"What concert?"

"It's really not a concert per se, but they have some of the local bands play. Unlike La Push, Long Beach always has little festivals and concerts on the beach for the tourists. It's kind of cheesy, but my aunt always helps out. I told her we'd stop by."

"Sounds fun," she said. "What is that your aunt does?"

"Face painting. That's why she wants me to come help; for some reason the kids love me."

She laughed. "It's because you're a kid at heart, Jake."

I peeked at her. "I'm just gonna take that as a compliment." I grabbed her hand, pulling her back to me. "Come here. Look." I pointed towards the rolling waves in the distance where a whale's fin could barely be seen.

She moved closer and sat down on a piece of driftwood. I followed her slowly.

"This view is amazing. No offense, but there is nothing like this in La Push. The time we went whale-watching, I didn't see a thing, although Jessica swore she saw a couple."

I sat down beside her. "Yeah, well, that girl can be a little ditsy."

"You said it, not me." She clasped her hands together and put them to her mouth, breathing warm air into them.

"Here." I held out my hands, and she placed hers lightly in mine. They were ice cold, compared to mine that felt like I'd stuck them in an oven for an hour. I wrapped my hands around hers.

"Wow, Jake, you're really hot," she said, looking up at me.

I cocked my head and smirked. "Yeah, that's what they tell me."

She tried to shove me away, but of course I didn't budge. "And full of it, you know that?" She laughed, but her face softened. "I'm glad you brought me out here. I like this place. Your family's nice."

I stood up, pulling her with me. "Correction, my aunt's nice. Walker's just waiting to pounce. You should be careful around him. I know he's my cousin, but sometimes I just don't trust him."

"Why's that?" Bella reached out and ran her fingers over the smooth rock of the cliff we were passing by. It was a dangerous one because it didn't exactly overlook the water below. If tourists who didn't know the area wanted to cliffdive, it was a disaster waiting to happen.

"He's never really had a father figure around; my uncle died when he was young. And since then, he's always hung out with a bad crowd. Those guys—well, you just don't want to run into them. They're a bad group." She shivered and I wrapped an arm around her. "Don't worry, Bells, I'm not gonna let you out of sight," I teased.

The sound of faint music starting reached both of our ears at the same time, and we looked up. I hadn't realized how far we had walked while we were talking. The crowded boardwalk was within sight now that we had rounded the cliff. I could see the area where they were setting up the stage for the musicians, and it brought back old memories of the time a few years back when Walker had convinced me to play for the crowds.

We were almost to the boardwalk when Walker showed up out of nowhere. "What's up, guys?" He slapped me on the back and winked at Bella. "Jake, I have a proposition for you."

I groaned, staring at him. "I don't want to know."

He laughed. "You remember that time we played at this thing and the crowd went wild?"

"The crowd hardly went wild," I interjected. "There were at the most thirty people there."

"Ah, yes, but thirty people who loved us."

"Whatever . . . what do you want?" I didn't even have to ask. I already knew too well what he had done.

"Well, I might've gone ahead and signed us up to play." He gave me a sheepish look, and I rubbed my forehead, anticipating a headache.

"I could kill you."

"Nah, you'll love it. And I'm sure Bella here would love to hear you. Wouldn't you, Bells?" He turned to her and winked again. "Did you know Jake is great at guitar _and _he can sing?"

"What?" She looked at me, her eyes wide. "I didn't know that! You never told me that."

"Because he's exaggerating. I don't really know how to play. I just kind of do it for fun." I shrugged.

"He's so modest. The guy's good, he can't try to deny it."

"Walker—" I couldn't believe he was saying this.

"Alright, so it's agreed, we're playing. I brought an extra guitar for you. I hope you still remember _the song_." He gave a short wave and took off in a jog towards the stage.

"What song are you playing?" Bella asked.

I sighed. Oh well. She would find out soon enough anyway. "Do you remember all the times I would come over to watch the game with Charlie, or go fishing when we were younger?" She nodded slowly. "It wasn't because I enjoyed hanging out with a couple of middle aged guys yelling at the t.v. And it wasn't because I loved eating fish every single night for weeks on end . . . I only enjoyed those things because your dad would bring you along. When you decided to stop visiting Charlie, it was a punch to the gut . . . and the heart. I spent the whole summer with my guitar. The song you'll hear is one of the products of that long summer away from you."

She looked away, and I wondered what she was thinking about. I'd probably just made myself look like a pathetic idiot. She didn't say anything. She didn't move.

"Jake . . . I never knew you felt that way. Why didn't you tell me? You've kept this a secret for years."

"Most teenage boys don't reveal stuff like that, especially not to the object of their affection."

"But I should've known. How could I have been so blind? I'm sorry I put you through that."

I felt a pang. I hadn't told her that so she would feel some sort of warped guilt for not feeling the same way. "Bells, it's not your fault. Yeah, I was sad, but you shouldn't beat yourself up over one decision you made a long time ago. All that matters is that we're here together . . . right now. Forget what happened or didn't happen in the past. Just focus on the now." I brushed my hand across her cheek.

"I just feel like I've hurt you so much in the past, but I can't remember the specifics. It's all blurry. And I'm sorry for anything I've done. I don't want to hurt you, Jake," she said quietly.

I took a step closer. "Then say you'll be with me."

"I'll be with you, Jacob Black," she whispered, not hesitating a second.

"That's all I've ever wanted." I bent down to kiss her, and in that moment everything that had happened since she had met Edward was erased. To me, there was no other guy who could come along and steal her away, and I had to keep it that way. But once I reopened my eyes, reality swooped back in, and all my fears and doubts returned.

"Look at you two love birds. I miss being young." I turned as Aunt Mae came toward us. She laid her hand on my arm. "Alright, I don't mean to break up the happiness, but I need your help. The face painting booth is a favorite this time, and the kids are making me pull my hair out. I left Walker in charge for five minutes while I came to get you two, so we should probably hurry back, or else I'll be attending my only son's funeral." She snorted and tugged on my arm.

We helped at the booth for a short while until the families started to make their way over to the stage, and fewer kids showed up. It was close to sunset when I pulled Bella away from her stack of paintbrushes. I intertwined our fingers and led her away from the last few groups of kids who were whining and screaming, leading her to a spot near the makeshift stage. I spread out one of the blankets my aunt had packed.

Bella threw herself down onto the ground and sighed. "No kids for me. That was exhausting."

I joined her. "They seemed to like you, though."

She gave me a look that said _are you kidding?_ "That one kid cried because my dog looked more like a cow. And it's not like I didn't try. It's just incredibly hard to paint a picture on a wiggling kid's face."

I chuckled to myself.

"I don't know . . . the whole marriage and family thing is lost on me. I know it's supposed to be something that every girl dreams of, but it's never been like that with me. I don't know why," she trailed off.

"So you're completely ruling it out?"

She shrugged. "I don't know how the future's going to pan out, but right now I'm one hundred percent sure I don't like the idea. And how do you know that there's only going to be _just one_ person for you? What if there are two? How do you choose?"

She was speaking hypothetically, but I couldn't help answering. "You don't have to choose. Everybody has a soulmate. Once you find them, there shouldn't be any question. You may get sidetracked with someone you _think_ you're meant to be with, but one day you'll realize who your true one-and-only is."

"Jacob Black . . . who knew you were a romantic at heart?" She laughed.

"Yeah, yeah," I muttered, but she didn't see how I looked at her when she wasn't looking, and she didn't know the extent of my feelings . . . yet.

I heard footsteps behind me and turned. "Alright, man, we're up," Walker said. "You ready?"

I got to my feet reluctantly. "Yeah, ready to run."

He pulled me towards the few steps of the stage, running over some of the details. My heart was pounding for some reason, and I couldn't help but feel a little nauseous. I sat down on the first stool and got situated with my guitar while the cheering died down.

"Hi there. I'm Jake and that's Walker." I nodded to my right, where he sat on the other stool, strumming his guitar lightly. Some of the teenage girls yelled, and he grinned. "And uh, we're gonna play a little song I wrote a few years back for a special someone. Bells, this is for you."

It started off a little rough, but it quickly came back to me, and periodically I'd watch Bella to see her expression. When the song ended, I gave a wave and strode off the stage. Walker caught up to me, grinning from ear to ear.

"Did you see that? They loved us. I'll probably get a few numbers tonight."

"That's great, Walker. But I've got someone I need to be with right now, so excuse me." I started for Bella.

She was beaming as she hugged me. "That was incredible, Jake! I still can't believe that you never told me you could play. You're really good. And that song . . . was beautiful."

"It wasn't all that special."

"It was to me."

The next band took the stage and started playing their set, their music a mix of blues and jazz. Bella leaned her head on my shoulder, and we watched the sky fade from blue to gray to a deep purple as one song transitioned into another. This was what I'd been waiting for—my chance with Bella. And I didn't think it could get any more perfect. Things were going my way for once. Luck was on my side. But just when you thought things were going the right way, it could all come crashing down in a split second, and that thought nagged and nagged and nagged me all through the night.

The last band to mount the stage announced that they only did covers of songs. I waited as they set up their equipment, and then the familiar melody reached my ears. They were going with the classics to finish up tonight, and I immediately recognized Elvis Presley's lyrics . . . _Wise men say only fools rush in . . . but I can't help falling in love with you._

I jumped to my feet, holding out my hand to Bella, just as others stood to do the same.

"Dance with me." It wasn't a question; it was pure demand. I knew she would hate me for this. I wasn't much of a dancer either, but in a moment of brashness, I decided I would put my dislike of dancing behind me just to feel her in my arms, swaying gently to the melody.

"Jake. . ." She moaned, grimacing. "I don't dance. You _know_ that." She playfully shoved my hand away, but it was useless. I wasn't going anywhere.

"Bells, I know you dance. You've danced with me before . . . at prom. C'mon, just do this one thing for me, and I promise I won't ask you for anything else this whole trip."

"You swear?"

"No. But do this for me anyway." I pulled her unwilling body towards mine and started to move along with the music.

"You can be such a bully when you want to be," she grumbled as I chuckled lightly. In spite of her impatience for the song to end, she rested her head against my chest and closed her eyes. I tightened my hold, just in case she fell asleep on me—which would be typical Bella behavior to get out of dancing. Fake tiredness and pass out.

The song faded away, and I became aware that people were gathering their belongings and stalking off into the shadows. I pulled back, looking down at Bella. Her slightly messy, dark hair framed her face with soft waves and her caramel eyes were shielded by long lashes. I tipped her chin up with my finger, but before I could even lean down, she was coming towards me. Again, everything seemed right in the world.

I was hoping this kiss would never have to end, that it would continue unspoiled and uninterrupted, when I heard a throat clear. Bella jerked away, her face turning pink, and looked down. I glanced over in the direction of our intruder, but the figure was shrouded under the cover of darkness. He stood with his face pointed towards the ground, his jacket collar folded up so that it hid the lower half of his jaw. Even through the dark shadows, I could almost distinguish the faint outline of a strong, rigid chin, angular cheekbones, and the small sliver of skin that glistened pale white in the dim moonlight. My stomach twisted into a million tiny knots, and my breath caught in my throat. This was it. The end.


	5. Chapter 5

Ch. 5

Beautiful Illusion

The figure glanced up, and my stomach gradually unraveled. I felt sick. Nauseous. I was becoming paranoid, seeing _his_ familiar form in everyone else. I didn't want to be caught off guard like that ever again. It went against all my instincts. She distracted me too much. I'd just have to be more careful next time. A rush of air charged out of my mouth; I hadn't realized I'd been holding my breath. Relax. Calm yourself.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice sounding a little unsteady.

"Wondering what you're doing with my girlfriend here. . ." His voice was low and flat, no hint of any musical quality to it. His lip curled, forming a half-smirk, and his teeth glinted silvery-white. He was standing against the modest light that there was, but my eyes adjusted, and I could see his face clearly with some help from my memory. Dark, almost black, eyes stared at me under tousled hair.

"She's not yours. . ." I muttered in annoyance.

"Not yet." His laughter disturbed the quiet night. I ignored his comment. He was determined. Women were prizes to him.

"What is that on your face?"

His hand rubbed at his cheek, and he stepped closer, angling his face so I could get a better look.

"My mom coaxed me into helping her at the booth. Long story short . . . some kid got after me with the paintbrush. Not my idea of fun. . ." He was still rubbing at the splashes of white paint unsuccessfully. "This stuff is definitely not water-based. It'll be days before it comes off."

"Don't mess with it; it looks good on you," I teased.

Walker rolled his eyes and frowned. "Smart ass. Anyway, you two have any plans later?"

I glanced over at Bella and was tempted to smile. "I have something in mind. Why?"

He motioned behind him where a couple of guys were walking our way. "There's a bonfire party on the beach later. You two want to go with us?"

At the mention of _party_, Bella tensed up. I knew she didn't like parties, but she wouldn't say anything in front of them. "Uh, no, we're probably just going to head back. Thanks for the invite, though."

"Whatever you say. You're missing out though. Beer . . . dancing . . . good times."

His friends were approaching, and I was trying to wrap up our conversation quickly. "Maybe next time." I placed my hand on Bella's back and started to lead her the other way, but Walker stopped me.

"Oh, Jake, you remember Kyle and Blane," Walker pointed to each guy beside him.

I turned back slowly and nodded. "Yeah, it's been awhile." It would seem rude, but I had no intention of introducing Bella to these lowlifes. They had caused many tears from many girls in the past, and I didn't want Bella to be anywhere near them.

"And who's this pretty little thing?" Blane asked, his lewd look aimed at Bella.

Before I could respond, Walker smirked and said, "Jacob's friend."

Bella was tense beneath my hand. I needed to get her away from these scumbags. "Bells, will you wait for me over there." I pointed behind me to an area where a few families were chatting. She looked worried but didn't question me. Her intuition was good; she had obviously picked up on these guys.

When she was out of ear-shot, I turned back around and glared at them. "Stay away from her. I mean it. If you so much as touch her, you won't want to live to see the next day," I snarled. My voice was shaking from fury, and my clenched fists were trembling. I had to keep myself under control. I couldn't lose it here with people all around.

Blane held up his hands. "Easy, Jake, we didn't mean any harm," he said in a mocking tone, but I could tell he didn't mean a single word. "Tell your girl we're sorry if we offended her."

I took a step closer, getting right into his face, even though he was several inches shorter than me. "Stay away. I'm not going to tell you again." My voice was so low that I wondered at first if he could even hear me, but then he nodded.

The two guys turned to leave, and Walker gave me a look. I made my way over to a nervous Bella. Unconsciously, she was biting her lip.

"You okay?" I asked, placing my hands on either side of her face. "Those were the scumbags I was referring to. Now you know why I dislike those idiots."

"They're disgusting. How can he associate with guys like that?"

I chuckled and placed a kiss on her forehead. I was struggling to lighten the mood, but the truth was that I was still angry as hell. "Well, you seem okay to me. More mad than shaken up." She always seemed to surprise me.

"A little of both."

We started for the inn, my arm locked firmly around her. "Like I said, those guys aren't getting anywhere near you. I won't let them."

*****

Bella:

Jacob was trying his best to calm his nerves. He was still shaking, and besides a few words, he hadn't said much. We were walking silently through the sand, slowly making our way back to the cottage. I could tell he was still fuming—his hands rhythmically clenched into a fist, his veins jutting out dangerously, and he never relaxed his jaw. I wished I could say something, but no words materialized in my mind. Besides, if I wasn't any good in dealing with my emotions, then how was I to deal with someone else's? So I bit my lip, chewing on it while I thought about how weak I was. I wanted to reassure Jake. To tell him that those guys hadn't scared me, that I was fine, but that wasn't the truth. The way they'd looked at me had sent chills down my spine.

The silence stretched on, both of us dealing with whatever we were feeling inside, neither of us capable of forming the words to discuss it. Finally, I glanced up, noticing that we were already back at the cottage, but Jacob wasn't stopping. He still traipsed along, heading towards the thick wall of trees. I followed him, unsure of what he was doing. Suddenly, he whirled around to face me, his previous bad mood dissipated.

"Well, are you ready for your lessons?" He had a sly grin pasted on his face, and it worried me to no end. Nothing good ever came of _that_ look.

"_What_ lessons?" I took a step back, preparing to run, but he read my intentions and grabbed my hand in his firm clasp, continuing to smile at me.

"No, no, no. Jake, you promised, the dance was supposed to be the last thing!" I was pulling back in vain, my body suspended at a forty-five degree angle, but he held on tight, not relenting. It was my stubbornness up against his, and neither of us was willing to back down.

"Actually, I never promised anything. The dance was just a favor." He took off into the trees with me trailing behind. I tried my best to hinder him, but all I seemed to do was burrow a trench in the dirt. It was useless; his strength surpassed mine by far.

He pulled me the entire way until we reached the barn. Leaving me standing in the entrance, he darted inside, returning with two halters and lead ropes. Resentfully, I followed him to a side paddock, where four more horses were lazily munching on the tall grass. As he approached, the horses all looked up at him, neighed, and ran towards him at a frightening speed. I shrank back just as I had done this morning, wondering why they didn't just jump the fence if they wanted out so badly. I cringed as I waited for Jacob to scurry out of the way just in time, like before, but he didn't flinch. And the horses stopped a few feet away. He deftly fastened one of the halters on the tall bay and then turned to the gray horse to tie him up as well. I watched in amazement as he led both horses through the gate, managing to keep the two still inside from bolting for freedom. In a matter of minutes, he had the horses saddled and ready, motioning for me with a flick of his finger. He gave me a quick review of riding, lingering on the mechanics of stopping and starting—stopping being my biggest concern—and then helped me up into the smooth leather of the saddle. I stared down at the ground that seemed miles away with wary eyes, trying to gauge the distance and how much pain it would cause when—not if—I fell.

In one swift movement, Jacob had swung himself up onto the horse's back. He was looking at me smugly as he stopped beside me.

"How do you feel?"

"Like I'm sitting on my deathbed. . ." I grimaced. The horse shifted his weight, and I let out a muted shriek, remembering what Jake had said about the animal sensing fright. "Sorry." I mumbled.

"You'll be fine, Bells. I'm staying right here beside you the whole time. Promise." He brushed my cheek with his warm fingers. "And I'll actually keep that one," he added. "Alright, just follow my lead. Nudge the horse a little with your heels. . ." He noticed my blank expression, and my feet that were stuck out as far from the horse's abdomen as possible. I was terrified of _nudging_ the horse too much. Seriously, how is one supposed to know how _much_ is a good nudge? "Or you could just sit there. I'm sure he'll just follow my horse."

He kicked with his heels slightly, and his horse eagerly transitioned into a hasty walk. I looked down at my own horse, willing him or her—whatever it was—to move, but the animal was preoccupied with eating grass. My legs were getting heavy, but I refused to put them down.

Just realizing he was alone, Jacob glanced back and circled his horse, pulling him to a halt beside me. He reached out, grabbed my abandoned reins and gave it a tug, bringing the distracted horse up from his meal. Then he took my hand and shoved the leather strap into my grasp.

"Bella, the point of horseback riding is to actually ride the horse, not sit still while it eats away. And you can't let the reins go . . . If the horse took off, how would you steer?" He looked at me sternly.

"I wouldn't . . . because this thing, like me, prefers to stay right here."

He sighed. "Well, you can sit there all night, but at some point, the horse is gonna want to go join his buddies over there behind the fence . . . and he'll get over there any way he has to. Besides, your legs will get tired suspended in the air like that, and you'll have to put them down. You're not going to stay on that horse _all_ night."

"Fine . . ." I grumbled. "But you're gonna be sorry, Jacob Black. I have a bad feeling about this." I slowly let my aching legs return to their resting spot against the horse's ribs and tapped lightly, praying he didn't dart off, leaving me in midair. He didn't budge.

"A little harder than that, Bells." Jacob was smiling, and it was annoying me. Now I had to do this, and do it properly, just to prove to him. My stubbornness was rearing its ugly head tonight.

I dug in my heels another fraction of an inch, and thankfully, the horse reluctantly picked up his feet. We were traveling like a snail, but at least we weren't stationary. Jacob plodded along beside me, obvious disdain for the slow pace evident on his face. We continued like this for a few minutes, and I finally felt like I had gotten the hang of it. I nudged the horse, and we took off into a bumpy, uncomfortable trot. This was the _worst_ thing I'd ever experienced. I was seriously going to be black and blue from all the jostling.

"J-Ja-cob. . ." my voice rattled and shook as I bounced along.

He laughed in his own shaky voice. "Kick him up again, it'll be a lot more smooth than this."

He led the way, nudging his horse into a graceful canter. I followed suit. And he was right. It was so smooth, like we were floating on air. I quickly recognized the pattern and rocked my body along with the horse's rhythmic dance. Now I understood all the excitement of horseback riding. It was _exhilarating._

Resisting my better judgment, I let my eyes drift shut and concentrated on the cadence of the horse's hooves. I felt the wind lift my hair, gently tugging it backwards. I enjoyed the cool bite of the air, lavished with tiny droplets of the salty seawater, as it misted my face. _This_ was nirvana. I had found my 'happy place.' A place where I could be completely free of the world around me. A place where there was no angst, no pain, no confusion . . . A place where there was just me . . . and someone else. My eyes shot open. _That was weird._ I could have sworn I hadn't been alone in _my_ happy place. Who would be leeching off _my_ blissful place I had created for myself?! It was supposed to be mine and mine _alone!_ No one was supposed to—or allowed to—enter someone else's happy place. It just wasn't right. Unacceptable!

I closed my eyes once more, hoping that I had been imagining it. For a few moments, it was bliss again. My mind was completely relaxed. An unimaginable peace settled over me, and my entire body slackened. I wasn't tense anymore; there was no need for rigidity in this state. I breathed a sigh of relief. And then he was back. This time I kept my eyes closed; I didn't want to dispel the image of this person, whoever it was. I wanted to figure out who was encroaching in _my_ mind's private paradise. Apparently, my paradise included impossibly beautiful guys . . . Well, guy. There was only one, but he was something else. I couldn't see him clearly, for his face quivered and flickered, like a reflection in a pool of water. Despite that, he was stunning . . . breathtaking. He stood motionless, staring at me, but yet through me. As if I was both solid and transparent. A paradox. And the most fascinating part were his eyes. A strange, golden color rimmed with light caramel. Like topaz, the glowing orbs had such depth, such incredible intensity, that it couldn't be anything other than a figment of my imagination.

I had never seen anyone with such beauty before; it wasn't real, wasn't possible for that kind of perfection. Only in Greek legends and myths did one encounter such flawlessness and excellence. Only in immortals . . . gods, goddesses, and sirens. It was not possible to be human and look like that. I sighed. I was content to stay right here in my own little retreat. It was _my_ escape, but I didn't mind sharing it with this beautiful illusion. His grin widened as I registered that thought, forming a roguish, crooked smile that seemed too familiar. I smiled back, far too happy for this to only be a dream. And then his face cracked. I peered closer, and I could see a tiny fissure forming, growing larger and spreading, until it ruptured his gorgeous smile, his unnerving, penetrating stare, and his hard, sculpted bone structure. With a final splinter, the marred god crumbled into a million tiny pieces, dissolving into the rippling water. I stared after, yearning for him to appear again, unscathed, but he didn't.

Suddenly, the cadence was all off. The peaceful rhythm was gone. And my paradise was rushing past me at an alarming rate. Panicking, I threw open my eyes, just in time to see the trees lurching in a menacing way. But I was wrong; the trees weren't the ones moving. _I_ was. Rather, the horse was. We were stumbling towards the ground at a rapid speed. My brain wasn't cooperating . . . It wouldn't bring up the correct words for this dire situation. _Help_ might have been nice. Maybe _save me._ I would have even settled for _aahhhh!_ But none of those materialized. And then, unexpectedly, the ground was disappearing from my line of vision. The perfect cadence was back. The horse's stride was smooth, gliding again. He had regained his footing. I wasn't dying after all.

"Bella! Shit . . . are you okay?! He just stumbled, sometimes they trip, you know. I'm sorry . . . I shouldn't have made you go that fast, especially on this uneven ground. Bella? Bella, honey!" I felt a warm hand against mine, prying my fingers away from their deadly grip on the reins. The horse was slowing; the bumpy, jolting trot was back, and then replaced by the smooth walk. I was being shaken, my face encircled by the same hot hands, pulling my head to the side. My eyes found a frightened Jacob, his forehead creased and wrinkled with worry, so unlike someone of his youth. His lips were moving, but no sound came out. Faintly, I could hear my name being called as if I were in a tunnel. Everything sounded hollow. I was suddenly dizzy, my head spinning and twisting like some amusement park ride.

"I'm fine," I lied. I just needed to breathe. I sucked in a huge breath and concentrated on the face that was etched in my mind. So beautiful . . . And surreal. But impossible. The air caught in my throat as those same strange yellow eyes stared at me through my memory. I had to get back to that place. To see that impeccable face with the perfect features and kind eyes. I had to see him right now. "Jacob, I'm fine." I said forcefully, shoving his hands off my face. They were stifling and restricting, and all I really wanted to do was ride. Feel the wind in my hair again. "Just like you said, horses stumble. And it's okay, I didn't fall. I was just a little startled, but now I'm fine. Don't ruin the night on account of me." I feigned a laugh to make him see that I really was okay. Better than okay.

"Just . . . okay. Fine. Please, Bells, watch the ground, try to stay away from any holes. It could've ended up worse." He nudged his horse, still staring at my face, worriedly. My horse plodded along after his, this time without the need for persuasion.

"Yeah, sure. Now are you gonna race me or what?" I taunted him, knowing it would be hard for him to resist. Then I kicked the horse into a gallop, leaving him behind in my dust. I laughed as I heard him frantically yelling my name.

This pace was even more exhilarating. The canter had been like a carousel, where the seats drift up and down in a slow, calming manner, but this was more like a roller coaster. The rhythm is still steady and smooth, but so fast. You don't know whether to be scared or thrilled. I chose to be thrilled. I couldn't wait to see that face again.

But this time when I closed my eyes, my happy place was still gone. I frowned and slowed the horse to a canter, hoping that might help. It didn't. My paradise was still lost. I hoped that wasn't a once-in-a-lifetime deal. It was just too incredible to disappear like that.

At that moment, Jacob caught up to me, dispelling all chances of my paradise returning . . . for now, at least. If he saw me with my eyes closed, there would be no more horseback riding opportunities. It would be kaput. Gone in the blink of an eye.

We cantered up the hill, dodging the trees and occasional bush, and finally emerged out in the open. The crescent shaped moon shone down on the hilltop, illuminating everything with a hazy, blue glow. He reined his horse in at the edge of the rocks, staring out over the rocky plunge. I came to a stop beside him. It was magnificent; I had never seen a sight as grand. The ocean extended in every direction, until it became just a tight, blue line on the horizon. Directly below us, the violent waves rolled again and again, gaining more force, and then crashing recklessly on the silver rocks below. Everything was so beautiful. It was magnified with the uniform, sapphire light spread all across the panorama.

It was hard to believe that this was real. It seemed more like a dream.

Jake nudged the horse, and it sidestepped closer in my direction. Our legs were touching now, and he leaned towards me, cupping my face with one massive hand. As our lips met softly, I tried to focus on the culmination of this wonderful night, but my disloyal mind kept wandering towards thoughts of the beautiful intruder in my paradise. And the ominous, yellow eyes that now glared at me from beneath tousled, auburn hair. The memories from my illusion that seemed so vivid, so real. They were different from my daydream . . . his eyes were no longer kind and soft, but terrifying and so distant, so unbelievably cold. A chill shook through my body as I opened my eyes to see Jake's warm, chocolate eyes smiling back at me. And our lips met again, more zealous this time.


	6. Chapter 6

Ch. 6

The Visitor

I had three possible options. The first, to board a plane and travel to Florida—Jacob might have taken her there to visit Renee—the second, which again involved planes, to go to Bella's beloved Phoenix—it had been a fleeting thought in Billy's head when I had called, so I couldn't entirely reject it—and the third, my final alternative, to run the short distance over to Long Beach—apparently, he had immediate family that lived there, and it had been awhile since he'd visited. All were possibilities. All of them I had to take into consideration. But which one first?

I could search the entire country, the entire world, if I only had one thing. Time. That, I didn't have enough of. Correction—I had all the time, an eternity, but Bella, she didn't have but sixty-odd years to claim. I cursed under my breath. I should have just given her what she most desired to begin with. I should have changed her, and then there would have been none of this. Jacob wouldn't have wanted her after she was a vampire, and she would have stayed mine for all eternity. I cursed again. Oh, why was I such a fool? I knew how much she loved both of us. I could see the pain it was causing her to have to choose, not that I had forced her. It was more Jacob that was forcing. It was all or nothing with him. He couldn't just support Bella in her decision and be her friend despite how much he loathed my kind. A _true_ friend would do that.

I cursed yet again. Why was I doing this? Why was I scorning him now? I was a hypocrite. Everything I just said was a complete contradiction. I was angry at him for not supporting Bella, but here _I_ was, doing the exact thing that I despised. It was I who needed to reinforce her decision. She had chosen Jacob, and I was to be the friend through thick and thin. I was supposed to understand her decision and not hold it against her. And that was what I had to do. Call it honor . . . duty. Whichever. But I was not going to lose her entirely. Wouldn't it be better to have her in my life, than not at all?

But that suggestion was just too hard, too difficult to consider. Not having Bella to love me the way I yearned for? Impossible. Yes, that was not a choice. I couldn't make her choose like Jacob did, but I couldn't be there for her any other way. It was far too painful. So I would stick to my original plan. I would continue to search for her. And I would find her, determine which man she would be most happy with, and then leave. If it was Jacob, I would persist with my plan to go to Italy. Then Bella wouldn't have to choose—there would only be one man for her. I sighed, rubbing at my chest. There was already a fathomless ache spreading its way through my body. I had to find her and end this.

*****

Bella:

I darted upright. I was in an unfamiliar room with bright yellow sunlight cascading through the open windows. A breeze fluttered the gauzy curtains, and the deafening roar of the waves beyond reached by ears. My brain cleared, and I recognized my surroundings. I kicked the sticky covers off my legs, allowing the cool gust of air to wash over me. It felt good against my clammy skin.

I'd had another nightmare. Well, dream that evolved into a nightmare. It had started off just like my daydream, with the beautiful man peering at me through kind, gold eyes, but that vision had quickly crumbled and faded away. The proceeding scene had been of a meadow. The lush ground had been covered with purple flowers, and the sunlight had shone down through the overhanging tree branches, creating glittering beams of bright light everywhere. And then suddenly, they had become almost blinding, as if reflecting off a mirror. I had turned around, trying to find the source, and he had been there. His skin had shimmered and sparkled as though it was made of jewels, and it_ had_ reflected the beams of sunlight, casting mottled, colorful streaks over the ground. It had been so hard to look at it, but even harder to look away. I had been mesmerized . . . Dazzled.

And then, he had spoken my name. His soft voice had been melodically pleasant, and it had drawn me to him. With every step, his smile had broadened. But when I was only a few feet away, his eyes had turned a menacing, crimson color, and his face had transformed into something terrifying and unrecognizable. I didn't have the faintest idea what it was, so I had run. And it had followed me.

The monstrous creature had chased me all the way to the beach, and I had then fought against the powerful waves that were trying to thwart me. Slowly, the scene had changed again, taking me away from my aggressor. It had morphed into a burning field, the flames licking upward, reaching toward the dark gray sky. The flames hadn't been the usual orange, though. They had been a strange purple, matching the flowers' petals in the meadow. The last thing I'd heard before the scene vanished was his voice again, pleading and sorrowful, as he cried out numerous apologies. I'd been wrenched from my sleep then. The nightmare was over, and I was only in Long Beach.

I heard a groan beside me and turned to see Jacob stretched out on his stomach, his face buried in a pillow. The first thing I noticed was the pile of his clothes from the previous night strewn across the floor, and the dark, russet skin stretched taut over his brawny back. He was beautiful; there was no denying it.

I watched his steady breathing and bit my lip. How had we suddenly gone from just friends to possibly something more? Without making a sound, I slid from the raised bed and tiptoed to the bathroom. I stared at my reflection in the mirror; I looked terrible. The lack of sleep was evident in the dark circles under my eyes. Why was I having these strange nightmares?

I still felt sticky, so I jumped in the shower, letting the refreshing water soothe my aching body. He had neglected to tell me that riding could cause dull pains all over, and I was not too happy about that. But I would just have to deal with that drawback, because I was not giving it up. Especially after my vivid dreams last night, I was determined to figure out what was going on with me. They seemed so real. It was strange.

Cold water jerked me from my thoughts, and I twisted the knob. My body still didn't feel any better after a thirty minute shower, but there was nothing I could do. I wrapped a towel around me and peeked out the bathroom door. Jake was still asleep on the bed. He had angled his long body so he was positioned diagonally and was now hugging my pillow. I smiled and shook my head.

Glancing around the room, I quickly found my bag and dropped to my knees, rummaging for something decent to wear. Settling for my usual—a pair of jeans and a plaid button-up—I dressed quickly, pulled my damp hair back, and slipped outside. I didn't want to wake Jake—it was only seven o'clock, and he needed his rest. So I decided to head down to the beach and wait.

Since it was still early, I had the beach all to myself. I strolled along the shoreline, breathing in the salty, fresh air, and mulling over my bizarre dream. _How could something so vivid, so lucid, be unreal?_ It didn't make sense. I bent to roll up my jeans and waded into the water until it grazed my shins. The water was surprisingly warm compared to La Push. And the weather was different, too. With the sun shining, it was like a different world from the dreary beaches back home. It felt so nice, I longed to strip off my clothes and drift farther. I contemplated that idea. It was pretty early, and if I just took a quick dip, the chances that someone would see were slim. I decided I was going to take a chance for once. Like horseback riding, it would be an exhilarating experience.

I grinned and started unbuttoning my shirt. As I tossed it to the sand, I glanced back over my shoulder. The beach was still empty. Quickly, I took off my jeans, chucking them also. I don't know that I heard a sound exactly, but suddenly, I was alert. I felt eyes on my back, and I slowly turned my head, covering myself as much as possible. Jacob stood, still shirtless, a few feet behind me. A blush spread over me as I bent, gathering my clothes in my arms, shielding my exposed skin.

"Bella, what do you think you're doing?" His voice was stern, and he seemed completely oblivious to the fact that I was standing half-naked just in front of him.

"I—I uh, could you give me a little, um privacy?" This was awkward . . . and mortifying. I watched as comprehension unfolded on his face, and he turned his back to me.

"Sorry. . ." he mumbled unintelligibly. "But seriously, Bells, I leave you alone, and you go and pull a stunt like this?! You could have gotten yourself killed." His voice was raised now, and I could hear the blatant fear. "You really scared me."

I was dressed now, and I walked around to face him. "I'm sorry, Jake. You were sleeping . . . I didn't want to wake you. I just thought I'd go for a walk. The swimming idea was not premeditated, I swear. I didn't think . . . I'm sorry." I couldn't understand why he was so upset; I knew how to swim, that wasn't an issue.

"You can't do stuff like that, Bells. That water is dangerous; there are unpredictable currents and tides that can overtake anybody. It's really rough out there. Please, just promise me you won't try to go swimming anytime soon. . ." He swung his arm around me, starting to lead me back to the cottage. I nodded my head and glanced back at the ocean. He was right; large, choppy waves were already starting to pound the shore. Just a moment ago, they had been smooth and calm, no hint of a storm ensuing.

*****

Bella:

The rest of the morning, following my unintended death wish, was relatively uneventful. Jacob had taken a shower and replaced his bare chest and sweat pants combination with brown cargo shorts and a plain shirt, while I watched the news in the living room. Apparently, there had been several homicides recently in the vicinity, but I didn't dwell on that unfortunate fact. The same thing had occurred in Seattle a few months back, but it had been gang related. I specifically remembered Charlie discussing it with me over breakfast one morning. He had been so worried, insisting that I stay close to Forks. I wondered absently about whether that situation had been resolved. I assumed it had, because I hadn't heard anymore on the matter. So I wasn't concerned; it wasn't like Jake and I were in town often.

Once he was finished with his shower, we had then gone over to the main house for breakfast. Again, nothing unusual. It was the same as lunch yesterday, all the guests gathered at one dining room table. There was one difference—a new guest. It seemed kind of odd that someone would take a vacation all by himself, but Aunt Mae had confided in me that her guests usually were unaccompanied, seeking a quiet getaway to write or paint.

This guy, however, was weird, creepy even. And he didn't seem at all like an artist or writer. Rather, he was more along the lines of football player or wrestler. He was broad and burly with bulging muscles. Very intimidating. But for someone of his size, he appeared to be hiding, like he didn't want to show his face. When he had first entered the room, he had kept his head down, not meeting anyone's eyes. After being introduced to me, though, he had seemed almost surprised and then confused as his black eyes peered up from under his hat. Then, only when forced did he reluctantly remove his baseball cap, revealing short black hair. The rest of breakfast had been extremely awkward; I could see from my peripheral vision that this new stranger kept glancing over at me, an odd expression distorting his beautiful features. At first it had seemed strange, but then again, Walker stared at me the _whole_ time with obvious lust, so I just shrugged it off. He was probably just wondering why two guys would be seemingly interested in such an ugly, plain girl. Still, I couldn't dispel the nagging thoughts that something was different about this chalky-white skinned, dark-haired stranger.

After the meal, Aunt Mae pulled Jacob aside for a favor. I had wandered off by myself, settling into the swing on the back porch. I was rocking back and forth when I saw a darting shadow out of the corner of my eye. I turned, but the porch was empty. Farther down the path leading to the ocean, however, was the tall stranger, gliding smoothly across the stones and pebbles. He was so graceful for a man of his stature.

I heard a noise behind me, and then Walker sauntered past the propped door. He grinned a sly, crooked smile as he dropped down beside me in the cramped swing, leaning back and throwing his arm behind my neck. I ignored that, hoping Aunt Mae wouldn't need Jake's services anymore, and he'd come to my rescue. Not looking at Walker, I continued to stare after the stranger. Walker noticed my intense gaze and followed it.

"That guy's pretty weird, huh? I had a chance to talk to him earlier, and he barely spoke. It was all like one syllable responses. I think he said his name was something like Frank or Finn, I don't remember. He sounded like he might've had an accent or something though, so it's got to be some kind of foreign name, whatever it is."

"He's just plain creepy to me. I don't know . . . Do you ever get the feeling he's just watching you? Maybe I'm just imagining it, but it was strange over breakfast. I kept getting that feeling . . . He seems like the antisocial, mass murdering type." My voice hushed to a whisper as I leaned towards Walker.

He seemed to enjoy the close proximity. "Well, I'll protect you, Bella. Don't worry." His arm pulled me in closer, and his laughter rumbled in my ear.

A cough sounded in the doorway, and we both turned swiftly, caught off guard. Jacob stood against the frame, his dark eyebrows raised and a frown on his mouth.

"Yeah, don't worry, Bells, 'cause _I'll_ be your protection, not Mr. String Bean over here." I felt the swing tilt as Walker vacated his seat, walking towards Jake with his fists up, muttering a series of incoherent words. I could hear the two guys challenging each other, and then they jumped off the porch, prepared for their mock fight. Their laughter and growls filled the air, but I wasn't paying much attention. I was staring at the pair of black eyes before they vanished into the edge of the forest. I shivered violently, despite the warm sun radiating down. If I didn't know better, I would've thought he had been listening to our conversation, but that wasn't plausible . . . He was over fifty yards away.


	7. Chapter 7

Ch. 7

Revelations

Bella:

A storm was coming in. I hated rain, but I especially hated storms. Being cooped up in a house all day long was not my idea of fun. So Jake had driven me into town to the nearest bookstore. I hadn't thought to bring a book with me, but it didn't really matter, because all mine had been read through so much that they were falling apart.

As I was walking into the store, Jake had mumbled something about calling his father and took off toward the payphone. I let him go. He was acting so weird today. Ever since breakfast when the new guest had arrived, he hadn't spoken much, and his face was troubled and grave. I couldn't blame him . . . The stranger was unsettling. He was probably just as freaked out as I was. We would just have to avoid going to the main house as much as possible. That would also get me out of dealing with Walker and his mischievous antics.

I wandered aimlessly through the rows of books, contemplating which ones I should buy. I considered just getting something I'd already read—I liked consistency—but I figured something new was better. Yes, change was good. Change was _especially_ needed in my life. I decided on _Julius Caesar _and _East of Eden_. Shakespeare and Steinbeck . . . two favorites. I know I had decided on new books, but it didn't count when I'd read them once for school . . . I barely remembered them, other than that they were sad. I wondered why I was so fond of depressing, gloomy books, rather than the upbeat ones, but I couldn't figure it out. I loved _Wuthering Heights_, _Jane Eyre, _and _Romeo and Juliet_ . . . All stories which end sadly or are predominantly a sad read. Maybe there was something wrong with my mind? Or maybe I was just naturally drawn to the miserable . . . I mean, I did exile _myself_ to Forks after Renee remarried. And I had done that when I _knew_ I would be miserable. _That_ was pretty messed up. So there _was_ a huge possibility that I was depressed and didn't know it.

I heard the bell on the door chime loudly and looked up over the shelf to see a familiar figure looming in the doorway. Quickly, I crouched down, hoping he hadn't seen me. It wasn't Jake; it was the strange man from the inn. Now I was worried. This was just too much of a coincidence. Too weird. I knew he had followed us here, but why? I wanted to know the answer, but didn't care to stick around and find out. I eased down on my hands and knees, crawling toward the end of the aisle. Other customers were looking at me strangely, but I didn't care. They would be doing the same thing if they had a killer after them too. I was almost to the end, when a large shadow appeared, blocking my path. My head jerked up. I was staring straight into the black eyes of the stranger. He smirked, offering me a hand, but I didn't accept it. I was pretty sure it was okay to be impolite when you were about to be murdered.

"My apologies. I did not intend to frighten you, Bella. You do remember me, right?" He spoke in a soft, musical voice, and it reminded me of my dream. That beautiful god had the same pleasant voice; it lured you to him, just like this stranger's voice was doing now. I frowned, considering the similarities between my fabricated illusion and this person. Both were impossibly beautiful, pale white, and had that alluring voice. _Could it be possible that I'm imagining him too? Maybe I should add hallucinations to my list of mental health problems. _

"Yes. What are you doing here?" I blurted out.

"Maybe we should talk somewhere more private . . . We have issues to discuss." He suggested quietly, his eyes shifting toward the curious shoppers who were lingering on our row.

I was confused. And scared. "This is private enough for me. I like being in the midst of people. And what exactly do _we_ have to discuss? I've only just met you."

"Very well, if you will not come with me, then we'll just have to talk right here . . . Edward sent me, Bella. He is quite distraught over you leaving him and wishes you back. He has sent for you; I am to deliver you to him. So, if you will. . ." He motioned with his hand towards the back exit, placing his other on my back. A chill ran down my spine; his hand was hard and ice-cold, even through my thick shirt. I pulled away from his reach.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know any Edwards, and I don't care to. Please stay away from me. I have pepper spray . . . And I'll use it." I started backing away towards the front of the store. I reached the counter and tossed a twenty at the guy behind the register, darting out the door before he could say anything. I didn't care about my change. I just wanted to find Jacob.

Without stopping, I continued running down the sidewalk, looking frantically for the payphone. I glanced back once and saw my assailant standing beneath the awning of the bookstore, staring directly at me with cold, black eyes. I turned back around and ran straight into something large and warm. Two strong hands gripped my shoulders as my gaze met Jacob's. He looked distressed, anxious. He pulled me toward the car forcefully.

"We have to get out of here now," he whispered harshly in my ear as he shoved me in the front seat. He slammed the door and took off in a sprint, sliding across the hood of the car. I could see beads of sweat forming on his face as he started the engine, racing out of the parking spot.

"Jacob, what's wrong?" I did my best to calm my voice, but it was shaking badly. He was scaring me.

I waited for a response and then repeated myself, searching his face. But he wouldn't answer me. He kept his eyes on the rearview mirror.

*****

Jacob:

My nose and my eyes were burning. I felt like I had lit a match and was holding it up to my skin. Everything tingled and stung, and it took all the self-control I had to stay in my human state. My mind was screaming only one thing—vampire. But it wasn't the usual revolting sweet smell I was accustomed to with the Cullens. That stench had been bearable compared to _this_. No, this was overpowering. Pungent. It literally made me sick to my stomach. My instincts were demanding I change, to fight off this foe, but I couldn't. I didn't dare risk alerting everyone to my secret, including—and most particularly—Bella. My duty now was to protect her, and I had almost failed by leaving her alone in the store. I had needed to call home; it was important I talked to Billy about this. I thought she would be fine since the leech had stayed at the inn, and I was only supposed to be gone for a few minutes. As soon as the foul smell had reached me, I'd dropped the phone and ran. I'd even knocked down a few innocent bystanders while I ran for the bookstore, which I felt guilty about, but it couldn't be avoided. They should have just moved. Fortunately, I had collided with Bella on the sidewalk. I had been so relieved. I had no idea how she had gotten away from him, but I loved her for it. She'd been knocking on death's door and was unaware. I cringed to think what he would have done to her.

I knew a few things about this visitor now, thanks to my phone calls. I let the details of the conversations play over in my head as I drove.

_"Dad? It's me . . . I need to ask you a few questions. . ." I had rushed into the conversation without giving him a chance for nonchalant banter. I didn't have time._

_"Uh, sure, son . . . What's wrong?" He sounded worried, and I could hear as the game was cut off in the background. _

_"I need to know . . . Did you tell the Cullens where I was?"_

_"Course not . . . because I don't know _where_ you are, Jake. Edward called over here asking about you though. But I didn't tell him anything . . . Humph, the few details I _do_ know wouldn't give anything away." My heart stopped beating. He had called. . ._

_"Shit . . . Please tell me you didn't think about what I did. I mean, you hid your thoughts, right? Edward can't know about Bella." _

_"I'm sorry, Jake. I slipped. It's not as easy as it seems. He asked me where you went, and well, I think he probably has a few ideas now."_

_"Which is. . .? Dad, what did you think about?!"_

_"Well, I've been thinking that you might've taken her to visit her mom. Then, there's the possibility that you went to stay with your mom's sister, but I'm not sure you would take her there when it's so close to home. And then I figured Phoenix." Great. He had just given Edward three credible hints. I breathed in slowly, and the vibrations stopped. I had to control myself. _

_"Thanks, Billy. You've just made this a heck of a lot easier for me," I muttered bitterly. _

_"Hey . . . Don't you get angry with me, Jake. This is all your plan, your fault. I don't condone what you've done, so I'm staying out of it. You're gonna have to fix this mess on your own." He had hung up then, and I could tell he was seething. I wasn't going to get anything out of him, so I picked up the phone again, dialing a different number. _

_"Hello?" _

_"Em . . . It's Jake. Is Sam there? I really need to speak to him now." I could hear her hesitate and then mumble something in the background. I could sense she wasn't too happy with me either at the moment. But who was?_

_"Jake? Where are you? You end this little stunt of yours and come home now!" His voice held all the authority of an alpha, but it held no power over me in this state. I ignored his rhetorical question and his useless command._

_"Sam, you have to tell me what's been going on with the Cullens. There's someone here—a leech—and I need to know everything you know. I think he's connected with the Cullens—he seems to know Bella. And I'm pretty sure he's after her . . . I just need to know why."_

_"Slow down, Jacob. What do you mean there's a vamp there? Where the hell are you? You can't fight one of them on your own! This is an order, Jake . . . You bring her back here before she gets killed!"_

_"Sam, just tell me what you know. I don't have much time. He's staying at the hotel we're at, and I had to get Bella away from there. We're in town right now, but he might follow us." I was pleading with him now, desperate for his knowledge. _

_He groaned. "I'm going to kill you myself, Kid . . . Okay, this is what I know. We've been doing our patrols, and we came across a new smell and some tracks. Paul knew it wasn't one of the Cullens—this smell is rank, ten times worse than the usual. He about passed out when he discovered it." I thought about this morning at breakfast when I'd had the same sickening feeling. It had to be the same vamp. "It's awful; there's no mistaking it. It's putrid. I figured there was a group of them traveling together, with that much smell and all. So I went to see Carlisle to confirm my suspicions and make sure they upheld the treaty. But I was wrong. He said not to worry, that his _visitor_ was just passing through, that he'd been checking up on them . . . Jake, you need to come home right away. I don't think this vamp is someone to mess with—Carlisle made it clear that he's dangerous and spiteful. He wouldn't give me all the details about why he was there, but he looked worried. Whatever it is, it can't be good. I have a feeling that's who is after you, Jake. . ." His voice had trailed off._

_At that very moment, the wind had blown, sending a whiff of the pungent aroma in my direction. I doubled over, my stomach recoiling and gasped for fresh air, but it was tainted with the rotten stench. It was so strong and so close. Not diluted in the least bit. He was here. _

"Jacob?! Jacob . . . tell me what happened! What do you know?! Is it about that guy . . . Frank or whatever?" Bella was staring at me, trying to get my attention. Her frantic voice had wrenched me away from my thoughts, but it didn't matter. I had already repeated that conversation in my mind over and over . . . I had it memorized.

I didn't know what to do for once. Bella's safety was my main priority, but I didn't feel like we should run again. What if he only followed us? Then I'd have two vampires hot on my trail, both seeking my blood, her blood. No, I couldn't put her in that danger. As long as we stayed at the inn and I kept my eyes on her at all times, we should be okay. I needed time to think, to mull it over, but time I didn't have.

"Bella, calm down. Everything's fine. Please just give me a minute. I need to think." I forced my words to sound comforting. I knew I had frightened her, and I regretted that, but I hadn't been able to control myself. I had been so scared, so relieved to find her unharmed.

She continued to stare at me, but stopped with the twenty questions. For that, I was most grateful. I debated in my mind what would be the best decision for Bella's safety. And then finally, I made up my mind. I swung the car toward the right, veering off towards the ocean and the road that would take us back to the inn.

*****

Edward:

Felix came for a visit today. Not good. The brute barely even tried to hide his thoughts from me. They were so transparent, sitting there on the surface, begging for me to snoop. He was checking up on us of his own accord. And he had been quite astonished to find that Bella had deserted me. I credit Rosalie and her careless, big mouth for that one. The minute Felix had registered the thought in his mind, he had futilely attempted to conceal it, but I'd already witnessed it. The thought that had troubled me so, even after he'd left—_With Bella gone, stricken Edward would be easier to coerce into joining the Volturi. Aro would gain what he most desired—Edward's unique talent for his use. And I, being the primary reason for Edward's surrender, would certainly rise up in power. Oh, the benefits that would come my way. . ._ I shuddered again as his inner voice played once more in my mind. I didn't like how he'd said, 'with Bella gone." I felt ill, and for the first time, I felt more human than ever. So many new, different emotions swirling around inside me—feelings I had never experienced while I was a vampire. I didn't know how to deal with them. I was queasy, but I had to focus on the recent revelation. Felix was greedy and power hungry, and he would do anything to look good in the eyes of Aro. I had to find her before _he_ did.

*****

Jacob:

I was finally calm enough to think straight. And I needed answers. Now.

"Bella, what happened in the store?" I was finally paying attention to her, and she looked surprised.

"Um . . . Well, he followed me in there. I tried to sneak out, but he saw me I guess, because he came and blocked my path. Then, he said he wanted to talk to me about something . . . It was weird—the way he talked, it was too formal, not how you would expect a guy like him to speak. He said something like 'we have things, no . . . issues, to discuss.' He wanted to take me somewhere more private. I refused, so he said we could just talk right there. That's when it got even weirder . . . He mentioned someone . . . An Edward? He kept saying how he was upset I had left him and wanted me back. He claimed he had to deliver me to this guy . . . Those were his exact words. Then, he put his arm around me; he was so strong, forcing me to go with him, but I was creating a public scene, so it was easy to slip away. I knew he wasn't going to do anything with all those people around."

I felt my stomach tightening back up, the shivers starting again, multiplying in their intensity. _Not now. I have to control myself. Not here. With her so close._

"Was that it? Anything else happen?"

"No. I ran out of the store to find you. I was scared. That's it. Please, Jake . . . Tell me what's going on!"

"I don't know, Bells. But I do know that I don't want him anywhere near you. I'm sorry I scared you back there . . . I saw him go in the store, and I panicked. I was just so furious at him for following you, that I overreacted. It's really hard for me to control my temper sometimes. But really, I'm as confused as you are." I hated lying to her, but even if I told her the truth, she wouldn't believe me. If I was to tell her what I assumed—Bella, your fiancé has sent one of his bloodthirsty leeches to kill me and take you back, so you can marry him, and he can suck the life out of you, forever ending your mortality; although before he has a chance to do that, his messenger will most likely kill you due to poor self-control—she would laugh in my face. And I didn't blame her . . . If I wasn't a part of these surreal myths and legends, then I wouldn't think they were true either. And I hadn't, only a short time ago. I wished I could just turn back time, to when everything was simpler. But that wasn't possible. No. Even though there were immortal monsters roaming the earth with humans, unbeknownst to them, some scientist still couldn't figure out how to turn back time . . . Didn't make sense to me.

I glanced back over to Bella. She had her legs drawn up in the seat with her and was clutching them, a hopeful and frightened look in her eyes. I knew she was still waiting on my response, the one where I tell her what exactly was happening.

"Bells, that's all I know. . ."

She twisted her body away from me. "Fine," she snapped coldly.

The rest of the car ride was silent. I didn't even bother to turn on the radio. It seemed too weird to listen to music when you had two vampires intent on ending your life. _How had I let things get so out of hand all of a sudden? _


	8. Chapter 8

Ch. 8

Some Things Are Meant to Be

Bella:

"Bella. . ." Jacob moaned quietly outside the bedroom door.

"Leave me alone, Jacob. . ." I yelled, diverting my eyes back to my book. I had locked myself in the bedroom, refusing to come out.

I was irritated with him. He wouldn't let me out of the cottage, even to go have dinner with his family. And he wouldn't tell me what was going on . . . why he was so worried about me. So what if I was acting childish, I didn't care. I was going to stay in this room, until he agreed to let me in on the secret. He was so annoying at this moment, that I would rather be around Walker than him.

I heard his footsteps fade away as he drifted farther into the cottage. He had claimed to leave a plate of food outside the door, but I wasn't hungry. Besides, it was probably some trick to get me to open the door, so he could barge in here. I wasn't falling for it. If I got that hungry, I would just sneak out. I'd rather starve than eat the food he'd left out for me. That's how angry I was.

I hated being protected like I was just some silly, little girl. I was almost nineteen years old, for crying out loud. So I might be a tad bit clumsy and accident prone, but I was tired of being scrutinized so much. _Be careful, Bella . . . You might get hurt. Watch out, Bells, that's not safe . . ._ Ugh, it was always the same old warnings over and over. I just wanted to live my life, and whatever was supposed to happen, would.

The television switched on in the other room, the volume kept low enough to hear any escape attempts. Frustrated, I tossed _Julius Caesar_ at the barred door. I quickly felt remorseful for that and rushed to grab the mistreated book where it lay rumpled on the floor.

"Sorry, Shakespeare," I mumbled, glancing at the page it had landed on and smoothing out its wrinkles. A section in scene two caught my attention.

Cassius: Fellow, come from the throng; look upon Caesar.

Caesar: What say'st thou to me now? Speak once again.

Soothsayer: Beware the ides of March.

Caesar: He is a dreamer; let us leave him.

_Beware the ides of March_, I thought to myself. Humph. Such a simple, straightforward omen—look out for the fifteenth of March. Easy. Just like that, Caesar had been warned, but he'd disregarded the significant words. He had chosen to throw away his forewarning without a single thought towards it. But here I was, in the face of a disaster, without one warning of my own. _Beware the ides of March_, I thought again bitterly. Of course, characters in stories always have their signs, and they're usually so blatant. But in real life—no. No soothsayer to come out and say it straight to your face that you're going to die on such-and-such day . . . If only life could be that uncomplicated, simple, straightforward. Where was my obvious omen? Didn't I get at least a small one for this situation I found myself in? Yeah, fortune was not on my side.

I set the book back on the bed and wandered over to my bag. To distract myself, I set about refolding my clothes, which was definitely not something I ever enjoyed, but it gave me something to do. Once I was done, I stood in the middle of the room, looking around uncertainly. I didn't really feel like reading anymore—that whole omen issue had angered me. The television was still playing down the hall, and it had been awhile since I'd heard from Jacob, so I decided to try sneaking out after all. It didn't matter, anyway, because he'd probably hear me and drag me back. But at least it preoccupied me.

I crept toward the sliding door that led out to the small patio, but settled on the window beside it. The door was rigid and stubborn from lack of use, but I knew the windows opened easily. It glided effortlessly up, not making a sound, and I sighed with relief as I slid through the opening. My blood was pumping fast; this was close to the same exhilarating feeling I got when riding. It must've been linked to doing something I knew was wrong. But I let the invigorating feeling guide me farther away from the cottage into the darkness.

I made my way along the worn pathway towards the house, assuming I could dart in and grab something to eat unnoticed. However, movement caught my eye, deterring me. There was a dark figure stumbling down the path towards the beach. I glanced up at the sky. _What would he be doing down at the beach when the storm was about to hit?_ Forgetting my previous intentions, I ambled towards the path, too, being careful to stay a good distance back. Once I was out on the sand, though, he was gone. I walked towards the edge of the water, turning in each direction, hoping for a glimpse of the tall figure. I whirled back to the angry, murky waves. _Had he gone in there?_ If that was the case, I couldn't just _let_ something happen to him . . . What if he drowned? Like Jacob had said, the water was harsh on even skilled swimmers. I couldn't just stand here and let him die. My wide eyes roamed over the black expanse, hunting for a bobbing head, flailing arm, anything that would be proof. With trembling fingers, I slowly started unbuttoning my shirt, just as I had this morning. But this time, I was terrified at the prospect of entering the ocean. I believed what Jake had said about the water, but there was no time to go get someone now . . . I knew what I had seen. As the clouds had crawled away from the moon, I had caught a tiny glimpse of a hand shooting out of the waves. Keeping my eyes trained on the spot, I kept working on the stubborn buttons, but my hands fumbled and slipped. With a single clap of thunder, the clouds opened up, and icy raindrops came slicing down, stinging my face and hands.

Unexpectedly, a warm hand grabbed my elbow, and I spun, staring into the dark eyes.

"Walker!" I gasped with relief. "What—what are you doing here? I—I thought I saw you in the water. . ." My eyes darted back to the spot, but there was nothing there. I had been so sure, though.

He leaned forward, his eyes hazy and smirked. "Aw, Bella, you were worried about me? That's so kind of you."

His words were slurred slightly, and his body was tilting at an odd angle. He lifted a finger and ran it along my jaw. As he sighed, I caught a whiff of his breath. I balked, but he grabbed my wrist, pulling me against his chest. I twisted and jerked, and his hand fell away. I took a step back.

"You've been drinking. . ." I muttered quietly. Realization exploded over my face.

"It's nothing, Bella. Just having a little fun with the guys." He motioned over his shoulder. I peeked around him, just noticing the two dark forms coming up behind him.

"You look gorgeous tonight, Bella. Where's, uh, little Jacob?" The tall guy sidled up next to him, swinging his arm around Walker's neck, and leaning for support. He reeked, more so than Walker, and I wrinkled my nose in disgust.

My mind was racing. There were three obviously drunk guys all preying on me, and I was defenseless. I considered my options. I could fight. And I would inevitably fail at that. Or I could flee. Even if I tried to run, the sand would only slow me down. They had longer legs than I did; they'd most likely catch up in a few paces. Or I'd trip. My options didn't look too good.

"Don't come any closer," I warned them feebly. They snickered in response.

This was like some familiar scene in a movie. I couldn't pinpoint which one, but I knew how it was going to end. Like the poor female lead, I didn't stand a chance. _Where was my omen, now?_ I stared up at the raging sky. _You couldn't have started storming, say, _before_ I left the cottage? _I thought bitterly. _It's a little late._

I took another unsure step backwards, preparing for my escape, but my ankle twisted as my foot landed in a dip. I wobbled and then plunged towards the sand, my hands reaching for the air. Walker met my grasp, but his balance was all off, too. We both fell back, his weight crushing me. He seemed stunned, and I tried rolling him off me while he was in a stupor. But his hands were suddenly running across my skin. I could feel his warm breath against my neck as he whispered, "I don't understand what you see in Jake anyway. Don't you want a real man instead of a naïve boy?" I pushed at him in disgust, blinking furiously, trying to get the rain out of my eyes. It was blinding, and I couldn't use my sight to help fend him off me. So I blindly thrashed my arms in every direction. My nails scraped at his face and his arms, but it did no good. Then my torso was exposed to the cold. His hands were creeping up. This was not happening. This was a bad nightmare. I strained my face away from him, closing my eyes, and hoping to slip away to my paradise. Reality was just too unbearable at the moment.

And then I heard a growl. _His_ beautiful face appeared against the black backdrop of my mind, but it was distorted. His lip curled up above his white teeth, and his red eyes were narrowed into a menacing squint. He looked like a statue, with the permanent expression engraved in his face, but his muscles quivered like he was ready to attack. And he spoke, only for my ears, though.

"Fight back, love. Don't give up. You're just as strong as him." His sweet voice was such a contrast to the frightening image glaring at me that I shuddered. But I remained motionless beneath the cumbersome Walker. As he pinned me down, my illusion snarled louder, his nostrils flaring. A single vein pulsed beneath his marble forehead.

"Bella," he rumbled, "Don't you willingly let him get away with this. Fight back for me, for yourself, love. Please." He was pleading, his face so earnest, so intense. I couldn't resist.

I flung my arm through the piercing rain, meeting with a hard, but pliant surface. I heard a crunching sound and a subsequent cry of pain.

"Good, love. Now again. You've got this, sweetheart." My heart swelled as he called me that. And I suddenly had renewed force.

I lashed out again towards my attacker, but my fist met with air, directly at the moment when I felt Walker's weight being lifted off me. I wrenched my eyes open, wary of what I might find, but I wasn't. Two figures were darting away as two more wrestled in the sand. I heard another crunch, and the taller figure sprinted over to me, dropping to his knees. Jacob's agonized face came into view, and he was cradling me, running his hands across my face. They felt nice, so warm against the icy rain that was coming down in sheets. Water was dripping off his hair into my face, so I closed my eyes. But my illusion was gone again.

"Bella, honey? You have to stay awake . . . Can you hear me? Are you hurt in anyway? Bells, did he hurt you?!" His voice was so anxious and husky. It rang in my ears, echoing every syllable. It was so different from the pleasant, smooth voice of my imagined god. I didn't like it; I wanted _his_ voice back. I wanted _him_ to comfort me.

"Stop talking, please . . . Can't hear him. . ." I mumbled. I wasn't sure if he could hear me or not, but I needed Jake to be quiet. I could hear a faint whisper far off, and I needed silence to discern the soft words.

"I'm right here, love . . . always and forever. Just remember, some things are meant to be. Remember. . ." The soothing, musical voice faded away, until the pounding rain was all there was left.

I felt my body being flung into the air effortlessly, and the rain became more stinging as the wind rushed past me. It felt like I was flying, and then the rain stopped. My body was being wrapped in a warm, dry blanket, and I was being rocked back and forth. I drifted off into a deep, impenetrable sleep, my thoughts on the beautiful god who loved me.

*****

Bella:

Every time I closed my eyelids, the same muddled pictures played over and over in my head. It was just short glimpses, like a slideshow on fast forward, but they weren't in any special order. A picture of me leaning over a cliff, a thick, green forest, a group of pale-white people fighting against each other, a brown wolf howling at the moon, my beautiful illusion with a drop of blood running down his chin, a white outstretched hand holding a glistening heart-shaped diamond, another with me surrounded by four men in Port Angeles—all these visions were changing so rapidly. It was confusing.

I forced my eyes open, looking around the room. I thought it had all been another bad dream, until my gaze landed on Jake. He was draped uncomfortably across the chair beside the bed; he was asleep, his soft snoring barely audible. I noticed his air-dried clothes from yesterday and looked down at my own ripped plaid shirt from the previous morning. It was dry, but my jeans still felt slightly damp from the relentless rain last night. So it definitely had not been a dream. Here was the evidence.

I forced myself out of bed, walking stiffly into the bathroom. I recoiled at the reflection in the mirror. This was not me. The girl staring back had purple bruises covering her body. There were red marks from where someone had scraped at her neck. On her face were patches of dried blood, and her tangled hair had sand encrusted throughout it. This couldn't be me. But it was.

I wiped a wet cloth across the blood—there was no cut or scratch, so it must have been Walker's, from when I'd punched him.

There was movement behind me in the doorway, and Jacob came forward, wrapping his arms around me. He held me for a few minutes, and then pulled back, staring into my eyes.

"Bella," he breathed, "Are you okay? Tell me everything that happened."

"I'm fine, I think . . . Nothing happened. . . But it might have if you hadn't been there." My voice sounded raw. Tears were already welling in my eyes. I leaned into him for support, and he rested his cheek on my head.

"I'm so sorry. This is my fault." He spoke into my hair, so his voice was muffled and soft. It reminded me of the voice from last night. I pulled away abruptly. Jacob must have thought I was still scared, still cautious, because he got this concerned and anxious look in his eyes. He dropped his hands, slowly clenching them into a fist.

"His words. . ." I trailed off, recalling the god's strange, but comforting words in my head. "Some things are meant to be . . . Remember. But remember what?" I didn't understand what he'd been saying. I continued to stare at the white tile of the bathroom floor; it reminded me of his pale, marble skin. I bit my lip.

"Whose words? Did Walker say that to you? That—" He was cut off by a sharp knock on the front door. I didn't change my gaze, but I knew instantly when he had left my side. The warmth was gone; it was just cold, damp, and lonely without him. And I detested the cold and the damp. I wrapped my arms around my chest, trying to hold myself together.

The sound of a tight, mumbled conversation reached my ears, and my focus on those perplexing words was thrown askew. I wandered into the bedroom, listening as the other voice became more pronounced. It was low and frantic, but I recognized it immediately. Aunt Mae forced herself past Jake, throwing open the bedroom door and ran to my side. I steeled myself for the accusations, the finger pointing that was sure to come my way. But her face wasn't angry; it was sad, distressed, worried, anything but mad. She rushed forward and took my cheeks in her small hands.

"Oh, Bella, honey! Are you hurt? I'm so sorry, dear! So sorry . . . Did he hurt you at all, sweetie?" Her eyes were absorbing the disorderly state I was in, and she gasped, her face turning bright red. "Oh, that's it. I've had it with him. . ." She seemed to be talking to herself now, as she futilely ran her fingers through my hair. "Bella, I need for you to tell me what happened . . . It's very important, dear." She stared into my eyes, her own a rich honey brown. There was no way that I couldn't trust her. I nodded, and she led me over to the bed, waving her hand at Jake. He shut the bedroom door with a frown.

*****

Jacob:

Once again, I had let Bella get too close to danger. I was completely furious with myself. I was mad for not just breaking down the damn door, or telling her some form of the truth. But most of all, I was mad because I was actually understanding Edward for the first time. I understood why he restricted her from having a normal, teenage life—she wasn't just a little clumsy, she was cursed with bad luck. It followed her around. I hated that I was finally seeing into _his_ head for once, instead of the other way around. It was strange. I didn't like feeling this for him. It was sort of a mixture of guilt and empathy. I knew why he was so overly-protective of her . . . It made sense.

The one thing I hadn't allowed myself to think about was slowly entering my mind again. And I let it this time. I would have to confront it eventually. Yes, I was angry for all those minor reasons, but this one was at the top of my list. I was more mad, because doubt was spreading throughout my body. Doubt over whether _I _was _the one_ for Bella. I had thought I could do a better job than Edward, but I'd tried for two days, and how many accidents and almost-disasters had she been in? This was the real reason for my anger . . . That I was wrong, and Edward was right. Maybe he _was_ better for her. We both couldn't offer her a completely normal life, but out of the two of us, Edward gave her more protection. She could at least survive two days with him.

I felt the vibrations start low in my body, working their way up. I wasn't sure I could keep putting them off. It was getting far too difficult to ignore them. But if I slipped and accidentally changed, I would be linked with the pack again. And that meant disaster . . . They would see my surroundings, hear my thoughts, and know where exactly I was. I could fully expect Sam to tell Billy and the Cullens my whereabouts, and my plan would be in shambles. He would want to protect the treaty at all costs, repair my wrong doings toward the bloodsuckers, in hopes that the vampire-werewolf relationship would be fixed. I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't let him ruin my plan. I forced the trembling away, thinking about other things. It worked . . . for now, but how long would I be able to resist?

Bella's whispers reached me, and I silently crept toward the door. They wouldn't let me in the room, so it was good I had heightened senses. I could hear her whispering perfectly. I frowned, wondering again for the thousandth time how I could have missed her sneaking out. It didn't make any sense. There had been nothing, no noise last night. And Bella wasn't that good at being quiet. Had I fallen asleep? But no, I'd been watching some show on television, and I remembered the details. As I'd said, it didn't make sense.

The room grew quiet. I glanced at the door, trying to judge whether they would be coming through it at any moment, but it stayed quiet. No footsteps, no rustling. Nothing. It felt like before, when I hadn't gone through my transformation, when I was still a normal sixteen year old who didn't believe in vampires and werewolves. But how could that be? This werewolf thing was in my blood on both sides, you couldn't just make it disappear. So what was going on with me? I strained my ears and concentrated, and the muted conversation filtered back to me almost as if I had pushed the volume button on a remote control. Bella was right in the middle of her story, like she'd never hesitated. It was definitely my hearing that was acting up. And I didn't like it.

"Bella, I know my apology doesn't excuse what he did, but I am sorry. I just don't know what to do to make it right. And I don't understand what has been going on with him. He's my son, and I love him, but lately, he's just been acting so strange. Ever since he started hanging out with those two boys you saw last night . . . I don't know what it is. He just completely changed. It's like they're controlling him or something." I could hear my aunt clearly through the thick wood, the sadness evident in her quiet voice. There was definitely some weird things happening, and I was going to figure them out. And then realization hit . . . Quil Ateara! Why had I not thought of that before?


	9. Chapter 9

Ch. 9

Secrets Revealed

Edward:

"Alice, focus. It's still too dark. Why can I not see anything?"

She was standing absolutely still, staring listlessly across the room. She was having a vision, one that included Bella, but it was pitch black. In spite of this, I was incredulous. But also worried. If Alice was having visions of Bella again, it meant only one thing—that Jacob Black was no longer involved in her future. And this pleased me but left me vexed, because I had not the faintest idea where she was. The positive aspect, however, was that Bella's future was suddenly clear again. I could actually hear her voice—she was mumbling to herself—but her words were drowned out by something else. Waves, if I was surmising correctly. Alice's visions lacked proper sound quality—like when the radio can be heard in the background of a phone conversation. It's never perfectly clear. I strained to listen to the distant sounds. My conjecture was right. She was indeed walking on a beach. At nighttime. That would explain the obscurity of Alice's vision. Her invaluable ability was imperfect and flawed at times, but this was no defect.

I wrung my granite hands together with anxiety. I had never been one with limitless patience, and now, it was arduous. Time passed much slower when one had been around—_alive_ probably wasn't the best word to describe this; I'd only come alive once I'd met Bella—for a century. Mercifully, I was spared from a long wait.

The obstructive clouds were slowly edging away from the moon, allowing the blue light to creep through. The darkness eased, and the scene was unmistakable. Bella was looking out across the angry ocean, but she was not idle. She was faltering over the buttons of her familiar plaid shirt. I suppressed a groan. _No! Not again!_ I thought back to when she had thrown herself off a cliff—not that I'd been a witness to the impetuous, ill-fated endeavor, but I had seen the image plainly in Jacob's tormenting and provoking thoughts. Bella had claimed it was purely for amusement. Due to boredom, she had said. I leaned more towards bout of insanity, lack of good judgment, and my erroneous notion that she would be safer out of my harmful hands. I had been utterly mistaken.

It was confusing, though. Why was she throwing herself into these turbulent waves when she had the one she wanted? Something clicked in my brain. Yes, it made sense. I had not thought I could be surprised as of lately, but I was wrong. _This_ surprised me too much. Of course. Obviously, Jacob had died—God rest his soul. There was no other feasible explanation as to why Alice could suddenly see Bella's future, unless he had died. Or left. I accepted the first, because if I knew Jacob, and I did, he would not just give up Bella that easily. The poor pup was as hopelessly in love with her as I was.

The scene changed, and Bella turned abruptly, her eyes resting on some unfamiliar face. She seemed relieved as she muttered something about him being in the water. He began to speak—some trite statement that was struggling to sound flirty; it brought back mental images of Mike Newton and his common good looks—and in a fraction of a second, I had already deduced that he was inebriated, moments before she even thought to consider that. The indirect suggestion was there, and it made me want to scream, but the ever changing scene stopped me. Two more guys appeared; it was unmistakably obvious they had been drinking also. They kept advancing on Bella, despite her weak protests, and then, predictably, she tripped. I heard a grumble somewhere deep in my chest. It was just fighting to become a roar. Like Rosalie before her, Bella was such a beautiful prey. I would know.

I sucked in the dispensable air, holding my breath and preparing myself for the inevitable.

Suddenly, the first guy was lunging at her. I watched, powerless, as he held her against the sand, and my worst fear began. She fought futilely, but then gave up, her face content and eyes closed. And that was it. The pin had been pulled on the grenade; I couldn't contain it anymore. I lost my temper . . . worse than ever before. I was shaking, trembling violently, but I no longer felt. It was like an out-of-body experience, as if my spirit was looking down on my material form—like that story I had seen in several of the Quileute Indians' minds. But I was unchanged. I was still trapped in my somewhat human body, incapable of helping Bella out of this predicament. I was rooted in place, my eyes transfixed on the grim scene in Alice's mind.

I heard a sinister growl nearby and realized too late that it was mine. Cold, hard arms gripped my shoulders, forcing my hands to remain at my sides. Even with my back to the rest of my family, I already knew it was Emmett. He was the only one strong enough to hold me back from creating my usual destruction. His fingers dug harder into my flesh, and I knew he was thinking the same thing as me. I was attempting to refrain from shattering the measly wall of glass in front of me, but I would, beyond doubt, be unsuccessful in controlling my fury without his unrelenting strength.

I stared at the window, fighting the intense urge to strike the glass and relieve some of the pent up anger, but I wasn't seeing the familiar green foliage of our backyard. Nor did I notice the wedding decorations that Esme and Alice had neglected to dismantle on account of some feeble hope that Bella would return to me. They had been so absurdly wrong.

The ghost of a man I had once been gazed back at me—the sullen and brooding Edward my family most remembered prior to my unexpected awakening as Bella's light had filtered into my dark world. It was still me, just devoid of happiness or life whatsoever, and replaced with a rage that I, even at my worst moments, had never known. _So this is what I've become._ Mine was the face of a true monster, embittered and enraged, more than willing to tear apart anything that got in my way. The proof was staring straight at me with blood red eyes. It had been close to a century since my irises had mirrored the Volturi's hungry eyes, and it was startling, baffling. My eyes no longer were the soft honey that inadvertently dazzled Bella. I stared at the foreign reflection, my lip curling back into a snarl as Alice's vision wrenched me back. The ghastly scene filled me with even more abhorrence than I thought possible. But it couldn't be erased . . . This was all too real. Revolting and horrendous. Vile. Those words were all an understatement compared to _this._

A flood of venom was rapidly spreading in my body in response to the extensive emotions that now clouded my thoughts, making it difficult to concentrate on anything other than killing. For the first time since that day in the Biology lab, I wanted to spill fresh blood. I longed to avenge her, to punish this swine who was inflicting such a horrid act on someone so precious to me. Her life was infinitely worth more than mine, and here I stood, far from vulnerable and helpless as she currently was, yet I had no control over the dire situation. Gladly, I would have sacrificed myself for her a thousand times over.

A calm started to spread over me, threatening to overtake my anger. Jasper was working hard to relieve me from my emotional vise, and it seemed to be working, until I refocused on the vision again. The vise was unrelenting, and I was enraged once more.

With every new hateful image, my fuming thoughts deepened, feeding the coursing venom. I felt oddly human, like something was pulsating beneath this marble skin of mine. Emmett still held me hostage, waiting ever so patiently for my spell to pass. I knew he didn't mind—it was almost like a competition to him, the tangible proof of just how strong he really was. He had my body oppressed, but there was no controlling my mind. Not even I could stop the futile words from forming on my lips. I was shaking wildly as I heard my voice, low and soft, but still menacing, growl "Fight back, love. Don't give up. You're just as strong as him."

To my astonishment, Bella seemed to smile as if I had spoken the words directly in her ear, like there wasn't an undetermined distance between us. It gave me a false sense of hope that was hardly more than fleeting—it surfaced and then vanished—but it encouraged me to continue with the string of instinctive orders. It didn't matter that I was conversing with no one; I had to do something, anything to occupy my mind. And it appeared my commands were working. I saw her fist directed at her attacker's nose, and the proceeding crunch made me a little less anxious. Again, I heard my voice bellowing "Good, love. Now again. You've got this, sweetheart." She was fighting back, and that fueled the embers of my hope, rekindling it just enough to placate the violent trembling.

I saw her flailing arms once again, and then the vision went blank. It was over and I was missing a vital piece of the story . . . the dreaded outcome, the ending. I struggled out of Emmett's grasp, darting over to Alice in a daze.

"No! What happened? Focus, Alice . . . Please. . ." I glanced down at my hands, realizing I was clutching her thin shoulders roughly. Despite the common knowledge of her indestructible composition, I quickly released her, my clenched hands flying to my hair in distress. My bronze locks resisted, indestructible as well.

Alice's glazed eyes grew wide as she shifted from the vision to reality, assessing my maddening state. "I'm sorry, Edward. That's it. I can't get anything more. She's just blank . . . like it's been the past couple days." She suddenly jerked back, her face aghast. "Edward . . . your eyes . . . Carlisle, I think you should come see this! Their red!"

Her soft voice was frantic now, laced with concern. I didn't understand the urgency; I'd already seen the object of their anxiety. It was just the final confirmation that I was a monster. Perhaps it was best that Bella was out of my reach. I would only end up killing her.

I watched warily as the rest of my family rushed towards me, their stone foreheads wrinkled and golden eyes round. Carlisle grabbed his penlight, shining it into both my pupils as he did on his human patients.

"What does that mean?" Esme asked, shocked and worried.

"How long have they been this way? Emmett? You were with him just now. Did you notice this?" Carlisle's professional tone masked the alarm in his voice, but I could hear his thoughts clearly. He was struggling to dismiss the possibility that I had slipped. There was a hint of doubt about my self-control as he recalled my previous preferences toward diet.

"I wasn't able to see his face. I was just holding him back." Emmett stepped forward, throwing his forearm over Carlisle's nearest shoulder, and peered down at me like I was some intriguing spectacle.

I couldn't take this anymore . . . being around all of them. I was suffocating, but not in the literal sense. I needed some space, some time to be alone, to think. I brushed past them, heading for the door, and didn't stop to consider which direction I was headed. My subconscious already knew, so I just ran. Running was the only thing that really cleared my head. And that was a necessity at this moment . . . I needed to be able to focus on this awful nightmare that was my life. I needed to sort things out.

The familiar setting rushed into view as I reluctantly slowed to the exasperating pace of mortals. I ambled towards the center of the patch of purple flowers. Even as the world was spinning out of control, our meadow had withstood the test of time. It remained unchanged since that fated day when I had revealed my deepest secrets to her. The nostalgic memories brought back a torrent of emotions that wrecked the calmness I had attained during my run.

I growled once more, throwing myself carelessly to the ground below. The soft dirt gave way, and the fragile flowers were crushed with the force of my monstrous body. I picked at them, grinding the flimsy petals into a fine lilac dust. It didn't matter anyway. They would come back, that was certain, but the prospect of Bella returning was dwindling.

Had she just forgotten everything we shared? The love, the memories? No, it just didn't seem conceivable. The manner in which she spoke to me did not follow that of a transient infatuation. Her affections were not something that could just be pushed aside when the next young prospective boy arrived in the picture. I didn't believe that at all. Something was awry . . . I felt it deep in my body. What if she had not gone voluntarily? I wondered where that seed of doubt had originated, but it gave me restored hope. Hope that perhaps Bella would be mine again someday . . . soon.

Pulverizing the flowers methodically, I made a solemn vow to her. "I'm right here, love . . . always and forever. Just remember, some things are meant to be. Remember. . . ." My voice faded with the sudden gust of wind as the cold drizzle soaked me thoroughly. _Some things never change._

I heaved myself up and took off into the dense trees. If I truly loved her, I would turn around, stop this at once, before I could do anymore damage. I should spare her the pain and despair. I should let her live a happy, normal life with Jacob, but my judgment was impaired by love—how could I just let what we had die? I was going to allow myself a little selfishness, to possess what my heart most craved, required. My mind was clear and I was determined. I would be coming for her . . . Starting now.

*****

Jacob:

I should've anticipated something like this happening, but no, I was stupid instead. Blinded by hope and love . . . Determined to believe that Cinderella and what's-her-face were right when they said fairy tale endings do exist. Where did that mentality ever get anyone? I'll tell ya where . . . a rock and a hard place. I'm a fool. So call me foolish.

I hadn't thought it was possible, but I had turned into even more of a cynic. If this continued, I'd turn out like Leah, which was the worst possibility. I didn't want to consider living such a bitter, angry life, always throwing salt in the wound, keeping it fresh and painful. So masochistic, just like them all.

I ran over the list of things that had gone disastrously wrong; it was piling up steadily, until it was overflowing with a whole bunch of bad luck. Just my style—to further screw up the lives of those connected to me.

The newest addition to my list—Walker. I knew how to handle this, that wasn't what was holding me back, but I just didn't want to confront the situation. I didn't need another distraction at this moment, but I had only myself to blame. I had thrown another rock in my hard place, and it was getting pretty cramped. If I hadn't taken Bella away, there wouldn't be a bloodsucking beast intent on recapturing her, and consequently, Walker wouldn't be on the verge of transforming into a werewolf. It was a cycle that always led straight back to me—I was the instigator of these disasters, so naturally, they would find their way right back to me, catching me in their wake. I would have to fix this mess.

A flood of new solutions bombarded me. There was a chance, though a slim one, that if I removed the source, Walker's body would forget all about the wolf nonsense. I wasn't sure about the time limitations because each individual was different, but it could work. I'd never thought to ask Sam about the specifics, like if the source, being the bloodsucker, left before the complete transformation, could the impending change simply stop? We were created to protect and defend when in need, and the need had presented itself. I might be able to save Walker from this fate and save myself from his frustrating presence and merciless thoughts, too. It had been hard enough to endure Leah _and_ Paul; having to listen to his thoughts too would be the death of me.

While the idea sounded perfectly fine to me, I knew it was a selfish solution to the problem. I didn't want to have to deal with Walker because he provoked me too much, but I had to admit that he would be _somewhat_ useful. Not that I didn't think I could take this vamp single-handedly, but the odds would be better if there were two of us against one measly bloodsucker. It would be safer for Bells, and that's what really mattered, not whether my sanity was in question. I had to look out for her, and if that meant playing alpha to him, then I'd just have to go along with it. He couldn't go through this without some sort of direction and instruction, and unfortunately, it'd have to come from me.

All selfish thoughts pushed aside, I knocked loudly on the closed door. The conversation was stopped short and then Bella's soft voice could be heard, allowing my entrance. She was sitting on the edge of the bed with her pale arms wrapped around her knees, her bottom lip in its usual position between her teeth. My aunt was beside her, resting a reassuring hand on Bella's arm. They looked at me anxiously, obviously waiting for me to speak.

"I have something I need to do. Can you stay here with Bells?" I directed the question at Mae, but kept my eyes on Bella's face, gauging her expression. I didn't want to leave her while in this state, but I had to take care of this business before it got out of hand.

"Sure, Jake."—She hesitated.—"Please don't be too hard on him; remember, he _is_ my son, and I can't trade him in, no matter how terrible he is sometimes," Aunt Mae replied, looking slightly worried, and I supposed she had every right to be. If it was up to me, I would bash Walker's face in until he was unrecognizable. Too bad that was one of my selfish solutions that I had rejected moments ago. _Think of Bella,_ I reminded myself.

"Don't worry . . . I won't do any permanent damage." I gave a tight smile, knowing that that wasn't entirely a lie; he would heal just as fast as the rest of us now.

"Give him a slap for me?" The corners of Bella's lips turned upward, just enough to hint at a smirk. "If you don't mind," she added wryly.

I didn't understand her composure one bit. She was so stoic when she ought to be freaking out. For some reason, her emotions were always backwards.

"'S okay, not a problem at all. I'll do it gladly. . ."

I turned and shut the door behind me, making my way towards the door as their quiet conversation resumed.

Once outside, the salty air and the garden's fragrance couldn't mask the undeniable vampire stench that grew stronger with every step. He was in the house, where I was headed, and I was worried that my primal instincts would fight to take over, and I would lose control. I had gotten myself into a pretty sticky situation, all things considered. If I needed to fight this leech, I'd be forced to change into my wolf state, which I couldn't do, not unless I wanted my whereabouts known to my pack. That would be a huge mistake, resulting in Edward, Bella's knight in shining armor, to swoop in and steal her from me. This would've all been for nothing then. Yes, sticky situation to be sure.

I quickened my pace, wanting to get this over and done with. The less time I had to spend around the monster, the better. I didn't know which one I was mainly referring to, but I guessed it was the vamp.

Fortunately, Walker's room was on the opposite side of the house, far from the guest wing—or whatever they called it. Without bothering to knock, I barged into his bedroom, where Walker lay prone across his bed, his head buried beneath a pillow.

"I think we need to talk, _cousin_." I said the last part as bitterly and resentfully as possible, knowing I'd feel a whole lot better just hitting him like I wanted. I couldn't though; I had to demand his attention and that was one way to distract him. I needed him to trust me—of all the ridiculous things—so that he would understand this fate he was entering into.

"No we don't, Jake. I'm sorry for the stuff I tried last night with Bella. It was wrong . . . and I know that. I regret it, but it can't be undone."—He said it all on one long breath, no fluctuations of tone, like he'd been rehearsing it over and over—"Pass that on to her, will you? And please don't stomp down the stairs so loudly on your way out; my head's killing me." He waved his hand at me, motioning for me to leave. Like he was going to get off so easily with just an apology.

I picked an abandoned pillow off the floor and hurled it at him as hard as I could. It made a loud sound as it hit his back and bounced off toward the wall. He moaned and rolled over, rubbing the sides of his face like so many do when they have a hangover. Served him right. He deserved much worse than that.

"Sit up, dog." I pulled a chair over to face him and sat down impatiently.

"Jake, don't feel compelled to have the talk with me once again. I've heard it enough from my mom. I've already said I'm sorry; isn't that enough? It's not like I actually did anything to her."

My temper started to flare, but I restrained myself from physical punishment. "_That_ doesn't matter. If I hadn't of shown up when I did, something _would've_ happened. It's wrong either way. But I didn't come here to discuss that. You'll serve out your sentence another way. There's something more import—"

He cut me off. "Serve my _sentence_? What are you talking about?" He eyed me strangely.

I smiled at him, letting the words sink in until his mind had imagined all sorts of sordid punishment.

"How much of the old Quileute legends have you heard?" This reminded me of the day on the beach with Bella, when I had unintentionally given her the truth she needed about her Cullen clan. Seemed like forever ago; we were such different people then.

"Not much. I dunno, Mom's told me a few stories now and then. Why?" Walker looked skeptical. Good, 'cause I was about to scare the hell out of him.

I continued on sarcastically. "Well, Walker, there's a few things you should know about our dear old Grandpa Quil . . ."


	10. Chapter 10

Ch. 10

The Chasm Runs Deep

Bella:

I feel like everyone's looking at me. Like they know something is terribly wrong with me. I hear voices in my head and have hallucinations . . . and I like it. What does _that_ mean?

But it's not entirely my fault. I have no control over what the hallucinations look like. Why can't he just be some regular boy like that average guy over there? I glanced toward the sandy haired teen walking along the beach, hands clasped with an equally average girl. He noticed my conspicuous stare and gave me a wink, which made his girlfriend none too happy. I looked over my shoulder, searching for a hidden person behind me, but there was no one. Surely he couldn't possibly mean that for me. I was just as average, maybe even more so. He smiled then—triggering a slap from the livid girl—and I quickly diverted my eyes, an all too familiar warmth spreading over my cheeks. It wouldn't be so obvious if I only had a tan, but that was a matter of humor. I could already feel the slight burn on my ivory skin.

I felt a gentle nudge on my arm. "Bella, dear? Are you listening to me?"

I immediately felt impolite; Aunt Mae had been talking to me, and I had missed every last bit of it because of my wayward thoughts. They always seemed to revert back to _him_, that strangely beautiful face in my mind.

"Sorry. I was just thinking. Go ahead."

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked me politely, giving me the option of denying easily.

I thought about it. It wasn't easy to share my feelings and thoughts, never had been, except with Renee. But Mae offered that same ear to listen, and she gave a little more—the maternal nature that had mostly been absent with my own mother. I had always taken on that role, and perhaps now it would be nice to hand over my old position.

I smiled sheepishly. "You'll laugh. It sounds crazy."

"I promise I won't."

I hesitated, gathering my thoughts. "Don't say I didn't warn you." I took a deep breath and plunged on. "The past few days I've been having these vivid dreams and, here's the crazy part, hallucinations . . . I start hearing things that I know aren't real. . ." I could feel the heat of the blush plastered permanently on my face.

"Hmm . . . Hallucinations you say? Like you're seeing things?" Her voice held no contempt or mockery in it, which calmed me, and I could feel the heat begin to recede.

"Well, yes. It started the first day we were out here. Jake took me riding, and suddenly, it just happened. I was wide awake, but yet I was having these dreams that seemed so real. It's strange; I can't control them . . . And then last night, he was speaking to me, which was a first. This sounds bizarre, but it seems so familiar."

I hadn't intended to spill everything like that, but she put me at ease. It was like she had the ability to calm my nerves. I had another wave of déjà vu, but I shook it off. It made no sense at all—the illusions, the voices, the feeling of disconcerting familiarity. I was falling apart, imploding, starting with my mind.

"I've heard stranger stories than that, dear, so don't worry. You're not losing your mind. There are many legends in our tribe that would explain why this is happening to you, but the truth is, most are not completely logical, so I'll give you the rational version that I learned in Psych. Sometimes when our minds are under a lot of stress, they have to find other ways to cope. You've been dealing with a lot of stress lately, so that seems plausible. Another explanation could be that you have something repressed, and it's just trying to get out. It's another coping mechanism."

"Repressed." I repeated. "Like what?" I wasn't sure why, but this possibility grabbed my attention and held it.

"Like memories or thoughts, anything really. Just whatever your mind can't deal with. It sort of locks it away until you can, I guess. And then one day, your subconscious gets a mind of its own and shows you all these little signs. It's confusing and definitely scary when you believe you're going crazy, but it's just your way of working through the stress. Most of the time, familiar environments, objects, or even people trigger the mind, and suddenly, you just remember, like it had never been repressed at all. They do that with people who have amnesia, and then everything just falls into place. It's similar; if it works for them, it might work for you. The only question is, who or what is going to unlock your secrets." She glanced over at me, and her eyes twinkled in the bright sunlight.

Despite the warm beam of light, I shivered. I didn't know why, but this was all very strange. If she was correct, then what memories had I unconsciously hidden and why? Had the shock of moving to Forks and leaving behind my mom and my comfort zone sent me off the edge? Maybe all the while, even as everything seemed fine, I had really been plunging into the dark unknown of the abyss and didn't realize.

I shivered again. I no longer felt whole. My body felt like it was shattered into a million different pieces, scattered across the surface of the bottom of the abyss. How was I to put myself back together when everything was in ruins? I would need help, but who was bold enough to throw himself down into the chasm with me and save me?

Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around my chest. A sudden ache wound its way through my torso, seizing my heart and squeezing until it felt like I was on the verge of rupturing. I drew in a ragged breath, willing myself to hold it together. I couldn't lose it here with Aunt Mae. If I didn't even know what was happening to me, then how was she likely to understand why my body was shutting down.

I had to be strong. I had to figure this thing out, to find the source of my dull ache and apparent mental distress. I had to reveal the repressed memories that my mind was stifling. I had to bare them, so that I could finally start to piece myself back together. These missing links were like the border of a puzzle; without them, you couldn't fill in the middle and complete the picture. I was this confused picture with millions of tiny pieces in disarray, waiting patiently to be united. But who was to be my sculptor?

*****

Jacob:

Life is like a game of chess; I don't understand it and I don't care to. It's unpredictable, frustrating, and your plan always get foiled by another. As is the case now.

Walker thinks I'm delusional, among other things and refuses to participate in my plan. I can honestly say I know how Sam felt when I was going through my transformation. I was just plain, down right obnoxious. And rude. But that can't be helped; it's just in my nature. When you grow up with two older bullies of sisters, whose favorite pastime had been to dress their poor brother up as a girl—full-blown makeup and heels—then you automatically develop a necessity for rudeness. There's no escaping it. And I prefer it this way anyway. That and sarcasm allow me to hide my emotions. I guess it runs in the family because Walker is all about being rude.

I didn't know how to get it across to him, but I guessed, soon enough, he'd understand. It'd take four legs, claws, and a muzzle to make him see the light. And then he'd come running with terror to me. I considered the idea of leaving him on his own, all alone in his permanent wolf state—for obviously he wouldn't have figured out how to transform back—to teach him a lesson. The idea was growing and so was my humor. Yep, I loved a good joke just as much as the next person.

You see, our's is a love/hate relationship. I hate him 'cause he's irritating; I love him 'cause I have to. Once upon a time, we'd been really close, but he'd hit puberty and thought he was every girl's gift. His time had been too monopolized for me, and we had grown apart. He rationalized it as he was two years older than me and far too mature. Oh how the tide has changed. Physically and mentally, I'm like 25, while he's still stuck at fifteen. And so, I treat him as such.

He's irresponsible and reckless, been that way since my uncle died. I see it as this: You either go one way or the other. For me, I'd been forced to grow up fast, probably too soon, but it'd been my responsibility to care for Billy and look out for my sisters—I'd had to step into the man-of-the-house role. Walker was quite the opposite. He'd become rebellious and simply stupid, completely self-absorbed. His approach to life was that the world belonged to him and everyone should bow down. I had, long ago, thought of the perfect description: egotistical.

It wasn't likely that this transformation would straighten him out, but I had my fingers crossed. A lifetime of him in my head was gonna be hell. I was still working out the kinks in my plan. I figured he couldn't be left alone, so I'd just dump him off on the res, let Sam put some character into him. It was the only way Bells and I could be alone. But this would only take place after the leech was killed. And that was about it to my so called plan. I'd never been any good at planning ahead; procrastination was more my kinda thing.

I supposed the only thing I _could_ do was just sit and wait. Wait for Walker to get really mad, and then bam, the change would happen. In the meantime, I'd protect Bella and fend off the reeking bloodsucker. And most importantly—work on making her fall in love with me. It'd only be a short time now before she realized. And I'd be waiting with open arms.

*****

Bella:

The road flew past us. I had stopped trying to gaze out the window a long time ago; the speed made me dizzy, and it hurt my eyes straining to make out some form or shape. I leaned my head back against the supple leather headrest, forcing my heart to return to its normal beat.

There was a tangible electricity in the car on this night. It was unmistakable; it made my skin feel alive. It tingled and quivered involuntarily.

As calmly as possible, I glanced to my left. _He_ was still there, his beautiful face focused on the road, his strong jaw clenched and tight. But why? He always appeared to be restraining himself. I wanted answers, but I didn't know where to begin. He seemed deep in thought, and I wondered what his exact thoughts were at this particular moment.

As if our minds were connected, he turned his face to me and smiled. If I hadn't been sitting, my knees would have buckled under the warmth of his gaze. The honey tint glistened and its depths were indefinite. I could get lost in that gaze easily.

"What are you thinking about?" He looked puzzled, but still amused, the tension in his jaw erased completely. I must have been imagining it, for he didn't seem the least bit anxious or angry. Nothing but relaxed and beautiful.

I swallowed, hoping my voice would cooperate. "You," I told him truthfully. I hadn't intended to blurt out the truth, but there was something about his eyes that coaxed me into doing things I might never have done. They were mesmerizing. I had a definite weakness.

His mouth twitched slightly and he held my gaze. I couldn't read anything in those eyes of his, despite my desperate attempts. My breath came out in irregular sputters. He probably either thought I was incredibly childish or I had severe asthma; both were not very attractive in this situation, with our heads inclined toward each other.

"Is that so?" His voice was so quiet, but yet so melodic.

I turned away, sensing my blush. It didn't seem fair that my body always betrayed me. There were so many different ways—blushing seemed the most innocent, but then there was the lack of coordination involving my untrustworthy limbs, not to mention my uncontrollable, involuntary breathing.

I was still unsuccessfully working on the latter, so I simply nodded. I could see from the corner of my eye that he seemed pleased that he'd flustered me yet again. It bothered me, though I didn't know why. I didn't enjoy him laughing at my expense, which occurred more than often.

He surprised me, however, by reaching over and gently resting his hand just above my knee. The electricity was palpable again. It seemed to be radiating from our touch. Coldness seeped through the thick material of my jeans, mingling with the current, and sending a wave of shivers down my spine. I looked up at him, but then his hand was back on the steering wheel as if nothing happened. The cold lingered for a moment and dissipated.

"So are you going to enlighten me on your thoughts, considering I was the primary focus?" The sing-song quality of his voice wreaked havoc to my heart.

"Negative."

"Please, Bella. I'm interested in hearing this. For me?" That same roguish smile caught me off guard, and I folded.

"You are such a mixture of ambiguity. You're annoying and frustrating because of your incessant taunting, but yet I find you appealing and charming, simultaneously. How do you do that?" I bit my bottom lip; once again, he had compelled me to reveal everything. I hated that.

"So now I'm appealing? Hmm, I rather like that description." He was grinning from ear to ear, much to my chagrin. I wished I had a stronger will, so I wouldn't disclose my inner thoughts whenever he so much as smiled at me. He was definitely reveling this way too much.

"Now I just find you obnoxious," I muttered. "Okay, fine. It's your turn. What were you thinking about me a second ago?" This should be interesting.

"Who said I was thinking of you just now?"—He chuckled at my annoyed response. "Sorry to disappoint, but my thoughts were actually consumed with other matters presently. I'll have to get back with you on that." He was taunting me again, and I didn't like it.

"Whatever," I said bitterly. For all I cared, this was the end of our conversation.

"Ah, Bella, you seem upset. Why is it that I bother you so much?" Again, he was far more amused than perplexed. He knew exactly what he was doing; feigning ignorance was not endearing at the moment.

"You're so confounding. Why don't you answer some of my questions, like where are we going for starters?"

"That's a secret. I told you that when I picked you up, don't you recall?"

"You never answer _any_ of my questions. I recall that perfectly well. Why are you so secretive about yourself? Who are you? What's your past? Tell me something, anything . . . Just let me in." He was forever doing the questioning, but never on the receiving end. I was on the verge of pulling my hair out.

"It's not the right time for these answers, Bella. Besides, if my past is any indication of the future, then you don't want to be a part of it." He glanced over at the clock on the dashboard. "And sadly, our time is up. Don't worry, love. You'll know when it's the right time. I'll be coming for you. Stay on your toes."

Everything went black. I searched all around me, but he was gone. I opened my eyes, and I was back in the bedroom at the guest house. No speeding silver Volvo attempting to surpass the speed of light, no mysterious delusion intent on crushing the remnants of my sanity. I was all alone. Well, partially . . . I still had the voices—they were just concealed momentarily.

I'd only wanted to take a quick nap, but the hours had flown by. Soft gray light entered through the window, and I guessed it to be around dusk. Twilight—my favorite time of the day.

I gathered the sheet around me and considered my dream. How was it even possible that something that real was in fact just my imagination? I thought back to earlier on the beach, when I'd confided to Aunt Mae. This is obviously what she meant about repressed memories, but how did I make myself understand them? There was something so familiar about this beautiful illusion of mine. It bothered me that he knew me so well in my dreams, but yet I didn't have a hint as to who he was.

The only way to figure this out was to delve right into it. I sounded ridiculous considering this, but I would need his help in unraveling my secrets. And I would have to seek him out. The best way appeared to be by provoking him, since he had always shown up when I was in danger. That would have to be my goal, then—put myself in dangerous situations. But it seemed worth it if I could solve this mystery that I had unknowingly become.

I crawled out of bed and pulled on my jeans that were dangling from the chair. The sound of Jacob's laughter reached my ears, and I realized I wasn't totally alone. The bedroom door was half-open and he was within my line of sight, sitting in a chair and watching TV. He'd obviously moved the chair closer to the door to keep an eye on me while I slept, because I didn't recall it ever being there before.

I walked towards the door just as he turned his mischievous smile on me. In one long stride, he had pulled me in his arms, my cheek resting against his brawny chest. I breathed in his familiar scent and sudden remorse filled me. I remembered just how mean I had been to him the afternoon before _the incident._

"Sleeping Beauty's finally awake, huh?" He gave me a lopsided smile, running one massive hand through the tangles in my hair.

"Jake, I just want to apologize for being the unpleasant fiend that I was to you yesterd—" He cut me off with an absent-minded wave of his hand.

"Nah, I've already forgotten that episode, Bells. No hard feelings. It's in the past, and what's in the past should be left alone and forgotten."

I stared at him for a moment. There was something to that last statement—a double meaning that he wasn't going to tell me about. I hated being the outsider of an inside joke, but he quickly changed the subject before I could question it.

"Mae brought over some dinner; I can heat it up if you're ready now."

"You're so domestic now," I replied sarcastically. "But I think I'll wait a little bit. I was going to hop in the shower. Do you see the state I'm in?" I pulled at the lumps in my hair as evidence.

"I only see you, Bella. Nothing else." He pulled me closer and I fought back a self-conscious laugh. The intense look in his eyes was making me nothing short of nervous. "You know the way I feel about you." He grinned.

"Thank you," I mumbled and scrambled out of his grasp. "I'll just be ten minutes."

I threw the door closed on his bewildered and amused face and sat down on the end of the bed to steady myself. I had never been caught in this dilemma before. I was in love with two different guys, one that wasn't entirely real—rather a figment of my imagination—and the other who had once been like family. I needed a psychiatrist badly.

On recovering wobbly legs, I raced into the bathroom and turned on the shower faucet. It was loud enough that he could hear, so he'd think I was credible. And he probably wouldn't guess that I was about to sneak out yet again, especially after what happened last night. But I'd made up my mind to seek out danger, and apparently danger preferred me over anyone else, so it shouldn't be that hard of a task.

With only a soft scrape of the window, I managed to evade discovery. And I was outside, the light breeze rustling the leaves and sending my knotted hair flying. It was still light enough that I distinguished the worn path in the trees and headed towards the barn. Anticipation filled me; I was eager to see _him_.


	11. Chapter 11

Ch. 11

Wrong Turns and _Dead_-Ends

Bella:

By no means was I one of those naturally outdoorsy people. Whoever said traipsing around in the mud and grass was fun was sadly mistaken.

I'd finally pushed past the last of the tree branches to see the enclosed barn area right where it should be, shrouded in pale moonlight. When I had started out on what was supposed to be a harmless five minute stroll, it had still been somewhat light outside. Well, that little stroll had turned into a full-scale ordeal about fifteen minutes ago. Obviously, I had been more lost than I thought. Still, I'd been distraught with the possibility that I might have had to sleep out in the woods until someone—most likely a furious Jake—found me. That idea I was not too keen on.

There had been other misfortunes that were worthy of reference. After losing my boot in an unyielding patch of thick mud—and subsequently having to wrestle it out—I was covered in a nice little layer of brown and thoroughly irritated. What also had frustrated me to no end was discovering that I had, to my dismay, walked in a circle three times, completing an arc around the very structure I was looking for. And once I'd realized this, I'd preceded to trip over my feet twice. No doubt, the world was not a safe place for me.

All things considered, I was not a happy camper—no pun intended—and my grand idea to go searching for danger was looking pretty dismal right about now. Even so, I was here, and I had gone through all that trouble, so I was not giving up. I'm a Swan . . . we're stubborn, determined . . . and maybe a little unbalanced, but we're not quitters. I _was_ going to see him tonight; no one could stop me.

I shoved past the barn door, flicking on the lights as I went. Somehow, even with the bright fluorescents and the shuffling of horses' hooves, I still felt uneasy. Like eyes were watching my every move. I shrugged away the nagging feeling and gathered the tack I had ridden with the other day. I glanced at all the startled horses, thinking to myself. If I was intentionally crossing paths with danger, then I should do this the right way. No half-hearted attempt here.

I walked to the far side of the barn, stopping at the last stall. The dark horse jerked his head up, considering me with his uncanny blue eyes. He snorted, turning his rear to me in an unwelcome gesture.

"You don't scare me, Taboo," I informed him. "I know how to woo your kind; I just need a peace offering."

I walked back to the feed room and grabbed a handful of the sticky oats. I knew enough about men to know that if you wanted a favor, you had to entice them with food. Men . . . animals . . . what's the difference? I trudged back to the stall, hopeful that my spur-of-the-moment plan would work.

"Look what I got," I said to the horse in a sing-song tone. It sounded completely ridiculous coming from my lips, but I'd heard tons of people do it to children and animals lots of times, and they didn't sound nearly as stupid as me. Clearly, I needed more practice, for the horse regarded me with narrowed eyes. It was like he seemed to know that I wasn't good with pets. It was partly my fault; I'd only ever had a goldfish once. That had lasted exactly a week, until I'd tripped while carrying the fishbowl, and sent the doomed thing directly down the kitchen sink.

Even if I didn't have that much experience with animals, I knew one thing; you had to be firm, show that you're the boss . . . or at least that's what Jake had said. It sounded simple in theory, but reality was another matter. I would try my best at assuming an authoritative role, but acting had never been my strong suit.

I opened the stall door, approaching him slowly, and held out the offering in my right hand. The horse gave in and accepted the treat, while I quickly set about fastening the halter on him. Glowing with triumph, I led him out to the opening and tied him up, imitating Jake's actions the last time we rode. I had some trouble hoisting the saddle onto the horse's back, but I managed, imagining that I heard Jake's phantom laughter throughout the whole process. Knowing him, he _would _have laughed at my expense.

I was almost through, when I realized a glitch in my plan. I had watched Jake when he was saddling my horse before, but I hadn't paid much attention to how he had tied the straps to secure the saddle. Back in Arizona, there hadn't been a need for Girl Scouts, and now I was wishing that I knew how to tie one of those inescapable knots. My frustration was returning. Why did things never work out the way I wanted them to?

I chewed on my lip for a minute, trying to remember his technique. I wasn't stopping now, though. I grabbed the two straps that were dangling past the horse's stomach and made a feeble attempt at tying the strap to the other buckle.

I led the horse outside and with some difficulty, pulled myself up into the saddle. Gently, I nudged with my heels and he shot forward. I wasn't expecting the sudden speed. I grabbed frantically for the saddle horn, steadying my lurching body. I wasn't sure which direction we were heading, but it didn't matter. I just let him take me wherever.

The cold wind flew past my face, and I quickly grew accustomed to his smooth cadence. I let my eyes drift shut. I didn't need sight; my other senses seemed sharper than usual. Both my sense of smell and hearing were stronger. There was a sweet smell of incense that filled the air, and my ears were focused only on the steady rhythm of the horse and my pulse, which was pumping loudly in response to the exhilaration.

After a minute, his face appeared, just like I thought it would. A mix of emotions played across his stony face—happiness, then confusion, and finally anger.

_What are you doing, Bella? Are you trying to get yourself killed?_ It was a rhetorical question, I knew, but I couldn't help but answer him.

_I had to see you again_, I thought. _I don't know why, but I can't stay away._

He grimaced. _Well, you should._ His voice was hard.

_Why are you being like this?_ I could feel the lump in my throat. I didn't understand him. One minute he was kind; the next, cold.

_Always trying to put yourself in the way of danger. And especially now, when I can't save you. . ._ He was growing more distant, more cold. His tone was so bitter.

I shuddered. _But it's the only way. You're not there unless I do this. You have to help me figure this out._ My voice was growing frantic. I could feel him slipping through my fingertips; it was only a matter of time before he left me, and I wanted to prolong this bittersweet moment. _You're the key, I'm sure of it. Why else would you be here?_

_I don't understand. She's so cryptic._ He rubbed his forehead in obvious confusion.

Now I realized why he seemed so distant and cold. He wasn't talking to me, but to someone else. Someone invisible to my blind eyes. All I saw was him.

_I hate this. The waiting and hoping is unbearable. This is tearing me apart. We have to leave now, _he continued. Now _he_ was being cryptic.

I felt the cadence slow, the rhythm becoming irregular and rough, and I opened my eyes. The thick trees had faded away, leaving nothing but the black sky. I was blind. The sliver of moon was hidden away beneath dark gray clouds, leaving only the stars for light. Everything was silhouetted. There were many dark figures that were unrecognizable in the unrelenting darkness.

The horse stopped suddenly. I peered ahead and realized we were only a few feet from the edge of the cliff, Jacob's cliff. Obviously, he came here often, so the horse knew the route well.

I sat still, peering out into the black sky where the edge of the drop-off was barely visible. It was eerily quiet; my pulse was just a quiet tempo now. But that startlingly sweet aroma was growing even stronger. It tugged at the corners of my mind. I hated this constant confusion. Everything was so vaguely familiar, just beyond the border of recognition.

My mind was wandering again, something that was not uncommon as of lately. This setting struck me as being odd. Was this just a coincidence? Or was this cliff symbolic of my abyss? Strangely, I was beginning to think so. Maybe this was a sign. Maybe the whole time, there had been many signs, but I had failed to take notice. Maybe everyone had omens to warn them, but it depended on the individual to open his or her eyes to them. This whole time I had been blind, entirely oblivious to _my_ signs.

An uneasy feeling crept through me, sending a wave of chills that had nothing to do with the cool night air. This had been a very bad mistake, I could feel it. Suddenly, my illusion's words made sense. He had warned me to stay away from him. He brought danger. It made sense. His cold, distant demeanor was all to drive me away from him, to protect me. And now, I was even more confused. He _was_ the key to unlock my secrets, but I had to stay away from him to protect myself. What a contradictory.

I felt the horse become tense and alert beneath me. He snorted nervously, throwing his ears back and pawing the ground restlessly. I tried calming him, but it was useless. Animals sensed danger a lot quicker than humans. I was lagging behind. I looked around, my eyes darting from one shadow to the next.

Gathering the reigns, I nudged the horse, impatient to return to the cottage. He began walking, but with an unexpected jolt, he stopped. There was a dark shadow in our path that hadn't been there a moment ago.

"Hello again, Bella. I think you know that we need to talk. Now's a perfect time, wouldn't you agree?" Two bright red eyes peered out of the darkness, and I recognized the soft, melodic voice.

The danger I was seeking had found me.

I dug my heels into the horse's flank, and we took off, but suddenly, he was standing before us again. I hadn't seen him move and it was impossible that he could have gotten ahead that fast.

"Who are you?" My voice cracked with fear.

He darted forward again, faster than my eyes could follow. He was only a few feet away, and his pale features were more visible. Taboo pawed the ground again, backing away from him steadily. With a swift move, the stranger was at my side. Taboo reared up, catching me off guard. I fumbled for the saddle horn, but it was hopeless; I could feel the saddle and myself slipping. I landed roughly on the cold, hard ground as he took off toward the trees, leaving me alone with the set of menacing, red eyes.

"Oh, what a pity," he muttered in mock sadness. "He could've been a little precursor to the main entrée. But nowhere near this delicacy that you are, darling." He smiled at me, pulling me to my feet.

"Don't call me that," I replied in disgust, shoving away his cold hands. "Who are you?" I repeated. A loud snarl accompanied my question, but it was meant only for my ears.

He ignored me again. "Don't worry. I'll give you a little time to prepare yourself for dinner. We'll have a little chat beforehand . . . about our dear mutual friend. I must say, though, I'm surprised at how easy you're making this. Sneaking away from the mongrel like that. Twice now. And to think, I thought you were smarter than that. It's sad; you're disappointing me, Bella. Taking away all the fun. But enough with the pleasantries. Come, let's talk."

I had taken several steps backward, so he reached his white hand out to me, motioning with his fingers for me to come closer.

"Bella," he chided, "I can assure you that's not the route you want to take. Those rocks down there would break your pretty little neck in a heartbeat." He nodded towards the edge of the cliff, where I was teetering. I glanced back over my shoulder, shuddering at the thought.

_Don't you dare take a step forward, Bella_, the cold voice snarled. _Don't trust him. Jump, love. You have to jump. Trust me. I'm right there with you._ His growling was deafening, blocking out the stranger's words. Ignoring him, I turned my back. I closed my eyes, tilting my body forward, and let the cold wind rush past me. I was falling. I was plunging off a cliff toward the watery depths below, and I wasn't afraid anymore. He was with me . . . my guardian angel with the piercing red eyes. Eyes that mirrored the stranger's far up above me, but oddly enough, they didn't scare me. He was comforting, even now with his twisted and pained expression and glowing irises.

A calm spread through me. Even the slicing frigid water did nothing to expel the sense of security that he gave me. I could feel a throbbing pain on the back of my head, and I touched it tenderly with my fingertips. The force of the water must have thrown my head back against the rocks, because, sure enough, there was a definite oozing gash. The coldness was already numbing it, though, so I waited for the throbbing to subside.

I opened my eyes to find his beautiful face in the murky blackness surrounding me. The image rippled just like the first time I had seen him, when he had first encroached in my happy place.

_I cannot believe this. It's all my fault. Kick, love. _

_I can't find the surface, though. I don't know which way is up, _I thought helplessly.

_You've got to try. Don't give up. I'm with you,_ he growled.

My lungs were burning for air, and the cold was paralyzing my body. The same dull ache returned, and with the last of my energy, I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to hold the pieces together. I felt broken again, and now I would never be put back together.

And suddenly, there was a flash of a figure bursting through the gloomy waves about a yard away. The form cut through the image of my illusion, and it shattered, disappearing into the black depths, just as two cold, strong arms wrapped around my waist.

As the arms pulled at my lifeless body, a sequence of images played again in my mind, different from the last slideshow. Three cloaked figures with blood-red eyes; the heart-shaped charm on my bracelet; a solar eclipse; the purple flames consuming a field; me stumbling through a giant maze; and last, the meadow from my dream, filled with tiny violet flowers, my illusion and me lying amongst them.

I thought about a segment of my personal slideshow, just an image that had stood out from all the others—the one of the maze. It made sense to me in an odd way. It was just like my life—a series of wrong turns and dead-ends. A labyrinth. Sort of like my jumbled mind, lately. Nothing made sense when you were lost, especially in the folds of your own mind.

The images faded away, replaced by the smooth velvety darkness of my permanent abyss. I sighed in content as I floated along with the undulating water.

And the last thing I heard—a soft voice calling to me, fading away into the darkness, along with my heartbeat.

*****

Jacob:

I looked at the clock over the mantel with irritation. Bella'd said she'd only be ten minutes . . . that was over _thirty minutes_ ago. One thing I would never begin to understand—how women could spend _that_ much time primping.

I pushed myself off the couch and headed into the bedroom. It was just too damn quiet for me not to worry. Something didn't feel right.

The bathroom door was closed, the lights still on, and I could hear the sound of running water. Weird. The living room was right next to the bedroom, but yet, I couldn't hear that. Even weirder—Bella never took that long in the shower.

_Crap. _I didn't even need to knock; I already knew. I threw open the bathroom door. Nothing. She was gone. _Dammit, Bella. _

I slammed the door out of my way and marched back into the bedroom. Just like I thought. The same window was wide open, the curtains fluttering with the wind. Because my body was way too long to try to fit through that small opening, I opted for the door.

I was actually shocked at how dark it was outside. Something was definitely screwed up with me—my heightened hearing and vision were nonexistent. It was like I was just as normal as everyone else. Usually, I could see perfectly at night—the perks of being half-animal—but tonight, it was pitch-black. The thick clouds had the moon covered so well, my own hand was just a faint outline.

At that moment, the sound of heavy footsteps reached my ears. It was coming from the woods, on the other side of the cottage. Great. What a wonderful night for my abilities to go haywire.

I crept around the corner, tensing my body for a potential attack.

"What the. . ." I stepped forward, grabbing Taboo's trailing reigns in my hand and inspecting the saddle that was hanging under his stomach.

That's when I noticed the barn. Lit up so bright with the fluorescents, it would've been hard to miss even a few miles away.

I connected the pieces quickly. A missing, impulsive Bella . . . an abandoned, poorly saddled horse—it spelled disaster. My mind ran over the possibilities. Had she fallen? Obviously. Was she hurt? No doubt.

And then, with a rush that left me reeling from vertigo, my senses flooded back to me as if they had never been gone. Suddenly, I could hear everything. My aunt's voice from her bedroom as she talked on the phone, voices from a crowd having a bonfire down on the beach, and Bella's voice, scared and angry, as she warned "Don't call me that."

She wasn't alone. I could hear _his_ sick words; she was about to become his meal. Disgusting bloodsucker. And I didn't appreciate being referred to as a 'mongrel.'

I hesitated as I listened, hoping to hear any sounds in the background that might tell me where she was.

"Bella, I can assure you that's not the route you want to take. Those rocks down there would break your pretty little neck in a heartbeat." The bloodsucker's voice sent a wave of vibrations down my spine. He had her on the cliff. She would either jump to her death, or satiate his hunger . . . and neither sounded acceptable to me.

Anger ripped through my body like fire, and I took off in a run, concentrating on suppressing the flames. It would do no good to change now. I knew once I switched, it would take a lot of calming down to get me back to human, and I needed to have two hands to save Bella . . . not four paws.

I strained my legs, racing ahead, dodging the tree branches that attempted to take my head off. I reached the edge of the woods, only to see the foul bloodsucker standing on the edge of the cliff, staring down at the waves. My pulse throbbed harder in my ears. She had done it.

The leech whirled around, hissed at me, and then darted off in the other direction, gone in a second. Without thinking, I ran and dove straight off the cliff. I could see the jagged rocks pointing threateningly at my face as I rushed closer to the black waves. The thought crossed my mind just before the water engulfed me that we would probably both die. It was all in vain.

Even with a body temperature close to a hundred-ten degrees Fahrenheit, the water was just a bit uncomfortable for me. I felt a stabbing, sharp pain on my lower back and realized I'd sliced my skin open on a rock during the fall. It was a searing pain, but it'd be healed in no time. Probably leave a pretty nasty scar, though. I wondered how Bella'd fared. I'd had a running start when I'd jumped and still cut myself on the rocks, but she had just stepped right off the cliff. It would be sheer luck if she managed to evade the rocks.

I scowled. I couldn't see anything, and the near-freezing water was slowly draining my energy. I fought my way to the surface, sucking in air, and then plunged back under. The water had almost a green tint to the murky blackness, giving it a creepy feeling. It was completely still down here. Even if she was in the water, there would still be bubbles as the air escaped from her lungs. But there was nothing.

I swam a short ways and then broke the surface again. My legs and arms were burning from the cold—what a paradox. I hadn't thought I could be so bothered by it, but the numbness was spreading fast. Too fast.

A darting shadow of movement caught my eye on the sand. A tall figure was sprinting up the shore, a limp silhouette dangling in his arms. I had another surge of energy and made it to the shore within moments.

"Bella!" I heard my voice crack with emotion as I realized she wasn't breathing. "Get off of her!" I shoved Walker aside, leaning over her motionless body. I rubbed her cold face and hands, trying to warm her.

"Jake, she's not breathing. I've got to do mouth-to-mouth. You have to move." Walker's voice was quiet with seriousness. I stared at him and then stumbled out of his way.

He put his mouth on her blue lips, forcing two breaths into her. I watched in distress as her chest rose and fell rhythmically, but she made no sound. He waited a second, then forced two more breaths down her throat. She made a soft sputtering sound. She coughed and gasped, a stream of water pouring from her parted lips. Her eyelids fluttered open, and she glanced back and forth between both of us.

I sighed, pulling her shivering body in my arms. "Oh, Bella . . . Don't _ever_ do that again!" I forced my voice between clenched teeth; it sounded husky and strained, and she peered up at me with an odd expression.

"It's okay, Jake; he said it wasn't my time." She looked around, her forehead wrinkled in confusion. "Where did he go? Why did he just leave?" She whispered.

I looked at Walker and then back at Bella. "Who, Bells? It's just the two of us."

"No, where did _he_ go? The one who saved me. . ." She closed her eyes as if to remember and sucked in a ragged breath.

"Bells, honey, Walker's right here. He's the one who pulled you out. He saved you." I frowned with irritation, turning to him. "You know this still doesn't atone for what you did. So don't think you're off the hook."

He looked at me with a puzzled expression. "I didn't pull her out, Jake. I thought she swam to shore and then just"—he shrugged—"passed out. All _I_ did was carry her farther away from the waves."

Bella's eyes shot open. "Not possible . . . There was someone else"—gasp—"in the water. I was dying"—gasp—"I know I was . . . There was no way I could swim."

I brushed her matted hair back away from her face. There was something sticky on my fingers; I glanced down, and in the dim light I could see a dark stain on my hand. Blood. Bella's blood.

She obviously had a concussion. It wasn't possible that there'd been anybody else in that water. I hadn't seen a single person except Walker. And if he claimed that he hadn't saved her, then she must have swam to shore herself. Maybe the waves carried her back. It seemed skeptical, but there was no other explanation. Or _was _there?

I lifted her gently, cradling her as close to my body as possible, hoping that my warmth would stop her trembling. She buried her face in my neck, and in a second she was fast asleep, snoring softly. Walker sauntered along beside me, consumed with his thoughts. Neither of us knew what to say. Finally, I broke the silence.

"You didn't see anyone else?"

"No,"—he hesitated—"Hey, Jake?"

"Huh."

"That stuff you were telling me about? It really is true, isn't it?"

My eyes darted over to him. "Of course. I wouldn't lie."—only sometimes, when necessity required it—"Why?"

"Well, I think I might have seen someone, or rather _something_ else tonight."

I stopped dead in my tracks. "What? Start from the beginning."

He stopped and turned. "I was walking along the beach and I hear this loud splash. At first I didn't think anything of it. Just thought it was the waves and all. Then I hear another one . . . And a minute later, I see this guy emerge from the water, carrying something—Bella. It was weird. I didn't even make a noise, but all of the sudden, it was like he knew I saw him. He turned around, glared at me with these red eyes, and then set her down. He was gone so fast that I wasn't even sure if I had been imagining it . . . But I don't think so. Jake, if your description of _them_ was true, then I think what saved Bella wasn't entirely human."—He looked up at me.—"This guy had the whitest skin I've ever seen. But those eyes . . . that was just creepy."—He shook his head back and forth.—"And then, I hear another splash, which was obviously you, and I went to pull her out of the water. That's it."

I began walking, much faster this time, heading back to the cottage. This wasn't good. Not good at all. Two vamps now. At least I knew it wasn't Edward, but still. Who was the other one? And why didn't he attack Walker or Bella when he had the perfect chance?

I inhaled the pungent air. It still reeked like the stranger's had. No difference, although I wasn't sure if there would be _one_ or if I could even tell. It didn't seem any stronger, but that could just be because I was growing used to it, being around the stench for so long.

Bella moaned softly. I glanced down at her; her eyes were still closed, and she looked peaceful. A slight smile had the corners of her lips turned up.

"I love you, my beautiful illusion," she whispered in her sleep.

I frowned. What did _that_ mean? I waited for more, but nothing else came.

I reached the house and led the way into the bedroom. I quickly got Bella wrapped up in blankets and turned the heat up full blast. This would kill me, but oh well. I threw myself down on the chair beside the bed and motioned for Walker to sit down also.

"Look, I know you don't want to be a part of any of this—I was the same way—but it's in your blood. There's no getting around it. So listen up. Apparently, there's two bloodsuckers here, both with the intention of killing Bella, so you're gonna have to do what I say. At least until I can get her out of here. You need to know the rules of being a werewolf—I tried to tell you earlier, but you were being pigheaded."

He groaned. "What is this, Werewolf 101?"

"Precisely."

*****

Edward:

How I loved dead-ends. Two plane tickets to Florida and nothing. Just a waste of time that I didn't have.

It astounded me that Jacob Black could make a fool of me. The boy was good, I'd give him that. But never had anyone deceived me like that before. It was actually rather predictable—being right under my nose the entire time. Clever, on his part; unsuspecting, on mine. I was not pleased with the fact that I had been duped by a mere boy of . . . sixteen, was it? My memory failed me.

With a century of dealing with juveniles like him, I could easily predict their every move—even without the assistance of my special talent. Generally, being a witness to someone else's thoughts and feelings allowed me to understand them far better than I cared to. If I was so inclined, I could have even assumed their personality altogether, much like assuming a role in a play. Or an even simpler analogy—identity theft, but in the more literal sense. I could have imitated with ease anyone I wanted.

Particularly the adolescents. They were all painfully the same. Like cardboard cutouts. No varying degrees of difference. I couldn't envision being like one of them, impervious to new thoughts and ideas. I supposed society had a hand in modeling them into the uniform, shallow, and unoriginal adolescents that they were. No one desired to be distinct, separate from the lot. They all simply wanted to 'fit in.' To mesh. Drawing attention was bad, so they all thought alike, dressed alike . . . absolutely no originality. Bella and Jacob were the two exceptions. With Bella, I'd had to grow used to the idea that I would never be able to quite understand her. She constantly surprised me. But Jacob Black was even worse. His mind was completely opened to me, but yet, I still was unable to figure him out. I suspected that the reason I couldn't predict his future thoughts and actions was due in part to his restless nature. He never knew himself what he was about to do; everything was always a hasty decision with no regard to the ramifications. The absence of his enlightening thoughts over the past few days made it particularly difficult for me. I had tried to step into his shoes, to get a feel for his character. I thought maybe then I could foresee where he had taken Bella. I'd concluded that he would have gone to Florida. My reasoning: Jacob would have thought that I'd suspect him to stay close by in hopes of misleading me, thus, Florida _would_ have been the destination. I had thoroughly believed my logic, but he had fooled me completely. He had caught me unaware by _actually_ staying close to Forks. Apparently, he could read me better than I could read him. And that was unsettling and perturbing.

Alice and I had arrived back in town after our little detour, close to nightfall. There was only one other possibility left—Long Beach, to the inn that Jacob's aunt owned. After having been fooled once, I was more than sure that this was the place.

We had been prepared to leave immediately, but it had happened. Another vision. One was shocking enough. But two? I hadn't been expecting that. What was happening? I had racked my brain for possible reasons as to why Bella's future was randomly opening up to us. Previously, I'd thought Jacob had died, but that obviously wasn't so. Fate must be stepping in, tearing them apart, and then thrusting them back together again, intermingling her future with the werewolf.

Just like the last time, the vision had been dark and hazy, but it was clear what was happening. The same wave of emotions overtook me as I thought back over the scene.

_It was after sundown. Bella was on a horse. And they were galloping through the woods. The first thing I noticed was her eyes. Closed. What an impetuous and reckless thing to do. That had started the anger pulsing through my veins._

_I turned to the wall, leaning my hand on it for support. "What are you doing, Bella? Are you trying to get yourself killed?" My voice was acidic; it alarmed Emmett as he strode into the room. _

_"Hey, what's up with Edward? He's acting unusual," he asked Jasper in a quiet voice. _

_"Seems pretty normal to me. I've gotten used to his weird antics. No surprise there." Rosalie sneered, gliding up next to Emmett with a smirk on her cold face. _

_"Enough, Rose. Alice is having another vision," Carlisle filled them in, concern in his voice. I read in his thoughts that he was worried about what kind of reaction this vision would elicit from me. I would try to remember to remain calm, but that seemed kind of pointless. I knew Bella's latest behavior was going to irritate me._

_I could hear her voice with clarity. There was no such hope for seeing her face, however. It was just too dark. "I had to see you again. I don't know why, but I can't stay away."_

_I frowned. Who was she talking to? The vision was centered on only her; was there someone else with her? Certainly it had to be Jacob. I felt a wave of jealousy wash over me, much like the days when the obnoxious Mike Newton had trailed after her, making his intentions well-known. _

_"Well, you should," I replied bitterly in response to her. I wished she _would_ stay away from him, but I had no control over that. _

_ I waited to hear her companion's reply, but there was only her voice. That frustrated me. I wanted to know his response, to know if he returned her affection. Wretched visions—they never cooperated. I knew it wasn't Alice's fault, but still, it bothered me that her ability was wasted sometimes. _

_"Why are you being like this?" Bella sounded hurt. Almost on the verge of tears. Just wonderful. What had that _dog_ said to her? I swear, he was severely lacking in manners. Of course, that was the custom with these youngsters. Etiquette and propriety were only found in my generation, which was, well, obsolete. Apart from me. _

_I watched as she continued to ride, completely blind, while the horse dodged tree after tree. Her hand was white from gripping the saddle horn so tight. What was the reason behind her behavior? Why was she closing her eyes even when I could tell she was frightened? Most people preferred to watch when they were in a situation like that. But then again, this _was _Bella. I recalled how she always closed her eyes when I ran with her. Maybe it was just the speed. I suppose it made sense to her. But it still annoyed me. _

_"Always trying to put yourself in the way of danger. And especially now, when I can't save you. . ." I muttered mostly to myself, but I knew the others could hear me. How I hated having no privacy around _my kind.

_Bella again looked unhappy, and it made my heart ache. "But it's the only way. You're not there unless I do this. You have to help me figure this out . . . You're the key, I'm sure of it. Why else would you be here?" Her voice was rising, becoming more hysterical. _

_I hated it. I hated not knowing everything that was happening in her life. Not being there to comfort her. She was hurting for some unknown reason, and it killed me to watch. What had that mutt done to her?_

_I pushed away from the wall, turning back to the skeptical eyes of my family—except Rosalie, who was ogling a fashion magazine. "I don't understand. She's so cryptic."_ _I started pacing back and forth, watching Alice's frozen face. "I hate this. The waiting and hoping is unbearable. This is tearing me apart. We have to leave now."_

_Then she gasped. All eyes darted to her, even Rosalie, who was suddenly bored with her magazine. _

_I focused in on her vision and began to run, making a dash for the door. Dread filled my entire body, sending a new flood of venom pulsating through me. He was there with her. Felix. He had found her. I started to shake with hatred; the yearning to rip him apart was too much for me to handle. Too much emotion. Like Carlisle had said, when our kind experiences such deep feelings, it just changes us. I could feel myself changing, too. It had happened when I'd fallen in love with Bella. The rest of my family had said the same about their significant other. But this was different. That change had made me a better person . . . a better person for Bella. But this . . . it was the same feeling as when I'd been a newborn. My desires were changing. I was changing. I could feel the new flood of desire bubbling beneath my marble skin, coursing along with the venom. The desire to kill. _

_"Don't you dare take a step forward, Bella_," _I snarled_. _"Don't trust him. Jump, love. You have to jump. Trust me. I'm right there with you." And I almost was. It was about a two hour drive, but for me, only a few minutes. _

_With a growl, I forced my legs to take longer strides. I'd always been the fastest runner; I only hoped I was fast _enough._ She probably had only five minutes, and I was at least three minutes from the cliff. Would I make it? _

_I used the spreading venom as fuel, feeding my energy and power, but also my temper. I didn't need to look at my reflection to know what I would find—the face of a monster, my golden eyes replaced with the glowing red embers of a tormented, burning man. _

I shook my head violently, trying to erase that image. It had to be stopped. I couldn't turn into _that_ again.

I stared down at my clenched fist and struggled to control my temper. My face must have betrayed me, because suddenly Alice was kneeling in front of me, her hands on either side of my face.

"Edward, she's fine. Look at me. You have to stay in control. Bella is safe now. She's with Jacob. He'll protect her." Her voice was soothing, kind, and I tried to concentrate on what she was saying, but I kept on hearing fragments of her anxious thoughts.

"Can you try to hide your thoughts? At least about _that_?" It took a great effort to keep my voice steady.

"Sorry," she mumbled. I immediately felt the shift in direction of her thoughts. It was a lighter subject, something less controversial.

I closed my eyes, recalling Bella's scent, the feel of her in my arms, her heartbeat slowly fading away. That had been a tough decision to make—whether to just let her die and change her myself, or give her back to Jacob. It had been a tough decision to make, but my heart had ultimately made it for me. I couldn't think of changing her, forcing her to spend an eternity with me, if she had already chosen the one she wanted. How could I have taken her choice away from her? My love for her had ultimately won. I wanted what was best for her and that obviously was Jacob Black. Though, he didn't seem to do a good job taking care of her.

Alice and I had arrived in Long Beach the very moment she disappeared off the cliff. I'd heard Jacob's thoughts and I knew he was coming, but he wasn't going to make it in time. He had still been too far away. My ears had singled out his heavy footsteps deep in the woods, still about a mile from the cliff. He was fast, but not fast enough. I couldn't wait for him to save her. I had gone in after her.

Even when I had found her, she had been sinking. Her pulse had been weak; her body cold and stiff. I had been losing her.

I'd almost reached the shore when Jacob had dived in, frantically searching for her. And then I'd seen him. A figure walking towards us, and I couldn't risk it. I'd had to leave. It had been one of the hardest things I would ever do—leaving her while she was on the brink of death. But I could hear this stranger's thoughts; I knew he'd save her.

Nevertheless, that didn't expunge the pain I was feeling. My mind was unfaithful; it constantly played the images one by one, over and over, until I was fervently trying to pull out my hair. It never ceased. I wished there was some escape for me. I wished I could lose consciousness, drift off into a deep sleep where my troubles couldn't bother me. Better yet, I wished mine was a fairy-tale life, not this nightmare. I wished I had a happy ending with Bella. But no one ever gets what they most desire. Like I said, how I love dead-ends.


	12. Chapter 12

Ch. 12

Love Is For Fools

Bella:

My mom used to tell me _"Life is whatever you make it, Bella. Only you can decide where it takes you."_ Most of the time, she would say that right after she'd gotten us lost, because she had simply 'misplaced' the road map—_"Maps are overrated anyway, honey. It's not how you get there that matters, just the place you're going."_

I'd always chosen to believe Renee. It sounded exciting, and she had always told me the truth, so why not trust her? I had always believed her, until now. She was wrong on this one. I hadn't decided on this course. I didn't have a say in where my life took me. It just decided for me. If I'd had a choice, I never would have sanely chosen the path that led me to my death. No, I didn't believe her on that one. Life doesn't let you choose; life is cruel and takes away your freedom to make decisions.

The throbbing in my head grew stronger, clouding my thoughts, making it harder to think.

Wasn't death supposed to be peaceful, quiet—there was an incessant whooshing noise—and painless? Had life taken away that option, too? Or was this another cruel joke—to make me suffer even in death. Well, I sure wasn't laughing.

And what kind of a setting was this? A forest? Surrounded by the same lush greenery that I had despised upon my arrival in Forks. Was this the other part of the joke? To stick me in my own hell? It had been my hell in real life and now it would forever stay that way. That didn't seem fair.

I thought heaven was whatever you wanted it to be. So where was the stifling heat, the arid brown scenery of Arizona, the relentless orange sun? Why was it instead damp, cloudy, and cold? And green . . . yes, definitely must be hell. But wasn't there supposed to be a long tunnel with a light at the end, a glowing white robed figure signally which stairs to take, either up or down? Where was he? And the stairs? Why didn't I even get a chance to argue my case? Why was it straight to the basement for me? I hadn't ever been _that_ bad.

And then it started to pour—thick, blinding, stinging rain that numbed my skin with its icy touch. I didn't think hell could get any worse. Boy, was I wrong.

There was a sharp pinch and more pain in my right arm. Then, my head started to pound even worse. What . . . is there like one of those voodoo dolls of me being handed out to everyone in the world? Are they driving nails through me? Having a herd of horses trample my delicate little doll head? Tossing me on the world's worst roller coaster so the nausea will send me over the edge? Oh, wait . . . I'd already managed to do that. Just wonderful. Maybe this _was_ all my doing after all.

And then voices followed the pain. Jacob and someone else. I didn't recognize the voice.

"She's going to be okay, right? I mean, the worst part's over with, so she should be fine." Jacob's voice, husky with emotion, reached my ears. It sounded like I was in a tunnel.

"She should be, yes, but I still want to keep an eye on her. I've got to monitor her vitals for awhile. She took a pretty bad fall. Tripped you say?" The other voice, the unfamiliar one, sounded skeptical.

"Bella's always been clumsy," Jacob muttered quickly. "What was that you just gave her?"

"The injection? Just a low dose of some pain medicine. And this is to help her sleep." I felt another stab in the crease in my elbow. _Now who's got the doll? They better fear for their life._

"I have everything set up, Doctor. Ready to stitch her up? " Another voice this time, a woman's voice.

"Yeah, the pain medication's probably kicked in by now. Hand me that, please."

The throbbing was slowly becoming a dull ache, but there was a new sensation now—like someone was steadily tugging on my skin. It didn't really hurt, but it wasn't a pleasant feeling either. It was piercing me and then drawing back again and again. This had to stop.

And I got my wish—one by one, the voices faded away along with the rhythmic tugging at the back of my head. The forest started to fade, too. It continued to fold in on itself, blackness taking over. It was becoming a tunnel, and at the end, there was a light. Not the bright, white light that I was expecting, but a dim, green glow. Just a tiny dot on the horizon. I clung to that dot as my world swirled around me. It reminded me of something—_The Great Gatsby,_ another one of those classics that I'd read a handful of times.

Strange as it was, I was like Gatsby, staring off into the unknown, wishing for that one dot to come closer, wanting something that was completely unattainable. That dot signified heaven for me, and I knew what would be waiting for me there—_him._ My beautiful illusion. He was Daisy to my Gatsby. It's funny how much I mirrored fictional characters. And now I was like Gatsby—always trying to become someone I wasn't, just to capture the heart of another. He had died trying, and so had I.

And then I remembered. The cold, strong arms wrapping around me. The icy lips forcing a single breath of air into my aching lungs. The feel of the waves thrashing against my legs, the coarse sand beneath me, as he'd growled those words in my ear "It's not your time, love. Don't you leave me. Keep fighting. . ." He had jerked away suddenly, as if startled. I remembered, because, despite the frigid air and waves, I'd longed for his cold body against mine. If only for a second. His coldness had been replaced by sweltering heat. Not one, but two fiery bodies within inches of me, forcing the life back into me.

Jacob. My Jacob. My best friend, the boy who loved me more than life itself. I was sure that what I was feeling for him was real. He made me flustered and nervous to the point where I couldn't think straight, but also happy and angry and irritated all at the same time. But he always made me smile. And laugh—even when I didn't want him to know that I'd lost, that I couldn't stay mad with him, that I couldn't keep a straight face no matter how hard I tried. It was infuriating, but amusing, simultaneously. That was _my_ Jacob.

But I couldn't deny these other feelings. The ones that were making me feel I was crazy for thinking I was in love with a figment of my imagination. I knew I'd truly lost it. I was so far down in the abyss that I couldn't even see the top. But strangely, that didn't matter. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew he had to be real. I couldn't just create something, someone, so vivid, so tangible. I'd felt him with my own fingers. Surely dreams like that couldn't be just_ fabricated_.

I wanted to believe he was real. I wanted to with everything I had in me, but I still felt foolish. I felt foolish for thinking I loved someone who appeared only in my dreams. I felt foolish for not loving Jacob enough, for not completely giving one-hundred percent of myself to him. I felt foolish for being in love, period. Love messed with your head, and that was the last thing I needed.

And so I clung to that thought as the blackness overwhelmed me, the hazy green dot of hope slipping farther from my reach. The last thing I saw—a black robed figure stalking towards me, the green glow creating a halo around his masked head. _How odd._ I'd thought the angel would've been in a white robe.

*****

Jacob:

"Jake, why don't you take a rest. I'll stay with her until you get back." I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, shaking me gently. It jarred me from my light sleep.

"No, I'm good. I'm not going to leave her again. Something bad always happens when I leave her," I replied. It was true and it pained me to admit it out loud.

"You've fallen, man. Hard." He laughed and shook his head.

I turned toward his voice, scowling. "What are you talking about, Walker?" I didn't even try to hide the fatigue in my tone. I was tired. I could feel it in my bones.

"I'm talking about love. You've gone and fallen in love with a girl who can never love you back. They always say to never fall for the princesses. 'Cause _you're_ definitely not her frog."

He laughed again, and I stared straight ahead. Too bad I was way too tired to get out of this chair. I knew I would later regret not socking him once in the gut. Oh well. There'd be many opportunities for that in the future.

Bella moaned softly, drawing my gaze. I hated it, but Walker was probably right. I'd never admit that, though. And I was going to work my ass off to see that he wasn't.

I knew that she and I were right for each other. I had always known. But when would she realize? It was killing me, the waiting. I had been patient with her in the past, and it was running thin.

I'm a typical teenage boy—I just want immediate gratification.

But that was never the case with Bella. We were such opposites sometimes. She was, for the most part, responsible, never rash. I guess that's why we're so perfect for each other. Opposites attract, right?

I thought back over her recent, uncharacteristic behavior. I'd seen it before. After Edward had left her. I wondered if there was a connection. I hoped there wasn't. Could it be that she still loved him, but didn't know? Nah, couldn't be. But what was it exactly about that bloodsucker that drew her to him? Once again, chess. Didn't understand it; didn't care to.

Another thing that was like chess—this imprinting business. A load of crap's what it is. Seriously, who thought of that? With love, you already don't get a say in who you fall for. Your heart controls all that. But then to just yank away the small bit of freedom and choice a guy had—ugh, just wrong. Didn't apply to me though. I'd found the one I wanted, my choice, and I sure as hell wasn't gonna let some freaky theoretical thing like imprinting take her away. Besides, I didn't ever see it happening to me. And if it did, I'd just laugh. There's no way that you can just feel compelled to love someone for eternity that you didn't pick. No way. Too creepy. 'S just not right.

And that got me thinking about the possibilities. What if fate dealt me a pretty crappy hand? What if the person I was supposed to end up with was so incompatible, so wrong for me, that it was pure misery? I knew I had it coming. I knew karma was out there somewhere, lurking in a dark corner, just waiting for me to be unaware. But I wasn't letting my guard down, oh no. I'd done some stuff I knew was wrong, sure, but I wasn't really ready to repay my debt.

Even the word, imprinting, sounds like pain and misery. Think about it. If you didn't get to pick, then it could be _anyone_. So who determines who ends up with the poor guy? Or was it just something that was decided from day one? Imprinting—sounds like maybe it'd be imbedded in your DNA or something. That sucks. So there really was no avoiding it. 'S like arranged marriage, but even worse. Ha, if I could only be that lucky. I'd take my father's pick over my DNA's any day. At least there wouldn't be the element of surprise. And I fully agreed with who Billy'd pick . . . 'cause I'd already picked her.

Guess I'd have to just run away with Bella and hide from anyone with xy chromosomes. Wait . . . Eww. What if it was . . . No. That would be just wrong. Fate couldn't be that mean. But, you never know. Just to be safe, let me rephrase: I'd have to run away with her and hide from_ all_ of mankind. I wasn't particularly attracted to the 'y' chromosome, if you get my drift. Yes, safety precautions are good. I wouldn't mind it, anyway—being all alone with her, with no one to bother us. Hmm, sounds like my kind of heaven.

I looked back over at Walker, who was sitting there all smug and what not. What did he know about love, anyway? He wasn't exactly the die-hard Romeo type. Nah, he liked to love 'em and leave 'em. A heartbreaker through and through. But he _was_ right—I had fallen for her and fallen hard. I just didn't think she realized to what extent. But she would, soon.

I touched the cool metal of the ring in my jeans' pocket. Every day I stuffed it in my pocket, just hoping and waiting for the opportune moment. And every day, it passed me by. But there was a new feeling in the air, almost like electricity. Call it anticipation or eagerness or whatever, but it was there. Yeah, I could feel it. The opportune moment was just around the corner.

I let a grin creep across my face. I felt dizzy with excitement. Giddy, almost, though I was pretty sure that word was only acceptable for girls to use. I felt kind of foolish, feeling this way. Like Elvis had said, only fools rush in. And I was definitely a fool in love.

*****

Edward:

"Why don't you just go confront her, Edward? This is stupid. What exactly are we waiting on?"

Alice was leaning back against a tree trunk, staring up at the sky in boredom. I knew because it was all too prevalent in her thoughts. Mixed with my own tedium, it was overwhelming. But I was used to having to endure others' thoughts and feelings; I'd come up with a remedy—recite passages from some of my favorite literature to keep the babbling at bay. It would sound daunting to regular humans, but for someone who was incapable of sleep, it was a hobby, a diversion. It had been working quite nicely, until Alice had spoken aloud, throwing me off my carefully practiced rhythm—the only way to properly memorize Shakespeare was to master the flowing cadence of iambic pentameter.

"I don't intend to confront her because Bella has a guilt-ridden mind. If I did that, it would be very likely that she'd feel awful for the pain she inflicted on me and come back to me."

"Then what's stopping you? Isn't that what you want?"

I sighed. Sometimes I wished she could just read _my_ mind. How often did I have to explain myself when it seemed so obvious?

"Not if it's for the wrong reason. I want Bella to choose the right one for her; I don't want for her to feel forced or obligated to go with me out of guilt. If she truly loves Jacob, then I won't object. But I want to know for sure that she does. I won't leave here until I've witnessed it with my own eyes."

I kept my gaze locked on a distant tree, just as I did at school when concentrating on the tiny cracks in the wall. How many hours had I wasted spending time on trivial, mundane things—all to appear normal, just like the other humans. I was constantly trying to be someone I was not. Like Jay Gatsby, I already had the money, that was insignificant, unimportant. It was the girl I really longed for. And I was persistently trying to mold myself into the right man for her. But then again, wasn't that typical for all of men—attempting to please women and failing miserably.

"You know, for a pretty intelligent guy, Edward, you're not very intuitive."

I looked at her. "And why is that?"

"Don't you see? Bella loves you. She would die for you . . . and she almost has."—Her thoughts jumped to the first cliff diving incident, and then on to Italy and the Volturri.—"I know you remember that, so how can you have any doubt? I don't. She might be fond of Jacob, but it's just an infatuation. It's nowhere near the love she has for you. Can't you see that? So what're you waiting for? Go pulverize the little punk of a pup and rescue her." Alice's bubbly voice did little to lift my spirits.

"Despite your fervent attempts at advice, I think I'll go with my own and wait. I like to be positively sure about what I'm doing beforehand."

"Whatever, Edward." She made a face, sticking her tongue out at me, and crossed her arms. "Fine. At least tell me how the reception is . . . Are you getting anything useful?"

"Very clear, which is both good and bad. But I don't particularly like being in Jacob Black's head all the time. It's almost as bad as Bella's other odious admirers back in Forks. He has a vivid imagination," I said bitterly, my lip curling up slightly. " But nothing useful, as of yet. Just droning on and on incessantly about his distaste for imprinting. Rather dull and uninteresting."

"Uh-huh. Well then, I'm thirsty. Are you thirsty?" She sprang to her feet. I could sense her need for distraction and entertainment. Alice was like an ADD child in class.

"Not really," I muttered.

_Yeah, okay. Stubborn as a mule,_ Alice thought sarcastically as she skipped off into the trees, humming a familiar tune to herself.

That was a lie, and Alice realized it. She knew me too well. Of course I was thirsty. It _had_ been close to four days now, but it didn't interest me enough. I could feel the hunger clawing at my throat, but I ignored it. I wanted to be able to concentrate on Jacob's thoughts. I wanted to see everything he was seeing, feel everything he was feeling, in hopes that he would reveal what I most ardently desired to know—whether Bella really loved him.

Being in his mind would also give me access to her. I didn't want to miss one moment, one second, of her life. I didn't want to miss a single smile, a single tear, a single laugh. I just wanted to absorb it all, every little detail. It was like oxygen to a drowning man, food for the starving. I inhaled it all, anything and everything, and it just barely kept the demons at bay.

I watched as he held her hand beside the bed. I could feel the fragility, the warmness of her small hand. I saw her disheveled, but still beautiful, face as the image lingered in Jacob's mind. I felt a pang of jealousy again, as I longed to be the one sitting there with her, coaxing her back to health.

Then the tone of his thoughts changed. They were dripping with annoyance and exasperation now. He was getting kicked out of her room—apparently, the doctor needed to assess her in private. I smiled to myself. Finally, she was alone.

I slowly hauled myself to my feet. These past few days had been draining, both emotionally and physically, which I hadn't thought possible for someone like me. It probably didn't help that I refused to eat. I felt weaker, like my strength and energy had been stripped away, but that still didn't persuade me to hunt.

I inhaled deeply—it was a mixture of werewolf stench, vampire venom, and Bella's deliriously intoxicating scent. But the strongest was Jacob. He was close; he was making his way toward the little barn in the clearing, still irritated at having been forced to leave Bella.

In only a minute, I was standing at the fringe of the forest, the thick trees offering concealment. But he already knew I was there. He had stopped dead in his tracks.

I took a single step out into the clearing. "Hello, Jacob," I said quietly. I knew he could hear me, though he didn't turn to face me.

I was thoroughly enjoying this moment. The look of dread in his expression, the pale green tint that had followed after the color had drained from his face, his erratic thoughts of doom—they all brought a smile to my lips. It's rather humorous that Jacob Black would be the one to elicit the first amusement I've had in days.

He turned slowly, and we regarded each other with wary eyes. I watched as the fierce trembling broke out in portions of his body and waited patiently while he berated himself silently.


	13. Chapter 13

Ch. 13

Confrontation

Jacob:

Oh yeah, karma's a bitch. She obviously just likes to watch me squirm. I turned slowly toward the sound of his voice and squirm I did. My body responded in violent convulsions, and for a moment, I thought it was all over. I was going to let the tremors take over my body, give in to my instinct, and fight. Fight for myself, fight for her. But then a little thought buried itself in my mind; it might not be over. This might not be the end. I was going to continue with this little game, until I knew for sure.

I was facing him now. It was like one of those bad western movies, complete with the cowboy showdowns and all, only minus the western part. Toss in the supernatural, and you had Edward and me staring down each other.

I could see every hidden pain, sorrow, and anguish under his stone-like expression. It made me happy, bringing my own lopsided grin to my face, as I thought about his relationship with karma as well. Finally, he was getting a share of the pain I'd had to deal with on so many occasions. Just for a little entertainment, I ran an image through my mind—one of Bella with her arms thrown around my neck, kissing me like there was no tomorrow. Good times, good times. I started to dig up another, equally as entertaining for me, but he held up a hand.

"Stop. Please, stop," he almost choked. "I didn't come here to do this, Jacob. I didn't come to fight with you, or join in your childish antics. I just came for her, to make sure she's safe."

"What—you don't think I can take care of the girl I love? C'mon, Edward, don't pretend like you've never let Bells get hurt. I can recall plenty of times; do you want a replay? I can pull them up from the archives, too."

His face twisted, and I swear that I saw his eyes light up with red. "I'm not going to deny it. I haven't always been the safest choice for Bella, but I love her, with every mutated cell in my body. I've said it before, Jacob, and I'll stick to my promise, _I_ can be noble. I just want Bella to be happy. I won't make her choose between the two of us, but I do want to know if she truly loves you. That's why I'm here. And if she does, then I'll go away and leave the two of you be."

"Okay, here's your proof then." I made up some elaborate image of Bella and me, not leaving much to the imagination. "Now ready to say your goodbyes?"

He continued to stare at me, but his face was as hard and cold as marble. I didn't get the enjoyment of watching some more of his anguish. I was tempted to keep going, dust off my other old fantasies and watch _him _squirm, but he cut me off.

His face slowly curled into a smirk. He clapped his hands twice, the sound echoing in the little clearing, and took a step forward. "That was good, Jacob, but next time, do attempt to make your fantasies more realistic, a little less vixen Bella. So if you don't mind, I'll be staying around for awhile." He smiled.

"Suit yourself, bloodsucker. It'll give you enough time to sort through all my fantasies and figure out which ones are, in fact, reality. Oh, and did it ever occur to you, that maybe Bella _is_ more of a vixen with me, because she doesn't have to hold herself back? She can just let herself go." I grinned, thinking of probably the most scandalous of my fantasies.

With a rush of air, Edward was an inch away from my face, his hand cupping my throat. He had me pinned against the side of the barn, and I could feel something digging into my back—the jagged pieces of wood that were split all along the old structure. Probably would get a splinter. But I wasn't about to move; I was enjoying this too much.

"Huh, so the leech does know how to fight. That's interesting. And for awhile there, I'd thought you were just all talk. Darn, guess I was wrong."

He was a few inches shorter than me, so I could barely see his face, but then he tilted his head, staring me directly in the eye.

I frowned and then smirked. "Returned to the old habits, Edward? That's probably not in your best interest. I'm sure the pack's not too happy with your breach of the contract. But then, why do I care?"

"There has been no breach on our side, dog. This is what happens when knaves like you test my patience," He growled, pointing with one long, white finger to his blood red irises.

"Do you really expect me to believe that? I'm not that stupid. Once a monster, always a monster. So c'mon, fight me." My body was tensed and ready; I had been waiting on this day for far too long.

He hissed, released his deadly grip on my neck, and stepped back a few paces. "I'm not going to fight you, Jacob. It wouldn't help anything to hurt Bella," he muttered. It seemed like he'd gained control of himself, but I wasn't letting my guard down just yet.

I stepped away from the barn, rubbing my throat where his icy touch still loitered. It gave me chills; it was like having an entire ant farm crawling all over you. I rubbed harder.

"Who said it would hurt _Bells_ when I kill you?" I emphasized my pet name for her, knowing it bothered Edward.

He turned, glaring at me. "It would be a fair fight. And I wasn't implying that I would necessarily kill you, or vice versa, just that our fighting would hurt _Bella_. Besides, there's two of us against one of you. Do you really want to test your luck?"

"Sure, I could take two of you while blindfolded. Who did you bring, anyway? Carlisle? Emmett? That would be a welcome challenge."

"Guess again, mutt," a chirpy voice sang from over to my left. Alice.

I looked at Edward. "Are you serious? That's like _too_ easy."

"_Excuse _me? Just because I'm a girl—" Alice started to say.

"Alice, there isn't going to be any fights," Edward warned.

I cocked my ear to the right, listening to the doctor's newest evaluation of Bella. "Well, it's been fun, but I have to go now. Bella's awake. I _would_ give her your best wishes, but she probably doesn't care."

"Wait, Jacob. . ." Edward took a step forward.

"I really don't have the time. _We've_ got big plans for today." I thought about the ring in my pocket and smiled as his forehead creased with anger.

"What is he talking about, Edward?" Alice whined softly, glancing between the two of us.

"Where's the diamond? Why would you give her a ring without one, Jacob? Wait . . . hold on. Oh, there it is . . . I think. Minuscule little thing, don't you think?" Edward grinned. _The leech has humor, ha ha. Hilarious. _

"Yeah, it's nothing compared to the rock you gave her, bloodsucker, but I don't really want to give her something that might remind her of you. Cold, hard stone . . . nah, Bella prefers something warm and soft." I thought about the other night when she had cuddled up next to me in her sleep, her arms wrapped tight around me, her head nestled against my chest. No fantasy there. All reality, one-hundred percent.

He growled. "Enjoy it while it lasts, dog. And remember, I'll be that little voice in your head. Almost like a conscience. Oh, but you probably don't know what I'm talking about. Too bad. Anyway, get ready to spend some quality time with dear old Edward, because I'm going to be ransacking those thoughts of yours for awhile."

And then he was gone.

Alice made a face at me. "I'm watching you, pooch." And then she flitted away like the little bird that she was.

I started back to the guest house, a grin on my face. This was actually turning out to be a lot of fun. Who would've guessed?

*****

Bella:

"Hey, what're you—oh, no. Ow, that hurts!"—I moaned—"I don't feel so well. I think I'm going to be sick." I turned away from the sight of the big needle that was submerged in my arm.

"Sorry, dear. The doctor's almost done." Aunt Mae was sitting beside me on the bed, stroking my other hand.

"Where's Jake?" I croaked. My throat still hurt, and it made me sound like a frog. _Great._

"Right here, honey. Sorry, they _made_ me leave." He was walking through the door, glowering at the man in the white lab coat. If looks could kill, that doctor would be long gone by now. And he could take his big, scary needles right along with him.

"Where were you?" I croaked again. Wasn't this appealing?

He sat down beside me, taking Aunt Mae's place, and stroked my cheek. I thought I felt a blush, but I couldn't be sure. His fingers were blazing hot.

"I was just outside for a minute. Don't worry, I won't leave you." He smiled that lopsided grin of his, and my heart did a little flip. "Can I have a minute alone with her?"

The lab coat hesitated briefly, but then nodded. He motioned to the others to follow him. The door closed with a light click and we were alone.

"How do you feel?"

"Fine. No pain at all," I lied.

He laughed, a deep throaty laugh, and intertwined our fingers. "Some things never change—you're still an awful liar. But seriously, Bells, how's your head?"

I groaned. "I've had worse pain. It's pretty dull right now; the doctor gave me some more medicine." I lifted my arm, pointing to the red dot on my pale skin and grimaced.

He leaned over me and lightly kissed the inflamed spot. "Sorry. I'll try to talk to him about that."

"Good." There was an awkward pause. I looked away, biting my lip. "Jake, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." I knew he was worried by my sudden change in tone, but I had to talk about it. It had been plaguing my thoughts for so long.

"You said you didn't save me when I fell, and that Walker didn't either. So . . . who did?" I looked back at him, but he was staring out the window. I thought I saw a flash of something, some unidentified emotion wash over his face, but then he turned back to me, his features perfectly composed.

"The tide carried you mostly back to shore, and then you must've swam a bit, but Walker was the one who pulled you out."

I stared at him. "But I felt someone's arms, Jake. I didn't swim; I couldn't."

He stared right back and nodded. "Yeah, Walker's." He hesitated. "Bells, I'm not really sure how it all happened, neither is he, but it doesn't really matter because you're safe." He leaned forward and casually kissed my forehead.

I was pretty sure he was trying to distract me. I dropped the subject. I knew I wasn't going to get anywhere with him. If he did know something, then he wasn't going to tell me.

"You're probably right," I said slowly.

Then I made a mistake. I tried to sit up, and my head began to pound like someone was using it as a drum in a rock band. "Holy crow!" I exclaimed, my hand flying to the back of my head. That's when I felt it. The stitches. A nice long row of them buried beneath my matted, bloody hair. Of course. That explained the rhythmic tugging from my dreams.

A wave of dizziness passed over me as the black started to crowd in once again. I felt the room spinning, or maybe it was me, I wasn't sure. But suddenly I saw him. He was a dark, hazy figure with the light from the window encircling him like an angel. My angel. It was fitting—he had saved me after all, or so I'd like to believe.

And then the blackness took over completely. I could still hear voices, though. They were somewhat vague, like I was in the tunnel again, a very dark tunnel.

Jacob's warm hands frantically patted my face. "Bella? Honey? Can you hear me?"

Then a growl. "What did you do to her?" It was his voice. I recognized it so well, even through the murkiness.

I tried to answer him, but no sound emerged. My throat was thick with cotton.

"_I_ didn't do a thing. She just fainted, that's all. What are _you_ doing here anyway? I've got this under control," Jake spat back.

Wait. Jacob was talking to my illusion now? They were conversing? How was that possible? Just when I thought I couldn't sink any deeper into oblivion, I surprised myself. I had taken another plunge off the diving board into another endless abyss.

"_I'm _making sure you don't kill Bella, if you _have_ to know, dog. Which, by the look of things, you're not doing a very good job. Do I need to come in there?" My illusion asked in an irritated tone.

"_Bells_ is not going to die because of me, leech. Why don't you just leave. The doctor's gonna be back any moment . . . Do you want to have to explain who you are and why the hell you're here? It'd seem kind of strange, if you ask me," Jake grumbled.

There was a loud heave of a sigh. "You sent the doctor away? Are you so incredibly dense that you would send the doctor away when Bella's only just awoken from a medically induced coma? You are so inept, Jacob."

"How did you know—"

"Your thoughts, how else?" The illusion said sarcastically. "Someone's coming. I have to go. Have a little sense next time? Please, for her sake?"

I tried to hear the footsteps he was hearing, but there was nothing. Only the sound of a light rustling as a gentle wind fluttered the curtains of the window. _Don't leave,_ I wanted to tell him. But it was useless. I could sense that he'd already left.

"Yeah, well you smell funny," Jake muttered bitterly. I snickered internally; they were like two children.

I heard the door open and then loud footsteps on the wood floors. "Who smells funny? Who are you talking to, son?" It was the doctor.

"Uh, nobody," he replied. "Bella's fainted, I think. She felt the stitches and passed out. It's been a few minutes. I'm kind of worried."

I felt warm fingers against my wrist, then the cold sphere of a stethoscope on my chest. "Nothing to worry about. She'll be fine. You, on the other hand, might want to talk to someone about that imaginary friend of yours'." The doctor laughed. Jacob didn't join in, and neither did I.

I knew I was losing my mind, thank you very much, and I didn't need to hear it repeated over and over. Now I was imagining the two guys I loved bickering with each other. Great. Just great. As if hearing voices wasn't enough.

Slowly, the darkness started to recede, and Jacob's worried face came back into view with clarity. I still felt dizzy, but I'd learned my lesson. I was staying flat on my back for now.

"Hey, don't scare me like that," he whispered in my ear and then brushed his lips across my hair.

"Sorry," I mumbled hoarsely. It still felt like the cotton was in my throat. I guessed that was just left over from my near-drowning experience. I glanced around the room. "Were you talking to someone?"

He frowned. "Just the doctor, why?"

"Oh, it's no big deal, really. I'm just having hallucinations," I said bluntly. I meant for it to be a joke, but instead, he had this alarmed look on his face.

"Must be side effects from the medication." He was looking at me oddly, probably assessing my mental state and sanity. Perhaps I should warn him that it's pretty much nonexistent.

I shrugged. "Must be." I touched the bracelet on my wrist, twisting it around and around in thought. I remembered something from one of my old slideshow dreams, about one of the charms. "Hey, Jake? Where did I get this charm from? I can't seem to remember for some reason." I lifted the smooth, cold, heart-shaped charm. It caught a beam of sunlight from the window, casting a fuzzy, colorful ray across the room. That same feeling of perplexing familiarity came over me. It was so close to the surface, but yet so far away. Burrowed deep in the folds of my mind, tugging and pulling, just asking to be remembered. But I still couldn't. There was a veil over my eyes, barring the repressed memories from reaching acknowledgment.

Jacob stared at the charm for a moment. "Uh, I'm not sure. You've had it forever. Some old friend gave it to you a long time ago or something."

"Huh, I guess it doesn't matter. The person must not have meant that much, apparently. I was just wondering." I laughed, playing with the charm with my finger.

"Obviously not. You're with me, aren't you?" Jacob chuckled, leaning forward. His lips met mine softly, gently. I could feel the restrained desire just waiting to get out. But then we were interrupted by someone clearing his throat. Jacob pulled back reluctantly, and I blushed. I had forgotten the doctor was still in here.

"I just need to check her injury." He stepped to my side and I rolled over, focusing on Jake's face, trying to divert my attention before another wave of nausea came over me. At least I couldn't see it; that was the one advantage of having a gash across the back of my head. "The stitches look good. It looks like it's healing nicely."

I grimaced at Jacob as the doctor left the room. "I think he made it worse. Feels like someone's sitting on my head."

"I know how to make it feel better." He grinned, brushing the hair from my face, and leaned in to resume where he'd left off. But I cut him off with a sudden yawn.

"I don't know why I'm so tired all the time now. Must be the medicine." I suppressed another yawn. "Will you stay with me?"

"Of course." He climbed into the bed beside me, and I laid my head in the crook of his arm. It felt nice, being here with him. But still my thoughts drifted back to _him._ As always, his beautiful face appeared in my mind, his strangely red eyes haunting my dreams.

And as I sank farther towards unconsciousness, I thought I heard Jake's voice whispering, "Ha, you see this, parasite? I hope you can hear me, and I hope you're witnessing this right now. Is this proof enough?" His quiet chuckle faded away as sleep overcame me.


	14. Chapter 14

Ch. 14

A Familiar Tune

Edward:

I watched as the last of the radiant, orange globe sank beneath the tree tops and sighed. It had been another long, wasted day, and following it would be another long, wasted night. It loomed before me, bleak and gloomy, promising the usual—misery.

I had grown so accustomed to spending my nights with Bella, listening to her breathing, her intermittent, humorous private thoughts revealed to me only through sleep. With all of that taken from me, I felt barren, desolate, empty.

Empty of everything except thoughts I didn't want. Jacob's. Even in sleep, he had the most obnoxious mind I'd ever intruded in. These loathsome thoughts and images burned my eyes. Literally, they caused me pain. They made me angry. And it was wholly justified, too.

When he'd said he had an archive for all his fantasies, he hadn't been lying. No, that was an understatement. He had so many different fantasies in that muddled head of his that it was a wonder he could even _think._ Although, I wouldn't ever consider his thoughts high quality musings. It's more like a toddler rambling on and on about his favorite toy. Maybe not even _that_ interesting.

I winced as his current dream kicked it up a notch or two . . . or five. I tried to drown out the distastefulness.

I couldn't understand why Bella had gone with him. So far, I had no reason to suspect Jacob of not playing fair; I hadn't witnessed anything in his thoughts that claimed otherwise. But then again, he _had_ fought dirty in the past. Like making Bella _ask_ him to kiss her before he went off to fight the newborns. That had been the most obvious ruse—he would have done it whether he'd had her permission or not. It _was_ Jacob—I should suspect a lot more, just like Alice said. But still, Bella seemed happy. If she were taken against her will, she'd be protesting by now. Bella wasn't one to keep quiet. No, she'd let you know when she wasn't pleased. And she was just as chipper as Alice right now.

Could I have been so incredibly wrong about her? That maybe she _had_ loved Jacob more. Or maybe she preferred his aggressive behavior rather than my submissiveness. She _had_ begged me to fight for her, to make her forget Jacob Black. I recalled that episode in the tent far too well. Others might call it submissiveness, but I called it being noble. Maybe she didn't care for my methods. Maybe I'd really lost her in that exact moment, when I had refused to play like Jacob. Maybe I really should have fought for her, but I'd thought I was doing the right thing—because I loved her _that _much. But now I didn't know what to do.

I heard Alice's light laughter a few feet away and turned. Good. I needed a distraction. "What's so funny?" I asked quietly, still trying to keep an ear on Jacob.

She plopped down across from me, sending dirt in all directions. "Another vision."—I raised my eyebrow—"Not of Bella, no. The stinky little dog still blocks everything, for now," she muttered. "Sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear. But my vision was funny, nonetheless. Apparently, Emmett ruined one of Rosalie's favorite pair of shoes, you know the ones. Anyway, she's declared war against him. It's turned into quite a nasty battle, pretty involved pranks and all. It's getting good now; Emmett's stepping up his game. Very amusing and highly entertaining, especially considering I'm bored out of my mind. But you could change that easily, Edward. I've got something in mind for our little doggie friend," she hinted, her narrow eyes glinting with mischief.

I smiled out of politeness, ignoring that last part. Not the distraction I was hoping for. "Hmm, must've missed it." When I'd tuned into her thoughts momentarily and found that they included Rosalie, I'd drowned them out. She was the last person I wanted to hear about right now.

I went back to monitoring the canine's thoughts, while she sat observing me. It was quiet for only a few minutes.

"Edward, if you're just going to sit here and be all passive, then am_ I _at liberty to go pummel his—"

"Shh, did you hear that?" I whispered almost inaudibly.

Her eyes darted around. _No, nothing. What did you think it was? _She thought.

I shook my head. "It was just the wind, I guess. False alarm."

She bounced to her feet and started in the other direction.

"Where are you going?" I asked her retreating figure.

She snorted. "You don't really think I'm going to sit here all night and be bored and miserable like you, do you? I'm going to find some better company." And with that she was gone.

I was all alone again. Well, partially—Jacob didn't count.

I leaned my head back, staring up at the night sky and the tiny specks of stars. Bella had once said she loved nighttime. Her voice rang loud and clear in my mind as she said, "Without the dark, we'd never see the stars." Well, she was right, but that still didn't change my aversion to the night. I only tolerated it when I was with her.

Suddenly, I just couldn't stand it another moment. I needed to be near her. My sanity depended on it. I sprang to my feet and began to run. It felt good to stretch my muscles that had been taut from staying still for too long. I strained my body, throwing my mix of emotions into energy.

In less than a minute, I was standing on the small patio outside the bedroom window. I could hear everything, every tiny noise, but I centered in on only one—Bella's slow, steady breathing. I could hear Jacob's, too, much heavier, and within inches of Bella. I felt my fist clench involuntarily. I imagined all sorts of creative things I could do to him with just that one fist. I knew of a way to wipe that ridiculous grin off his face.

I had only needed to be near her; I hadn't decided on actually going in the room, but suddenly this wasn't enough either. I had been around Jacob before while he slept, and for someone with such heightened senses, he was an unusually deep sleeper. It wouldn't matter if he woke up anyway—what could he possibly do to me with Bella so near?

In a split second I was in the dark room. I listened closely, but the heavy breaths hadn't changed one bit. I was right. Deep sleeper. I remembered 'accidentally' tossing him out of the sleeping bag a few months back and smiled. It would be wrong, but I just couldn't resist causing him just a little discomfort. After all, he'd given me my share, both in the past and present.

I lowered myself silently into the chair adjacent to the bed. Technically, it was on Bella's side, but she was so far over in the bed, curled up against the mangy dog, that it was impossible to be as close as I wished.

Almost in response to my unspoken want, she rolled away from Jacob, out of his arms and closer to me. Her hand now dangled off the side of the bed; it tempted me. Why not? Tonight _was_ a night for giving in to temptation. With that thought at the forefront of my mind, I gently interlaced our fingers. The warmth was inviting, appealing. I missed her touch on my skin.

Surprisingly, she didn't draw back from the cold. Her hand was firm and strong as it clung to mine with a certain urgency. With my other hand, I caressed the smooth skin on the back of her hand. It was strange that everything I now loved and cherished about her had almost gotten her killed the moment I saw her. The gentle thrum of her pulse, the radiating heat, her intoxicating scent—all of these things I relished.

I was still keeping an eye on Jacob. His breathing was the same, and his thoughts hadn't changed. He was still deliriously happy in his inane dreams. If he hadn't awoken yet, then I hardly expected him to now.

I leaned closer, resting more on the bed now, and began to hum Bella's lullaby. I watched her face, which was aglow from the moonlight, wary that she might wake up. Her features were completely still except for the slight upturn at the corners of her lips. She was dreaming. How I wished I could read her mind, if only for a brief moment, to know what she was thinking.

I couldn't be sure how long I stayed like that. Time passed me by so slowly anyway that it was difficult to judge. It seemed like hours had flown by, when she moaned softly and mumbled, almost incoherently, "I love you." But there was no mistaking it with my ears. I was sure those were the exact words she had muttered. I just wasn't sure to whom she meant them.

I stayed there an indeterminate amount of time after that, just hoping to hear her voice again. I got nothing. But then Jacob's thoughts changed abruptly. There was a sense of awareness that hadn't been there before. He was waking up.

All under a second, I quickly bent and pressed my lips to Bella's, and then went around to the far side of the bed. In one quick move, the blanket beneath Jacob had been snatched, sending him sprawling towards the wood floors. Before he'd even left the edge of the bed, I was outside, racing back through the trees, my face contorted into the most mischievous grin ever. Maybe playing dirty wasn't so bad after all. Now I knew why Jacob enjoyed it so much.

*****

Bella:

My eyes fluttered open, my hand flying to my mouth. My lips tingled like I'd been out in the cold wind. And so did my hand. It was cool, too.

I heard a groan and rolled over, expecting to find Jacob right beside me, but the bed was empty. The sheet was still warm, but—hmm, that's weird, the blanket's gone. He'd been lying on top of it because he was always too hot to get under the covers.

And then a head bobbed up from the side of the bed, growling low and soft.

"Jacob? Are you okay?" I stifled a laugh as he picked himself up off the floor, tossing the wadded blanket across the room.

"Just wonderful," he grumbled, his voice gravelly with sleep. "I just love getting thrown out of bed in mid-sleep."

I frowned, confused. "I didn't, did I? I didn't think I was a kicker, but—"

He ran his thumb across my cheek. "No, Bells. It wasn't you. Go back to sleep, honey." He smiled, and in the dim moonlight, I could see his hair sticking straight up in all directions—he looked like he'd been tossing and turning all night. He must have rolled himself right out of bed. "Bold, leech . . . very bold," he muttered.

I looked at him. "What?"

"Cold feet. You're feet are freezing, Bells." He grabbed the blanket that he'd just tossed and tucked it around me, and then climbed back into bed. He pulled me close again, and within minutes, he was fast asleep. I couldn't be that lucky.

I was tired, my eyes were heavy, but something kept nagging me in my head. It had been another night with my beautiful illusion frequenting my dreams, nothing out of the ordinary, but yet something was different. I looked down at my hand, where the coldness still lingered. The heater was on, I could hear it faintly in the other room, and the windows were closed tonight, so why was my hand—and only just one hand—freezing cold?

I laid there for several minutes, contemplating, until my eyes starting drooping and my thoughts weren't making sense. I started to drift towards sleep, when my eyes flew back open with a sudden jolt. I remembered it now. The soft humming of a familiar song. Like a lullaby, it had comforted me, held me within the confines of sleep, but I didn't recall Renee ever singing anything like that in the past. Nor my dad, nor the crazy old babysitters from my childhood, nor my grandmother. Not even Jacob, who was always humming some sort of tribal tune. I couldn't even recall ever having heard it on t.v. So why did it keep nagging me like this?

And then somewhere far off, I thought I heard the soft chuckle of my illusion. But I realized a second later, as the darkness gathered around me, that I was only imagining the pleasant sound. I was projecting my silly little delusions onto reality and getting them confused. It wasn't possible that I could actually be hearing someone's voice who only existed in my mind. No, just another dream, which I welcomed with enthusiasm.

*****

Jacob:

I was suddenly aware of the warm, soft body pressed tightly against me. Bella. I smiled, keeping my eyes closed to enjoy the moment. I was enjoying it even more just knowing that Edward was somewhere out there, alone, invading my thoughts, while I was snuggled up close to _her. _I snickered internally. Being bad felt so good.

I remembered last night and rubbed my shoulder from the memory of the impact. It didn't hurt now, of course, but the thought still bristled me.

_You're gonna regret that, leech. Just wait,_ I thought.

"Sure, sure," Edward's faint voice mimicked me from the forest.

_Humph, funny._

I rolled out of bed, quick and easy, being careful not to wake Bella, and headed to take a shower. I could smell vampire stink on me, and it wasn't very appealing. I'd have to start wearing some cologne or something, though that probably wouldn't cut it. But it might detract just a little from the awful burning stench.

I pulled my shirt up over my head and looked at my reflection in the mirror, thinking of another way to egg Edward on.

_You see this? This is what Bella really wants . . . a real _man. I grinned, cocking my head to better hear the vampire's response.

Edward sighed in exasperation. "Sorry, pup, I think you're confused. Technically, sixteen year old punks aren't considered _real men _yet. Bella prefers her men far more mature than your mere sixteen years can yield. And also, _real men_ hardly compare to a vampire's beauty, if you want to get all superficial. It's a good thing Bella isn't that shallow, though."

I laughed. _Oh, that's right. I forgot how you're really just a century-old, perverted monster who preys on nice girls like Bella. I mean, how could I possibly think anyone _wouldn't _want you? _I thought mockingly.

He growled in irritation. "You forget, dog, that you're still entirely mortal, and therefore, easily killed. Don't test me. My patience and temper are nothing like they used to be. I could slip at any moment," he snarled far off in the forest, but his voice sounded like it was getting closer.

I grinned. _The game is on, leech. Come and get me._

He growled again. "Oh, there is no game, mutt. I'll show you that you've already lost."

I gave up hope that he was going to follow through with his threat and jumped in the shower. I kept waiting, expecting to hear his response or footsteps as he came to _try_ to carry out the threat. But all I heard was the steady stream of cold water—cold because I was burning up—pouring down from the faucet.

Within five minutes, I was out, a seed of worry spreading roots in my head. Why wasn't I hearing him? And not just him. Why wasn't I hearing the usual sounds from the main house? Or people's laughter from the beach? Where were all the noises? Why was it dead quiet?

I threw on a pair of shorts, not bothering with a shirt, and started for the door leading to the patio. As I rounded the corner of the house, I came to a halt. Edward was standing less than a foot away, his eyes blood red just as they had been the previous day.

"Why didn't you answer me?" I asked him.

"I did answer, you daft little dog. I cannot help it if you're terribly unobservant."

"I'm not unobservant, thank you very much," I muttered bitterly, taking a step back. "Man, you reek . . . Can't you stand over there? I just washed that stench off." I wrinkled my nose in disgust.

But Edward didn't move a muscle. He seemed fixed on something as he studied my face.

"You're having trouble hearing?" It was meant to be a question, but spoken like a statement. He already knew the answer . . . he'd just my thoughts again. I wondered whether aluminum foil might keep him out of my head; it had worked on the aliens.

"It won't," he verified. "That's very interesting, Jacob, that you're having problems with your heightened senses. Hmm, very interesting. I wonder why?" he asked rhetorically.

"If I knew why, I'd fix it and not be standing here talking to _you_." I wondered if he would try anything knowing that my special abilities were all haywire. He might follow through with the threat.

"Relax, dog, I'm not going to attack you now. That would be too easy. Where's the fun in that?" Of course, he'd read my mind again.

"Would you stop that?" I said, irritated with both myself and him. "And besides, I could take you even now. My strength's still the same."

"Thanks for the invite, Jacob, but I think I'll decline until further notice. Keep Bella's feelings in mind."

"Pacifist," I taunted.

"Antagonist," Edward responded.

We glared at each other, neither of us knowing what to say. Or maybe _I_ just didn't know what to say, and he was just reading my thoughts. I scowled.

Alice suddenly appeared by Edward's side, a tiny smile on her little bird face. "How's your shoulder, dog?"

I turned my scowl on her. "What, was that your idea? To throw me out of bed?"

"Oh, no. That was all Edward. But I enjoyed hearing about it." She laughed.

All three of us turned at the sound of a twig snapping. Alice snarled. Edward threw his weight forward, assuming a defensive crouch. I laughed.

A large black wolf was standing half-hidden by the trees, staring at me with what I supposed was an anxious expression.

"_What_ is that?" Alice growled.

Edward straightened, a puzzled look on his face, and frowned at me.

"_That_ is my cousin." I laughed.

This was too funny. I couldn't wait to hear what triggered Walker's transformation. I'd been waiting on this for days now. Just as I was about to speak up, Edward's face changed. He wasn't scowling anymore, and his body was relaxed.

Then he smiled. "You're the one who saved Bella." He paused. "I cannot express the extent of my gratitude."

The wolf eyed him uneasily, taking a step forward.

Edward crossed his arms over his chest. "Ah, Bella and I go way back."

Walker strode over to me, still keeping a keen eye on the other two.

Edward closed his eyes for a second and then stared at me as he spoke. "Yes, I do love her, too." His frightening gaze flickered back to the wolf who now looked amused. Great. What else could go wrong now?

My werewolf cousin and eternal enemy were conversing. Without me. Just great.

I stepped forward, blocking Edward's view, although I knew that wouldn't stop him from reading Walker's mind still, and held up my hands. "Enough with the chitchat, vamp, we've got things to discuss."

Alice reluctantly pulled out from her crouch. "So what is _this_?" She asked again, waving her perfectly manicured hand at Walker.

"He has the same bloodlines. It was only a matter of time before fate caught up with him, too. And then when you sent that damn leech after Bells, it just sped up the process. He had to change because there was a threat, thanks to you," I growled at Edward.

Edward's eyes narrowed into tiny red slits. "You think _I_ sent Felix after Bella? I know you don't think very highly of me, Jacob, but I thought we at least agreed on _one_ thing—Bella's safety. Why would you ever assume that I would send one of the Volturri after my own Bella?"

My heart skipped a beat. "The Volturri? How the hell did he find her? And if he isn't here to bring her back to you, then why _is_ he here?" I wanted to strangle Edward right now. Why hadn't he said something to begin with?

"Because I thought you'd realize that I didn't send one of the worst of the Volturri's guards after Bella! And I'm not sure _how_ he found her. I'd love to know because he found her quicker than I could. I don't understand; he's not even a tracker. But he's here anyway, so all we can do is protect Bella from him, which you're not doing a very good job of, might I mention. If I hadn't made it in time, he would have killed her the other night. You should have been watching her more carefully. Now that I know your abilities are defective, for whatever reason, it explains why you weren't with her, but it doesn't excuse the fact that you almost let her die!"

"Wait. You saved her? How? How did _you_ find her?"

"Alice had a few visions. We saw her on the cliff with Felix. Fortunately, I was able to get over here fast enough, since you were just going to let her die," he growled.

"Watch yourself, leech. I'm kind of in the mood to rip your head off right now," I snarled back. I turned to Alice. "What other visions did you have?"

She glared at me. "Not many, thanks to you." In a flash, she had flitted to my side, slapped me across the face, and was back at Edward's side before I could even flinch. "That was for what your cousin almost did to Bella, and this"—slap—"is for her near death experience. Did I forget any, Edward?"

He shook his head, deep in thought.

So every vision she'd had coincidentally occurred when I was unaware, when my senses were just as average as the next guy. I thought about it. Could there be a connection?

Edward lifted his head from his own musings. "Quite possibly. It does seem to make sense. Every time Alice had a vision of Bella, it was because you weren't blocking her anymore, like you weren't a part of her future. But being a werewolf is something you can't change. Like you said, it's in your blood. Jacob, did you ever once decide that you didn't want Bella or didn't want to be in her life?"

I frowned. "Of course not. That's stupid. I love her."

He was silent for several minutes. "I think I have a theory. Jacob, do you remember the story your father told about the third wife?"

"Of course I remember. I'm the one you heard it from," I growled.

"Well, technically, I heard it in your mind, but yes. And I was just checking; I know how humans' memory is not as proficient, but anyway, my theory. In the story, once the chief imprinted, he decided he wanted to quit his wolf form and continue aging along with her. Isn't it correct that the longer you forego changing, the more your abilities decline? How long has it been since you changed?"

I thought about it, knowing that he was one step ahead. Irritating. "About a week. So you think that's why I've been having trouble hearing and stuff. Because my body thinks that I might be quitting my wolf." It wasn't meant to be a question; I already knew the answer, but Edward still responded.

"Yes. Perhaps because you are the rightful alpha, it is a great deal stronger for you. It's in both your bloodlines, so it probably affects you differently than the others."

"Thanks _so_ much, Edward. I appreciate your help," I muttered sarcastically.

It didn't matter whether I changed or not anymore. He'd already found me. The pack couldn't do any damage now.

I waited for him to respond to _my _thoughts, but he kept quiet, surprisingly.

It was Alice who spoke up. "So where's Felix then?"

"How would I know?" I grumbled with irritation. "He disappeared after Bella jumped off the cliff. I'm sure he's just regrouping somewhere nearby."

"Has anyone ever told you that you are the grumpiest person this side of the country?" Alice smiled.

"Yeah, well I hope you don't like that pretty little head of yours'—"

"He's right," Edward spoke up abruptly. We both turned.

"I am?" Now I was confused. About what?

"_He _is?" Alice asked.

"No, not about that. About Felix regrouping, he's right. I doubt Felix will just back off now. That's not his style. We have to be more careful than ever. Jacob, that means watching Bella's every move. Don't be so irresponsible this time. And your little friend over there can be of some help, too."

I felt a small tremor run down my back. He was really starting to get on my nerves, seriously.

Walker whimpered from behind me, and I remembered that he was still stuck like that.

"Alright, alright, I'm changing. Chill," I said over my shoulder and turned back to a weary Edward. "Why don't you both try to see where Felix is while I take care of this." I jerked my thumb over my shoulder.

Edward glared. "Who's going to watch Bella?"

"I'm not going anywhere. It'll take five minutes to try to teach him how to change back. Maybe less. Bella'll be fine. Once I change and your theory no longer exists, then nothing will happen to her. I'll make sure." Why was I having to reassure him? It wasn't like she belonged to him anyway.

"You just make sure _nothing _happens to her, or else I'll make sure _you_ don't walk ever again, dog."

"Yeah, I'll be waiting, leech. Just name the place and time." I shrugged.

They both disappeared into the trees, leaving a trail of stink behind them. I'd probably have to take another shower. I reeked now.

I let my mind drift toward my inner wolf, no longer shying away from the surge of tremors that started in my spine. I let the fire consume me, feeling the vibrations take over my body. It had been way too long.

With one last wave of heat, I felt my body change and the process was over in a second. It felt good to be back, although, the fur _was_ a lot longer and shabbier than a week or so ago. Other than feeling like I was stuffed in an oven, I felt great. But I would have to cut the hair sometime soon; it was getting in the way.

_Could you get me out of here before I go gray? I've got plans later,_ Walker grumbled in thought.

_Calm down. You got yourself into this mess. . . Speaking of, how _did_ you change? What set you off?_ I felt like a good laugh, and with Walker, there was always something or other to laugh at.

_My girlfriend dumped me . . . through a text message. _I could feel his anger now and something else. Pain, maybe?

_Whoa! Are you actually sad? Wow, never thought I'd see this day! _I laughed. If I had hands, I'd be slapping my knees right about now. Or rolling on the ground. This was too funny. Here's proof that karma does exist . . . Wait, that's bad for me. . .

_Could you please just help me? I'm really not in the mood right now._

_Wait, wait, wait . . . this is good. So which girlfriend was it? And what was her reason?_ I tried to stop laughing, really, I did, but it was just so funny.

_The blonde. And apparently girls talk . . . They found out about each other. I'm just waiting for the second dumping of the morning._ He frowned.

_I told you your Casanova ways would come back to bite you in the ass. 'S not fun, is it? So your plans later?_

_A date with this new girl._ I saw her face flash by in his mind. _I know what you're thinking, Jake, but save it._

_You'd think he'd learn. . ._ I thought in exasperation._ Some people are hopeless._

_Hey, I'm just trying to mend a broken heart here._ He was trying to justify his actions, but I already knew that he'd asked the girl out the other night. I don't think he's realized that we share _every _thought, no matter how tiny and buried it is. I hear everything; he hears everything. Pretty much sucks.

_Whatever,_ I sighed, _'s your life. Just don't go bothering me with your thoughts on the subject. I don't want a play-by-play, so try to control that when you change. 'Kay? Alright, so this changing back thing, it's not really all that hard. You just have to think about other things, not anything that has to do with what set you off. For instance, your ex's . . . push them far from your mind and—_ I grimaced –_think about your date and just follow my lead. Focus on exactly what goes through my mind and try to copy it . . . it's kind of hard at first to get in the mind set, but after awhile it'll come naturally._

I concentrated on launching a new set of fiery vibrations and let the pulses ripple through me, keeping half my attention on Walker. He was struggling, but after a few tries, he got it, and we both phased back easily.

Being alpha to him was hard. I really did feel bad for Sam, having to coach every one of us. I didn't see how he had the patience, but then again, Sam and I couldn't be more different. That's the biggest thing I lack . . . patience. I even have trouble waiting on syrup when I eat pancakes, so you know it's gotta be pretty bad.

I trudged back to the bedroom to check on Bella. Didn't need the old leech checking up on me every minute. She was still sound asleep, probably from all those tranquilizers the doc had given her. I'd like to get my hands on some of those, especially those times when Sam made us do two and three shifts. If I had some of those, it'd probably knock me out for a few days, and I could finally catch up on all my beauty sleep.

I settled into my spot beside Bella on the bed, already bored to death. Just another day of waiting. God, I wish I had some patience right now.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Solid Proof

Bella:

I woke up slowly, feeling the heat spreading through my body. Jake, beside me as usual. I kept my eyes closed; I just wasn't ready to wake up yet. I loved those mornings when you could just lay in bed, half awake and half asleep, daydreaming or thinking. So this is what I did.

My mind wandered to Jake, naturally, since he was the only constant in my life right now. Without even realizing it, I had fallen in love with him, but not that sisterly love that had been there all along. No, this was something stronger and deeper . . . something that had just hit me. I was in love with Jacob Black, tall, dark, strong Jake with his quirky attitude and annoying antics. He was real, he was tangible. He could actually love me back . . . unlike this crazy dreamlike person I kept hearing and seeing in my mind—that wasn't real. He could never be.

And without even realizing it, I'd made up my mind about this illusion—I was going to forget him, to put him behind me, because longing for someone who was imaginary when you were eighteen was just plain silly. Sure, Aunt Mae was probably right about my having repressed old memories, but now that I thought about it, did it really matter that I seek them out? They would come back when the time was right—I just needed to be patient. And maybe I was wrong about the illusion being the key to open my secrets . . . maybe all along it had really been Jake. Why else would we be here together? He was my destiny, my future, not some silly ghost from my blurry past.

With that last thought, I felt a tingling spread through me along with Jake's warmth. I shuddered involuntarily. There was slight movement in the bed as Jake reached and pulled another blanket over me. He obviously mistook my shivering to be a bad thing, when really he had caused it.

I liked this sudden feeling, this tingling sensation. I wanted it to last. I guess this is what love feels like, though I wouldn't know from actual experience.

I rolled over towards him, draping one arm over his chest. I was surprised with my sudden boldness, but I didn't want to stop.

"Hey," I said softly, peeking up at him. He looked deep in thought, but then it vanished with a wide, crooked grin.

"Hey, gorgeous," he replied, rubbing my arm with his massive hand. I felt chill bumps rise up and was immediately thankful for his heat to quell them. "Feeling any better?"

I thought about it. There hadn't been any pain even when I'd turned over. Must be good medication. "Yeah, actually," I said, surprised. "No more headaches, nothing." Although, I wasn't going to risk another fainting spell by touching those evil little stitches on the back of my head. Besides, I didn't need to find that voice in my head, so unconsciousness was no longer needed. Nor perilous situations, nor close calls with death. . . I was going to stay as far away from my old illusion as I possibly could. He was only going to ruin things with Jake—he clouded my head with doubt, and I needed to focus on one thing. My Jacob.

"I was hoping you'd say that, Bells," Jake said with a sly grin. "You feel up to a little picnic?"

Jake and picnics? Whoa . . . he _was_ really trying. I never expected that out of him.

I laughed. "Sure, I am kind of starving. I don't think I can handle anymore chicken noodle soup." I wasn't sure why people thought that soup could really heal anyone anyway. "Let me take a quick shower?"

His face clouded with apprehension. "Bells," he started to say.

"Don't worry. No more bolting, I promise. Not after these," I said, pointing to my stitches. I meant it this time. No illusions, no sneaking away, no danger . . . cross my heart.

He sat still, thinking to himself, and also it seemed like he was listening to something else, but what? All I could hear was the faint voices from the TV in the other room. But then again I have been told I have pretty poor hearing.

Finally he relaxed and nodded, saying, "Okay, but I'm staying right out here, just in case. And don't try the bathroom window, Bells, it's mainly for looks—won't budge an inch." He grinned as I feebly attempted to swat at him. I missed of course.

The shower part was tricky. Trying to wash my hair without touching the stitches was the hardest part, and twice I came close. Thankfully, I'd hit the rock where the base of my head met my neck, so there wasn't too much hair in that area. I figured letting the water run over it was cleaning it enough.

I took a little longer than usual—because of the difficulties—but I was done within fifteen minutes, my damp hair pulled back in a loose ponytail to dry. I wasn't sure where he was taking me, so I just pulled on a light dress. It was the only one I'd brought, for whatever reason, and actually it was the only one I owned that still fit. I guess, even though it was a dress, it wasn't _that _bad. It was comfortable, and I suppose pretty, and considering that picnics were supposed to be romantic, or so I've been told, I decided that it was the only thing I had with me that would be suitable. And also the temperature outside was in the 70s, and the sun was shining, so I thought I'd take a chance to absorb whatever sunlight I could before we went back to dreary Forks.

When I walked out, Jacob let out a whistle and grinned, so I guess he seemed to enjoy it, or maybe he was really just laughing internally at the sight of me in a dress. Either way, I still felt uncomfortable, and then I realized . . . I was with Jake. He was my best friend; I didn't need to feel awkward around him. He loved me for who I was, no matter what I looked like on the outside.

He grabbed a basket that I was more than certain Aunt Mae had prepared and turned to hold open the door for me. That's when I saw it.

"Jacob!" I gasped in surprise.

He turned around quickly, his expression worried. "What's wrong?"

I stepped forward, reaching up to the back of his neck where his long ponytail had once been. "Your hair! What? Why?" I was shocked to see that he'd cut it.

His face relaxed, and he laughed in relief. "Oh, that." He reached up, raking his hand through his cropped hair and giving it a shake. "I dunno, it was about time, I guess. It was getting way too long. Are you upset with me?" He looked almost sad, like if I said yes, then he'd regret it.

I shook my head quickly. "No, I think it looks great," I said honestly. That was one thing about Jacob Black—he could wear his hair long or short and still look completely hot. It seemed unfair to me, a girl, who looked plain and ugly on her best days.

He seemed pleased with my answer and pulled me under his arm, leading the way. We walked towards the barn, and I started to get a sinking feeling. Maybe I couldn't stay away from my illusion that easily after all—Jake was going to lead me right back to him. But he didn't. He veered off in another direction and within minutes, we were standing in a little clearing covered with wildflowers. I looked around in awe; the clearing was surrounded by tall, old trees with thick vines that crept up the bark and in the middle was a clear blue brook, its water trickling and bubbling over the smooth stones and rocks. I wasn't sure where it led to, so I asked Jake.

"It runs on for about another quarter of a mile into a large pond, which then runs off into the ocean. I'll have to take you out there sometime; it's another one of my favorite spots. Walker and I used to jump off that cliff with the waterfall because it's not that high, since we used to be too chicken to go to the bigger cliffs." He grinned, giving me a look that told me what he'd said was a secret. "Once you're in the water, you can swim up to the rocks and find the cave pretty easily."

"Cave?" I asked, curious.

"Yeah, there's a cave up under the cliff. You'd never know it's there, unless you're in the water. That's how Walker and I found it a few years back. It's pretty cool inside. I would take you to see it, but not after that stunt you pulled the other night." He gave me a playfully mean look.

"But if I went _with_ you, it wouldn't be so dangerous . . . especially if it's just a small jump, right?" I asked, hopeful.

He considered it. "It is in the bay, so there wouldn't be those killer waves. . ." He trailed off, then looked at me. "I dunno, Bells. It might not be safe, especially for you."

"Please, Jake? You can't tell someone about something and then just leave it at that. I'm curious now . . . I want to see this place. Remember the time we went hiking together? That was fun . . . you know you enjoyed it," I said, trying to flirt with him with my eyes.

"Oh yeah . . . hiking with you is the _best_," he said sarcastically, laughing. "_Jacob, my feet hurt . . . Jake, are we there yet? Why does it have to be so rocky? Why can't it just be flat?"_ Jacob did his best impression of a girl's voice, which I assumed was supposed to be mine, and I laughed. He was so off.

I tried to push him to knock him off balance and failed. "I never said any of that, liar. You're making it up," I replied through spurts of laughter.

He playfully tried to grab me, but I somehow managed to dodge his arms and took off across the clearing. I knew I wouldn't escape him; he was far too fast, but I kept going. I burst into half screaming, half laughter, when his hands encircled my waist, forcing me to the soft ground with his relentless tickles. He stooped over me until I surrendered, gasping for air. His hands stopped, coming to my face, and he leaned towards me. I felt my heart doing little somersaults as his lips pressed against mine. He kissed me softly and then lowered me to the soft flowers covering the ground. I wasn't exactly sure of his intentions, or if he actually _had_ any intentions, until his warm hand started sliding up my leg. I could feel my dress sliding up with his gentle movement and suddenly I just panicked. I knew I loved him, but was this what I wanted? Was it the right time, or too soon? And then I really panicked. What do I do? I wasn't exactly experienced with guys . . . I'd never even had a boyfriend, or did this count? And I sure didn't want to embarrass myself with Jake, because I knew with his good looks and charm, he definitely had to have had a girlfriend or two in the past. As his hand reached the top of my thigh, I tried to push him away. He could have been a rock, for all I knew, because he wasn't moving. I turned my head away, breaking our kiss. He thought I needed air, so he went to my neck.

"Wait, Jake," I mumbled, frantically thinking of something reasonable to say.

He lifted his head, a smile I had never seen forming on his face. "Yes, Bells," He replied, leaning in again to sweep another kiss across my lips.

My head spun. My heart fluttered. I was confused with myself. Part of me wanted this, but part of me didn't. So what was holding me back? And for some reason, that little face popped up in my mind, _his_ face. But I didn't want anything to do with that anymore. He wasn't real, or rather it wasn't real. I pushed him far away and focused on Jake. It didn't matter who was to blame, it was just too soon.

I turned my head again, pushing against his rock-solid chest with fruitless results. "Jake, no." I said it forcefully to grab his attention, and it almost sounded like I was talking to a dog.

He listened this time, jerking his head up and staring at me with an odd expression. I couldn't tell if he was angry or hurt. "What, Bells?" he said in his husky voice.

I had formulated exactly what I would say in my head, but now that seemed stupid. I was at a loss for words when he stared directly at me with those chocolate eyes of his.

I shook my head, stumbling over choices of words, and then muttered softly, "It's just . . . I'm not ready . . . I don't know if it's the right time."

I looked down as he hauled himself to his feet and went to stand a few steps away, which for Jacob was like giant leaps. He stood silently with his back to me, his arms crossed. I couldn't see his face, but I could tell from his rigid stance that he wasn't overjoyed with my decision to wait. Why was I always screwing things up with him, with everybody?

I slowly pulled myself to my feet and glanced around the clearing. The birds were chirping happily, the sun shining brightly through the branches—the whole atmosphere was completely opposite to the one Jake had just created. I frowned. But it wasn't all my fault. It takes two to tango . . . and everyone had a choice whether they wanted to dance or not. I sighed; it was a little bit more complicated than that.

Jake turned halfway around when he heard my sigh.

I took my chance. "I'm sorry, Jake," I mumbled quickly, wanting to make things alright between us. "I don't know what's wrong with me—" He stopped me.

"No, of course you don't, Bells. But I do. It's always the same response from you. Why can't you just open your eyes and realize that we're meant for each other? Why are you always so afraid of opening up to me? It's like I make headway, and then you send me back three spaces. It's never the right time with you, so when is?" He was angry, or frustrated, or both. And I guess he had a right to be. From his perspective, it did seem like I was always leading him on. But if he could only understand that I was confused . . . but about what, I wasn't even sure.

He started to walk off, but I ran and caught his arm. He quit walking, though I knew it wasn't because of me stopping him. He had the strength to push right on through, but I'm glad he didn't.

I planted myself in front of him and looked into his eyes, no longer at a loss for words. I grabbed his hand. "Jake, please don't go," I whispered. I could feel the lump in my throat, and it was threatening tears if I spoke any louder. "Please stay. You're the only thing that makes any sense in my life right now. I need you, Jake. And I realized something today. . ." I trailed off, knowing that he wouldn't be able to resist his curiosity.

He looked away, hesitating for a minute, and then gave in. "What's that?" he asked gruffly, his jaw muscle clenching and unclenching in diminishing frustration.

I gave him a weak smile. It was all I could muster. "That I love you . . . It's been there all along, but I didn't see it until now. There's no one else; there never has been. Just you, Jake."

His dark eyes darted to mine, seeming to bore holes into me, but I held his gaze so he could see that I wasn't lying.

He always tried to act so tough, but really he was just a vulnerable teenager just looking for love. His face had matured to that of a twenty year old man, it seemed like, but I could still make out the hints of softness in his features. He _was_ still the same Jacob, my best friend . . . and the boy I'd unknowingly fallen in love with.

I saw his mouth twitch, and then it broke out into that heart-melting crooked smile that I loved. "You mean that?" His voice was still somewhat husky, but I could pick out the amusement in his tone.

A blush crept up from nowhere, heating my cheeks. I looked down, suddenly embarrassed by the way he was looking at me . . . like he was completely in love, too. I nodded my head to answer his question, but he tilted my chin up with just a finger.

"Well, I guess I love you, too, Bells," he said in a joking manner, but then his voice grew serious. "And I'll wait on you. I won't push you. I'll wait until you think it's the right time." He smiled sheepishly. "I guess I owe you an apology. I thought you were ready. I'm sorry for the big blowup. Sometimes it's hard to control my temper."

I squeezed his hand, smiling up at him. "It's fine, Jake. I'm kind of used to it by now." I nudged him in the side, but only ended up bruising my elbow. How much did he work out?!

"Careful," he said, rubbing the spot gently like he knew just how much damage he could cause.

He led me back to the side of the brook and spread out a blanket over the flowers. I helped him set up our picnic that Mae had packed and watched as he devoured sandwich after sandwich, wondering where he put them. He seemed completely attentive to me, but every now and then, he got this faint look in his eyes, and I could see him looking over my shoulder, but there was nothing there. There never was. After a few times of this, even I got a little wary. Every time I noticed his eyes dart somewhere off in the distance, I felt chill bumps on my arms and legs, except it wasn't cold at all. I knew I was just being silly and that he couldn't keep his eyes trained on me the entire time, but I still couldn't shake the feeling that there were eyes on my back.

*****

Edward:

"We're leaving."

Alice sprang to her feet in a flash. "What? You finally talked some sense into Bella? Wait, that's weird . . . I would've seen that."

I didn't want to think about that. "No," I answered curtly, trying to dodge an explanation.

She flew to my side. "Edward, what's going on? Why are we leaving without her?"

She just wouldn't take no for an answer. I thought my heart was going to implode as I said, "She doesn't love me. I have no reason to stick around."

"What? You don't know that!" Alice cried, her usually smiling face was contorted into a massive frown.

"I have my proof."

"And what proof is that?" she probed.

I sighed, knowing there was no way around her. She would have her information one way or the other. I had to tell her now . . . better than later. I quoted from the painful memory, "'I love you . . . It's been there all along, but I didn't see it until now. There's no one else; there never has been. Just you, Jake.' Is _that_ proof enough?" I asked bitterly, walking away from her.

Alice stood stunned in place like a statue. She started shaking her head back and forth. "No. No. I don't believe it. Bella wouldn't say that. No. You don't believe her, Edward. Tell me you don't."

I glared at her. "Yes, I do. Bella's the worst liar I've ever come into contact with . . . trust me, I'd know if she was lying. And she's not. If you don't believe me, go see for yourself—they're having a picnic about a mile west of here. But if you don't mind, I'll be leaving now. I cannot stay here any longer."

Her hand flew to her mouth. "Where are you going?" I'm sure she'd already figured it out . . . or had a vision by now. Maybe . . . maybe not. My mind wasn't one hundred percent made up yet. I was still wavering on my options. But I could read where her thoughts were moving to. She was almost in sync with my mind. I'd have to be a little more creative, not as predictable as she was thinking.

I shrugged. What would I say anyway? I hadn't an exact location for her or myself.

"No," she said forcefully. "I won't let you." Then her face brightened with a thought. "This is just like last time . . . don't you see?"

She kept quiet and let her mind wander over the events that took place after I had left Bella. I growled, not wanting to have to deal with that pain, too. It would be too much, but she held up her hand, and thought, _Just wait. I'm getting there._

It was amazing how she could read me like a book, like she had the mind reading ability instead of me.

I focused on her familiar thoughts—the ones I'd seen before in both Jacob and Alice's minds, the ones of Bella taking her dive the first time, the time I'd thought she'd died. Her mind began connecting the dots. I'd thought Charlie had gone to Bella's funeral, so I'd gone to Italy to get a little destructive help from the Volturri. She kept going. _Don't you see, Edward? It's the same situation. You're rushing to some rash conclusion that could change both your lives forever._ Then she began formulating her idea of what had happened. _What if Jacob did the same thing to her that happened to you, Edward? Made her think you were dead, so she would get over you. So then what you heard Bella say just now _would_ have been the truth, not a lie. Because she thinks you're dead, she can't possibly love you anymore. Of course she would turn to Jacob . . . it makes sense_.

I frowned. Alice always let her imagination run away with her. I didn't believe that suggestion one bit. No one could get over a lost loved one that easily, especially not Bella. I'd prefer to believe she just fell out of love with me, rather than the possibility she moved on so quickly. That just wasn't Bella. I couldn't even consider Alice's idea because it wasn't plausible.

I shook my head. "Alice, stop, it's useless. Your theory just doesn't add up. Bella wouldn't have moved on that quickly even if I had died. You know it, too. Do you see the flaw?"

She nodded slightly, sighing. _I just don't understand. None of this makes any sense. If you're leaving, then I'm going to stay and figure this out,_ she thought grimly.

I shook my head firmly. "No. I don't want you interfering with them. It's obviously what Bella wants. And I just want for her to be happy."

She glared at me in anger. _Even if it means that you're unhappy, Edward? That's not fair. I will stay here, and I will find out the truth since _you_ won't._

"Fine, but you cannot see her, Alice. Promise me. If you do, it'll make things worse."

She sighed with frustration. _Whatever, fine. I'll just snoop around. But seriously, Edward, what do you think you're doing?_

I growled at her. "Being noble." And then I pushed my body into a fast run, away from the pain, away from the memories, away from _her._


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Eye of the Storm

Bella:

It's funny how life can completely change in a single moment.

I had been reading after Jake and I got back from our picnic. He had stepped outside to talk to Walker about something, so I'd pulled out my books I'd bought the other day in town. But I couldn't focus on the tiny print. I'd read the same sentence over and over about ten times.

I had picked up _East of Eden _and started to read in a random spot, and that's when it had hit me—the thought that puzzled and intrigued me—how life can completely change in a single moment. It had happened in that book, but also many others that I loved. The one that was I most familiar with was _Romeo and Juliet._ I didn't know why that story was drawing my attention at a time like this . . . star-crossed lovers destined to be apart forever? Didn't relate to me one bit . . . unless Jake and I, but no.

Still, I kept thinking back to it. One little moment had changed their lives forever—the moment that Romeo misunderstood and acted impulsively.

Then there was another—_The Great Gatsby_. Ill-fated lovers there, too. Daisy and Gatsby would never be together . . . not after one single moment of rashness.

And another—_Wuthering Heights_. Again, Cathy and Heathcliff, two star-crossed lovers destined to be apart.

All of these stories tugged on an invisible string in the back of my mind. It was like they were trying to make me remember something, only I had no idea what it was . . . and why it would pertain to me.

The phone rang loudly, cutting into the baffling thoughts. I shrugged, set down my book, and walked into the other room to answer it. Jacob had moved it into the living room to let me sleep uninterrupted after my fall, and now I was having trouble finding it. I followed the noise, discovering it on the far side of a shelf, and picked up the receiver.

"Hello?" I asked, waiting for a reply.

"Bella!" The voice sounded excited and happy that I'd answered. I waited some more, not knowing who it was yet. "Are you busy, honey?" Aunt Mae's cheerful voice flowed from the speaker.

"Not really," I said, gazing back into the bedroom where my abandoned book lay on the bed. I wasn't going to get much reading done as it was.

"Oh, good. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind coming over to the house to help me. We've got another family coming in a little bit to rent out rooms three and four, and Walker's off gallivanting, so I need another helping hand. But don't worry about it if your head's still bothering you, honey," she added sweetly.

I gave my head a little shake. Nothing. "Nope, it's fine. I'd be glad to help out. I'll just tell Jake and be right over."

She thanked me and hung up.

Now I needed to find Jake. I went to the front door, stuck my head out, and looked. He wasn't around, so I went to the bedroom door and walked out on the patio. He still wasn't around. I tried calling his name, and suddenly he appeared with Walker right behind him.

"What's wrong?" Jake asked worriedly. I hated how he did that. He was always jumping to conclusions that I'd hurt myself . . . although, I guess he had his reasons.

"Nothing's wrong. I was just going to tell you that your aunt needed my help setting up rooms for some new guests. I'll be over there if you need me."

He didn't say anything, but looked over at Walker. They seemed to be conversing with their eyes, or something like that. I glanced at Walker for the first time since he'd attacked me, getting a good look. He appeared absolutely fine, no bruises, no cuts, like he'd healed completely within, what . . . two or three days? I couldn't keep track.

I looked down at my own arms, where there was still the faint mottled bruises from where he'd fallen on me. Then I remembered the sound, that sound of bones crunching together, and I remembered Jake coming to my rescue, punching Walker directly in the nose. I peered at his face. Not a scratch. His nose was perfectly positioned, no swelling, no bumps, nothing. I frowned. Bones didn't make that sound, unless they broke . . . and I'd definitely heard that sound.

Jake interrupted my thoughts. "Well, I guess that'll be fine. Just stay close to Mae, alright?"

Walker nodded in agreement.

I looked between the two of them, my eyebrows furrowing. They were acting weird, but that was usual. "Why?" I asked.

Jacob gave me a smile, but one that was meant to reassure. "Bells, if you hadn't noticed already, you're kind of accident prone. I just don't want something else to happen to that pretty little head of yours." He chuckled, glancing at Walker quickly, who gave a nervous chuckle, too.

I turned to him now. "I thought your nose was broken, Walker."

He looked at Jacob, and I could see his eyes grow huge. "Nah, nobody hit me. My nose is just fine. Where'd you get an idea like that?"

I glared at Jake as I spoke because I knew both of them were lying. "I saw it. That night, I saw Jake hit you right in the face . . . and I heard it, too. What's going on here? Tell me the truth."

Jake spoke up. "Uh, Bells, what you saw was me hitting one of Walker's other friends. It was late and dark; you probably just got confused."

Why was he lying to me? Jake would never lie to me, but now he was. I didn't understand, but I was sure Walker was behind this. I didn't trust him at all now. And he was looking really suspicious and acting strange. But I let it drop . . . at least for right now.

"Probably," was all I said in reply. I waved and then watched them walk off into the trees together. Yes, something was not right here. And I was going to find out.

With my mind wandering over possibilities, both unreasonable and rational, I made my way to the inn. Aunt Mae greeted me at the door and led me upstairs and down several hallways. I hadn't realized how big this place was, until I found myself in a whole other wing. We walked past a closed door, and Mae stopped at it, putting her finger to her mouth. She knocked and waited, and then when she didn't hear any sounds, she slowly opened the door. She took a look around and shrugged, closing the door back again.

"Whose room is that?" I wondered.

"Well, it's supposed to be Felix's, but he hasn't been back in a few days. Come to think of it, I haven't seen him since the day you took your little spill off that cliff. Now what were you thinking? You could've gotten yourself killed." She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and led me down the hall to another set of doors.

"Hasn't Jake told you already? I'm accident prone," I mimicked Jacob, trying to sound like I was joking, so she wouldn't press the issue.

It worked. "Oh, trust me, he has . . . he has," she laughed, her warm brown eyes scrunching up into even tinier almonds. "Okay, Bells, we've got work to do." She made a sad face, walking into one of the bedrooms with a queen sized bed. She reminded me of Renee—young at heart and silly. I smiled, following her past the door.

She started ripping sheets off the bed. "Alright, we've got a family of three coming sometime this evening. The couple can sleep in here, and I'll put their daughter in the room across the hall. It seems more girly to me. Will you take a look, Bells? Living with a complete male with tons of testosterone has made me immune to what girls like. Oh and grab some extra sheets out of the end closet, will you?"

I could hear her singing to herself as I left the room and went to the one across from it. It seemed alright to me, but I didn't think it would matter. The girl was only staying here a few nights. I didn't think she would get offended if her temporary room was mostly white and bare.

Next I went to retrieve the sheets she'd asked for, but the bedroom down the hall caught my attention. The night Felix had cornered me on the cliff, he'd said some things that were pretty strange. Maybe it had only been a joke to scare me? But then again there were real people out there who were that messed up in the head. He _had_ said things in reference to me being his dinner. I shivered thinking about it.

I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't help myself. My feet had a mind of their own. I started walking towards his closed door, debating in my head on the ethics, but even though I knew it was wrong, I still placed my trembling hand on the doorknob and went inside. He was very neat for a man, a lot neater than most girls even. He had a few shirts folded on a chair in the corner, some books laid out on the nightstand, and his sealed suitcase on the window seat. Everything was in order, except for one thing—a crumbled piece of paper that had just barely missed the wastebasket in a corner. I glanced over my shoulder into the hall. There was no one there, so I picked up the paper, and smoothed out its tiny creases. One side of it was covered in writing, the black ink kind of faded and smudged. I tried to read it, when I realized it wasn't in English. And I didn't recognize the language right away, so I tucked it into my pocket to save for later. I didn't know why. It could be a grocery list for all I knew, but something in my head kept telling me to take it, so I did.

Before I left the room, I took a quick peek inside his suitcase, but it was all clothes, shoes, and socks. The only thing that caught my attention was a thick black material folded under a pair of jeans. I'd touched it briefly with my fingers, but it had just felt like a thick coat or something . . . nothing out of the ordinary, considering that Washington did have some pretty cold weather.

I could hear Aunt Mae moving around in the next room, so I hurried back, grabbing the clean sheets on my way. "Are these okay?" I asked, setting them down on a nightstand and helping her change the last pillow case.

"Sure, those'll work. What took you so long? Assessing the other room? Too white?" she asked, her lip curled up slightly.

I nodded at her sling of questions. "Yeah, maybe a little color would help." What did I know about other girls? I wasn't anything like them apparently. "How old is she?"

"You know, I'm not sure, but I was under the impression that she was young, under thirteen, so you're probably right. A little color might be needed. I've heard little girls are picky, though I'm glad I didn't have one. I do a lot better with boys," she added with a laugh. "So what about you? Do you like kids?"

I shook my head vehemently. "Uh, no. I don't think I'll ever have kids." I laughed at that absurd thought.

Her eyes glinted mischievously. "Well, you know Jake just adores kids. Gets along great with them. I could see him having a whole bunch of black haired Quileute children running around one day." She smiled at me, and I realized exactly what she was hinting at.

I watched her while she fluffed one pillow after another, thinking. There were so many paths in life. If I took this one, the one with Jake, then that's exactly how my life would end up—sitting on a porch with him, watching our young kids run and play. I surprised myself by not being completely opposed to that idea, which was strange. I had always been the type of girl who disliked kids. They were loud and noisy and obnoxious. I couldn't ever see myself having any, until now . . . until Jake.

I think Aunt Mae knew where my thoughts had taken me, because her eyes kept darting up at me every few seconds. Even while we worked together to make the beds and dust off any surfaces, I would feel her eyes on me when she thought I was oblivious, so I was grateful when she said she needed to go start preparing dinner. I was on my way out the back door of the kitchen when we heard the front door open, the tiny bell above it ringing with the movement. Aunt Mae looked at me, holding up her hands that were white with flour.

"Can you?" She smiled sheepishly.

I nodded, smiling. I really hoped the parents didn't expect me to entertain their little snotty-nosed child, because that was out of the question . . . most definitely. I was just showing them to their rooms, and that was it.

I walked into the front entryway and stopped. There wasn't any loud, obnoxious child anywhere, but there _was_ another girl I assumed to be about my age standing awkwardly by the door. She hadn't seen me yet, which was good, because I was staring in awe of her beauty. She was running her tan hand through her long, honey locks. I wondered if it was fake, because no one could possibly have hair that long and that shiny, but I could tell it wasn't. She suddenly twisted in my direction and jumped.

"Oh! I didn't see you there. Hi, I'm Cecilia, Cee for short," she said with a gleaming smile, stepping forward with her hand extended. She had this bubbly voice, one that you knew was always cheerful and happy—like what I imagined Barbie sounded like, which suited her, since she looked like a Barbie. She had a tiny waist, long legs, tan skin, a perfectly sculpted face with perfect pouty lips and blue eyes—how could she not be Barbie?

I took a step, offering my own pale hand. "Bella." I sounded like a boy in comparison to her sing-song voice.

Her eyes widened, emphasizing just how blue they were. They rivaled the water surrounding Aruba's beaches. "Bella," she repeated, "oh, that's so pretty. Do you work here?"

"No, actually I'm another guest. Mae's just got her hands busy at the moment, so she sent me. Um, are you alone?" I was still trying to figure out if this was the family Mae was expecting, so I looked over her shoulder, which was hard to do since she was a good bit taller than me. I guessed she was about 5'8". Yet another perfection to accentuate _my_ flaws—I was short and pasty with plain features and mud-brown hair. The definition of an ugly duckling.

"Oh, no. My parents are coming; they're just incredibly slow." She looked around. "Wow, this place is nice. I love the architecture. Circa 1930s? I'm just guessing here." She giggled softly.

"And you're right. Good guess." Aunt Mae sidled up next to me, holding out her hand, which still had small smudges of flour in between her brown fingers. "I'm Magena, but you can call me Mae."

"Nice to meet you, Mae." She seemed to think to herself. "Is that Native American?"

Aunt Mae grinned. "Yes, actually. It means moon . . . But how did you know that?"

Cee shrugged her thin shoulders. "I love history. I've studied so much about the Native American culture. It just fascinates me," she gushed. "And this place! It's so beautiful . . . I'd love to own a place like this when I'm older. Let me know if you're in the market," she gave Mae a playful look.

I tried to tune out their laughter and conversation. I didn't know why, but it was bothering me that Mae had taken such an interest in this complete stranger . . . just because she said she loved their culture! She could just be sucking up and trying to manipulate Aunt Mae for whatever reason. I mean, what was there to gain—an extra blanket . . . another pillow? It was just a bed and breakfast.

And then a thought crossed my mind, which further irritated me—I was just jealous of this girl. But why? I considered every other girl to be much prettier than me, and it had never bothered me before . . . so why now? Or was it because I felt threatened by her? Maybe this cute blonde would try to steal Jake away from me. And who knew—he might just be persuaded.

I cringed, making up some excuse to leave the two of them, but Aunt Mae asked if I would "kindly show Cecilia to her room and help her get settled." I felt my teeth grinding together. I needed to stop; this wasn't like me.

I shoved past the sour feelings, painted a fake smile on my face, and motioned for her to follow. She seemed pleased with her room, but then again I couldn't tell what was the truth, because she was always smiling. It was irritating.

As she stepped over to the vanity mirror to inspect her appearance, I slumped down on her bed. I didn't care if I wrinkled it; I had a plan to execute.

I examined my nails in a nonchalant way. "So, Cee, where are you from?"

She looked at me in the mirror, running a thick brush through her glossy locks. "Destin, Florida. I live on the beach." She smiled sweetly.

I looked at her golden skin. I wasn't surprised. "Oh, that's nice. You have a boyfriend back home?" I asked as casually as I could. I was hoping she would say yes, so I wouldn't have to worry so much.

She laughed and shook her head. "Nope, currently unattached. What about you?"

_Great._ I was going to have to spin this another way. "There's a certain somebody," I muttered, a genuine smile creeping across my face. "You know, Mae has a son, Walker, and he's very cute," I hinted deviously.

She turned around, her eyes wide. "I don't know . . . how old is he?"

She was taking the bait. "He's only eighteen. How old are you?" I snickered internally. I was so bad.

"Seventeen."

I was about to say something, but that number made my heart sputter. It seemed so significant to me. It was suddenly hard to breathe. Why? I forced my breath back to normal and stood up.

"Well, see? That's perfect. Don't worry; I know Walker will just love you." I smiled and then left her with a slightly unsure look on her face. Now I just needed to find Walker. There wouldn't be any hesitation with him . . . I knew he wouldn't have any qualms about her. Walker never had qualms about _any_ girl.

*****

Jacob:

So this morning hadn't gone the way I'd planned it. I'd thought Bella was finally ready and willing to let her walls down, but then she'd built them right back up. Another scar tacked on to my heart like a Boy Scout badge. I should be covered in them by now. While the rest of me healed fast, my heart wasn't that lucky.

Scars are like souvenirs, and I have too many to count. That must make me like a gift shop or something. I should go into business.

_Jake?_ Walker's thoughts were clear as ever, even though he was about a mile away.

_Hmm . . ._ I answered him.

_Enough with the pity party, please. My ears can't take anymore._

I ignored him. He was a fine one to talk. I pulled up the memory from when his girlfriend . . . oh, wait, let me rephrase that . . . girlfriends dumped him and had him on the verge of tears. Nice moment for me. I smirked as he growled at the image.

Then his thoughts took on a new tone. _Jake, I think you should see this. Tracks, human ones, and I don't think it's just a tourist._

I caught up to him easily in under a minute, staring at the bare footprints in the patch of dirt. I sniffed, frowning. _Yeah, it's him. _

I sat back on my haunches, thinking to myself, but also to Walker. I didn't understand Felix's motives. And now was the perfect time when I _really_ needed to, especially since Edward had left. While that made me happy, I knew it was also a bad thing . . . Now that Felix had resurfaced, I needed all the help I could get, and that stupid vamp had just abandoned me . . . abandoned Bella.

_He's gone, but the girl isn't_, Walker thought.

I looked at him. _What? How do you know?_ I had just assumed she would leave with him. Why stay?

_I saw her earlier. She was definitely alone. Can she read minds, too?_ He sounded panicked.

_No, why?_

_That's good. You know, for a vampire, she's kind of hot. I think I could work past that smell._

I got a good idea of what he was thinking. I groaned inwardly. _You're not right, Walker. I mean, that goes against everything in us—to like our enemy. Ugh, that's just gross. It wouldn't matter how beautiful she was, if she's one of them, I wouldn't even consider it._ I felt like throwing up now, thanks to him. Talk about scarred for life.

He laughed and then grew serious. _So what do you think he wants?_

_I wish I knew. Edward didn't say._ What _would_ he want with Bella? I racked my brain for answers, but Walker's petty thoughts were distracting me. _Could you stop? I'm trying to think here. No, better yet, why don't you just go back to the house._ I looked at the sky. It should be close to dinnertime. _Tell Bella and Aunt Mae that I'll get something to eat a little later. I guess tell them I'm not feeling too great. I'm going to stay out here and keep watch. You can trade off with me after you eat._

I heard Walker's grumbling as he ran off, and then felt the silence after he'd changed back. It was a lot more peaceful now.

I sniffed around at the faint vampire stench, trying to follow his trail, but it faded off, so I had to quit. The thought that maybe I should ask Alice for help ran through my mind, but I pushed that away. I didn't exactly want help from the enemy. Besides, how did I know I could trust her?

Without warning, I felt the intrusion in my thoughts. I growled, thinking Walker was just being his usual obnoxious self.

_Jacob_, a familiar voice in my head said, _it's good to have you back, man. Where are you?_

The biggest downfall of the wolf lifestyle—no privacy.

_Hey Quil_, I sighed. I was about to open my big mouth, when I realized how much of a mistake that would be. _I'm sorry . . . I have to go. Miss you, buddy._

His confused questions faded away as I let the familiar fire run its course. The vibrations stopped, and I pulled on my shorts that were dangling from my ankle, shaking my head with anger. I'd almost done it. I'd almost let the whole pack know about Bella. It was one thing for them to find out about where I was—Edward already knew, so that didn't matter—but it was another if they found out about Bella's memory. If they knew the truth, they could let that slip intentionally or unintentionally to the Cullens. I knew Sam would; he still wanted to patch things between them. Not Quil or Embry, but they still could slip-up and think about it. I wasn't sure if Edward was headed back to Forks, but if he was, then he could rack their brains all day and find my secret.

I felt bad for just leaving Quil hanging like that, but I couldn't risk it. He couldn't know. After a few days of hiding my secrets from Edward, my head was killing me. It had just about been my breaking point—enough to make me go insane. I'd tried to concentrate on thoughts that I knew would irritate him . . . I'd come up with so many R-rated visions that even I had gone a little crazy. That wasn't me, but it'd done the job with Edward.

I walked back towards the inn where I was close enough to keep an ear on them and slumped back against a tree. I focused on every little sound, every twig snapping, every leaf crackling, every bird scurrying away—any sound could mean that Felix was near. In a little while, I'd get up and make a round or two around the perimeter of the house to check it out. But right now, I was just going to stay here and think.


	17. Chapter 17

Ch. 17

The Beginning of the End

Bella:

"I love anything outdoors . . . You'll have to show me around this place. I heard that there's so many different things to do here. I want to try them all. The camping, the bonfires, the horseback riding on the beach—"

I had been listening patiently to Cecilia drone on and on about how much she loved the outdoors, inserting occasional 'uh-huhs' and 'that's nice' when there was a brief lapse in the conversation, but with that last sentence, my head jerked up. "No! No, we can't do that!"

Cee laughed at my strangled expression. "What—are you scared, Bella? C'mon, it's not that bad. Trust me. I've been riding since I could walk, and I haven't fallen off yet."

I frowned. Of course. She was perfectly beautiful, _and_ she loved the outdoors, _and _she was coordinated. I was quickly plummeting on the scale of who's more desirable. "No, I'm not scared," I said defensively. "I just can't go riding with you." I searched my brain for a reasonable explanation, knowing she wouldn't back down.

She didn't. "Well, why not?" Her arched eyebrow shot up in a quizzical look.

"I had a bit of an accident the last time I rode." I lifted my hair and pointed to the stitches. "It's against the doctor's rules to go riding after a concussion. You know the routine—sit back, take it easy for a few days," I added.

Her hand flew to her mouth. "Oh my god, Bella! Are you okay? What happened?"

I shrugged, waving my hand at her. I hated all the attention and fuss over me, especially from someone I hardly knew. It made me feel exceptionally awkward. "Yeah, I'm fine. It was a few days ago. No big deal," I mumbled.

The front door slammed, and we both looked up to see Walker striding across the hallway, his shirt already halfway over his head. He stopped abruptly when he heard Cee's soft snicker and turned. He looked at my face and then at the beautiful blonde with her eyes diverted sitting next to me on the oversized couch. I watched as the last trace of anger washed away from his face and was replaced with a huge grin. He came forward, his hand extended in Cee's direction.

"Excuse me for the intrusion, but I don't think we've met. I'm Walker, and you must be the beautiful new guest that Mom was telling me about. Cecilia, is it?"

"Yes," Cee mumbled, her wide blue eyes darting over at me, "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Pleasure, indeed," Walker replied, his eyes resting on her embarrassed face.

I wanted to gag. He definitely knew how to play the game.

I watched them together as he asked her a few questions and almost felt sorry for trying to set her up with him. But then Jake's face appeared in my mind, and I remembered just how perfect she would be for him. I shook my head. _That_ wasn't going to happen; I wouldn't let it. It had taken me this long to realize my true feelings for him, and I was not about to lose him to some perfect blonde who liked sports, "particularly baseball and football." I cringed.

She seemed to be loosening up around him, so I stood to my feet. "Uh, I'm going to see about dinner," I offered, but neither heard me.

I started towards the kitchen but noticed Walker's discarded shirt lying by the door. Something compelled me to pick it up—maybe after years of doing laundry for both Renee and Charlie, it was ingrained in me—so I grabbed it and headed to the laundry room. Mae was obviously multitasking because there were big piles of clothes laid out on the floor and the washing machine was humming softly. I threw his shirt down onto the appropriate pile and started to walk away, but something caught my eye. Something bright red.

I knelt down, staring at the red droplets splattered across his white t-shirt. That was something you just didn't miss. It was everywhere on the front, not like maybe he'd had a 'Bella moment' with the ketchup bottle or something. It wasn't _that_ color of red. This was the color of . . . and then the smell hit me—blood. I felt the dizziness wash over me, the tingling starting in my feet that meant I was about to crumple. I held my breath and somehow made it into the hallway, away from the sickening sight and smell.

It took me a minute to recover, giving me time to wonder why Walker had blood smeared across his shirt. I came up empty. All I knew was that he had come in angry, ripping off a blood-stained shirt that hadn't been like that last time I saw him.

I managed to compose myself enough to make it to the kitchen. Mae was reaching into the oven just as I walked in.

"Oh, good. You can help me set the table, if you don't mind," she called over her shoulder.

"Sure, that's fine," I muttered, grabbing the plates she had left out and hoping I wouldn't trip and fall while carrying them. "Hey, have you seen Jake in awhile?"

She set the hot pan down and looked at me. "No, why? Is something the matter, Bella?"

I shook my head. "No, just wondering, that's all." I left her in the kitchen, concentrating on the walk to the dining room. I didn't know if I should tell her about Walker or not. But then again, what would I even say? I didn't exactly know anything.

And that was how the rest of the night went—that relentless thought bugging me over and over. I kept silent all throughout dinner, trying to look like I was just very hungry, while I really only picked at my food. Walker had chosen to sit beside Cee tonight, so he was across from me. Mae had me wedged between Cee's parents, and they kept asking me polite but obnoxious questions, to which I nodded and gave one syllable replies. I was too worried to do much of anything. Worried about Jacob _and_ Walker. Something wasn't right. I could feel it. Walker had said that Jake wasn't feeling well, but that wasn't like him. Jacob Black never missed a meal, never. Even Mae seemed to be acting strange. When Walker had told her about Jake skipping dinner, she had given him one of those looks. She hadn't even objected to the idea of Jacob not eating.

Finally dinner was over, and I jumped to my feet with my half eaten plate, heading to the kitchen. No one even noticed when I slipped out the back door. I stumbled down the porch steps and over the rocky ground, making my way slowly towards the cottage. I had gotten halfway when I felt a hand on my arm. I gasped, trying to yank my arm back, but Jacob's deep chuckle rumbled behind me. I spun toward him.

"What are you doing? I thought you were sick."

He reached up to my face, brushing a strand of hair away. "Nah, I'm better now. Sorry I had to leave you all alone in there." He nodded toward the house, grinning. "But it seems like you made it okay."

I snorted. "Barely. Wait, where'd you just come from?" I looked behind him. I hadn't seen him when I'd left the house.

"I wanted to surprise you."

"Yeah, well, feat accomplished. Scared ten years off my life," I muttered.

Jacob laughed and then grew serious. He tilted my chin up so he was looking directly into my eyes. I felt little tingles running down my spine as his gaze pierced through me.

"Bella, I have to ask you something."

"Um, okay?" My breathing started to get caught in my throat. I had no idea why, but I was nervous. There was something about him that was just . . . different.

"You know the way I feel about you. You're the only girl I've ever loved, Bells . . . my best friend. I—" He stopped abruptly. I waited for him to continue, but he was looking down at his hands. I followed his gaze. He was holding something, that I could tell, but the moonlight was obscured by the tall trees, leaving me practically blind.

"What, Jake?"

"This isn't going how I planned. I should've rehearsed," he mumbled to himself, so quietly that I wasn't sure if I heard him correctly. He heaved a sigh. "Bells, I love you. You know that, right?" He waited for my nod. "And I would do absolutely anything to be with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with _you_, Bella . . . I know that seems like too soon, but it's true. That's how I feel. So I guess what I'm trying to say is will—"

"Jacob? Will you come here for a second?" We both turned to the sound of Mae's voice calling a few feet away from the back door. I could see her dark figure standing in front of the beam of light. I wondered if she could see us clearly. I felt my cheeks start to heat up with the sudden thought.

Jacob gave a little strained chuckle. "Figures that I would get interrupted," he laughed. "Hold on for a sec?" I nodded as he kissed my forehead gently and bounded toward the porch. Before he disappeared behind the door, he yelled back over his shoulder, "Don't go anywhere."

I shook my head as if to clear my mind. This felt like a dream. This couldn't be real. But it was. Jacob was about to propose, I knew it, and I wasn't sure about my feelings on the matter. A part of me—a very big, big part of me—wanted this, yearned for it. But another part of me was aching. That part felt hollow, like I was missing a vital piece of myself. That part was screaming to say no. So which part did I listen to? I was grateful for the interruption, though I knew he wasn't too pleased. It would give me time to think, to get my thoughts in order.

I walked to the edge of the cliff to where the stairs were. They had been carved into the rock many, many years ago. I sat down on the smooth cold surface, resting my elbows on my knees, my head in my hands. So many decisions. Why did life have to be so difficult. I weighed my options in my head. I loved Jacob, I did, but marriage at eighteen? Unless we had a seriously long engagement, it seemed so rash. And he was younger than me still. I couldn't imagine what Billy would think . . . but he'd probably encourage it. That was the way for these small town folks—get married young, just like my parents had done. I kept thinking of how quick their marriage had ended, but maybe it wouldn't be like that for Jake and me. Maybe we could make it work. I mean, part of me did want this. Was it so bad to have a wonderful guy who's completely in love with you want to marry you?

But that other part just wouldn't quit with the nagging. It was tugging on the corners of my mind again, just like it had over the past week. And for some reason, _his_ face kept resurfacing in my mind. I had tried to block out all thoughts of him, and I had been successful for awhile, but it seemed like I couldn't keep it up for long. His face was clear, the beauty radiating from it like beams of light. I closed my eyes, rubbing them with my fingertips, hoping to smudge out his memory. He was part of that hollow, missing piece. He was the one who was clouding my judgment, making it impossible to decide on Jake.

I felt a breeze of air, cold air, across my face and shivered. It was too cold out here; I'd just go find Jake and wait inside. I stood to my feet, letting my eyes adjust to find the steps, and started to move forward. But I couldn't—something was blocking my path.

"Bella," the soft, musical voice from my dreams spoke to me. He took a step forward, his face becoming clearer, matching the familiar one from my mind.

I stumbled down the steps below me, somehow managing to regain my balance. I couldn't speak; I couldn't breathe. My delusions were becoming too real, too tangible.

He stepped towards me again, his hand automatically reaching out, a frown forming on his lips. "Bella, love, we need to talk. Please."

I closed my eyes, focusing on erasing this insanity for good, but I could still sense his presence. I squeezed my eyes tighter, rubbing my temples furiously. "This isn't real. This isn't real," I chanted softly over and over, knowing that it wasn't doing any good.

I peeked up at him. He was still standing directly in front of me, his face contorted into a confused expression.

"I didn't come here to condemn you, Bella. I want you to know that I understand about Jake, I always have, even though it kills me. I just want to know one thing. Just tell me the truth; no lies." He paused, taking in my odd look and my incessant chanting. "Do you love me?" he asked, his voice breaking at the end.

This was too much for me. I was obviously plummeting off the deep end. "Go away, leave me alone." I clasped my hands over my eyes to shut out my delusion, but I could still hear his ragged breathing… or maybe it was mine. "I can't deal with this anymore. I just . . . want Jacob." I hadn't realized there were tears running down my cheeks, until another cold rush of air froze them to my skin. I glanced up, and he was gone.

I didn't know what was happening to me—why I was now actually seeing things, hallucinating people that were only real to me in my head? I had been doing so good, keeping myself on the fragile ledge between sanity and insanity, but without warning, it had all come crashing down.

I didn't even try to control my sobbing. I just let the tears come. It was time. I had to talk to him about this. I had to get everything out in the open, maybe that would make this all go away. Maybe then I could move on from whatever was holding me back. Maybe then we could be happy together without me constantly messing things up. I just had to tell him everything, starting from the beginning. I could talk to him about anything; he was my best friend. So why was it so hard to muster the courage to go in there?

*****

Edward:

"Edward? What are you doing back?" Alice hopped to her feet, gliding towards me with a frown.

She obviously hadn't had a vision of my return, but that made perfect sense, since Jacob was still in Bella's life.

"I did what you said," I said bitterly, speaking to her but not bothering to look her in the eye. My pain and anger prevented any cordiality, even to a member of my family. "I did what you said, and do you know what happened?" Now my scorching gaze found hers, demanding her attention. She shook her head slowly, but I read her thoughts. She already knew. "Yes," I replied, answering her silent speculation, "she doesn't want me. She told me to my face." My voice was hard and guttural, no longer breaking and cracking with emotion.

Her tiny hand flew to my arm, gripping me roughly. "Don't."

I could tell she was searching her mind, probing for any sign of where I was going, but I hadn't an inkling myself.

I pried her hand off my arm. "Goodbye, Alice."

And because I was the fastest of my family, she couldn't catch me.

*****

Jacob:

"So what do you have to tell me that's so important?" I growled in irritation. I didn't like it when people wasted my time.

Walker shifted his weight uncomfortably. "She knows . . . about everything . . . I told her."

I looked between him and Mae. She shook her head in agreement.

"She _knows_?" I asked angrily, wishing that Walker could hear my thoughts right about now to know what was in store for him. First, he pulls me away from the most important moment in my life, and now this? He's seriously begging for a beating.

Walker glared back. "Look, I think she had a right to know what happened. She _is_ my mom . . . and you said your dad knew about it, so what's the big deal?"

I took a step forward, my anger fueling me. "The _big deal_ is that you just broke the most important rule, you moron. Do you realize what you've done? No, of course you don't." I turned around to stare at the wall, forcing my body to control itself. Not only would Sam and the elders be furious, but also if anything happened, Mae could easily be dragged into this just because she knew. I was losing everyone I loved because of this supernatural folklore-come-true.

I spun around to face Walker. "Why?" I demanded. "Why did you tell her? C'mon, it better be something good."

Mae interrupted. "Jake, calm down. It's not his fault. I found this," she held up a tattered, stained shirt, "and I jumped to conclusions. I thought he'd been in another fight. He was only defending himself. And he's right . . . I do have a right to know about this sort of thing. You shouldn't have kept it a secret from me. I _am_ a Quileute too, you know. I _have_ heard the legends . . . just never really thought they'd come true," she sighed.

"That still doesn't matter, Aunt Mae. It's against the rules to tell anyone, and he broke it. Sam would have his hide for that. And it puts you in a whole lot of trouble should anything bad happen."

"Like what? Is there something else going on that I should know about?" Her voice took on the instinctive maternal quality.

Walker looked at me. I stared down at the floor. It would be hopeless trying to lie to her. "There's just been some complications lately. It's nothing you need to worry about."

"Complications?" She stared equally at the both of us. "That doesn't cut it with me. You both are going to tell me everything, the complete story, not leaving out any details," she said, pulling Walker's ear back at a painful angle.

I groaned, glaring at Walker. "See? If you had just kept your mouth shut, none of this would be happening."

"It's not my fault that you have ridiculous rules," he challenged, taking a step forward.

"They're not my rules; I didn't make them up. And they're supposed to be binding."

He started to open his mouth, but I held up my hand. "Bella's coming."

Aunt Mae stepped forward. "Jake, I should warn you. Bella found the shirt. She's bound to be suspicious with all the blood on this thing. She'll start asking questions."

I felt another surge of anger swell up. "Dammit, Walker. If you weren't so careless when you hunt. . ." My voice trailed off as I heard loud, unsure footsteps on the porch. The door swung open, and Bella stepped inside, her face all puffy and red. She looked like she had been crying. I forgot about my argument and rushed to her side.

"Bells? What's wrong? You've been crying."

She glanced between me and the others and shook her head, giving a small smile. "I haven't," she said quickly, "It's just cold out there. The wind makes my eyes water." She stared down at her feet.

Aunt Mae broke the awkward silence first. "We'll talk later. Right now, we should be entertaining our guests." She started down the hallway, pulling Walker right along with her but stopped and called over her shoulder, "You too, Jake."

I was still staring at Bella, trying to figure out if I had been the cause of her crying. It was definitely possible. But was it the happy kind of crying or the sad kind? Sometimes it was so difficult to tell with girls. They cried about anything.

She looked up and smiled. "We can talk later. C'mon." She grabbed my hand in her cold one and tried to pull me from the kitchen, but I stood still.

"Are you sure? 'Cause I'll stay in here with you if that's what you want."

She pulled again on my hand, laughing. "No, I'm fine, Jake. Really. But you need to get in there before your aunt gets more mad. The faster we get this over with, the faster we can resume our little conversation." She had this sly look to her, one that I'd seen before when Bella was up to something, which was rare, but still I remembered that look. She was hinting around to my proposal. So was that, like, a _yes_? I never liked to get my hopes up . . . but what the heck. I'll take that as a yes.

I felt myself grinning like a kid and being led down the hall to the open living room, where I was supposed to chat politely with three guests that I really couldn't care less about at a time like this, while hiding the fact that I was insanely happy because I had just been told (sort of, kind of) that I was getting the one thing I'd ever _really_ wanted.

I stepped into the room, Bella by my side. Aunt Mae was sitting to my right with an older couple. She motioned for me, so I obliged. I shook their hands, said hello, acted like the perfect gentleman that I wasn't, all while beaming like an idiot. I vaguely felt like an idiot too, but with Bella beside me, she was pretty much all I could think about. My mind kept slipping to her, and I really hoped I wasn't answering a question like, "How are you?" with, "Bella's great, really great. Wonderful, beautiful, just _great._" But I was pretty sure my replies were acceptable because I didn't get any strange looks.

I heard the man say something about his daughter and point behind me, so I turned, searching the room, and found Walker and some girl standing with their backs toward us, looking out the window. I walked towards them, eager to finish the introductions and be alone with Bells. Just as they turned away from the view, something within me changed. I felt something switch on inside me. Like a magnet, I was involuntarily drawn closer and closer. My mind was somewhere behind me, discarded, while my feet propelled me forward, until I was standing a few feet away from her.

And it had happened. The sun and the moon and all the other planets had realigned, and gravity no longer grounded me. The gravitational pull no longer involved the earth; it belonged solely to the drop dead gorgeous blonde smiling politely at me. I had said I would laugh when or if I ever imprinted, but now I couldn't even breathe. I couldn't laugh, I couldn't talk, I couldn't even stutter. I was speechless, partly from the unexpected surprise, and partly from the weight of this new gravity that held me within an arm's length of her. _So this is what getting your choices taken away feels like._ Well, I had to admit . . . It felt pretty damn good.

"Hi, I'm Cecilia." Her voice was quiet, sort of shy, but her smile was bold, no shyness there. It was irresistible.

_Cecilia._ Such a pretty name . . . such a pretty face. I found myself lost in her eyes, the blue depths distracting. I didn't hear the footsteps coming up behind me. I barely heard Walker laugh and say in a mocking tone, "That's Jake. He's a little special." I barely even heard Bella's soft voice saying my name in her questioning, worried tone.

My head turned quickly. "Bella?" I asked in surprise. It had seemed as if Cecilia and I were the only ones in the room. And then as her name rolled off my tongue, something else clicked inside my brain. "Bella," I repeated, realization hitting me hard like a ton of bricks in the gut.

Her warm brown eyes stared up at me, waiting, but waiting for what? For me to act normal. But I wasn't now. Nothing was normal now. Everything had changed so completely in a matter of seconds. What was I going to do? Bella had been my life. And now?

I looked back at Cecilia. Her eyebrows were raised slightly, and she was glancing between Bella, me, and Walker. I wanted to say something, anything, but nothing came. How had the rest of the pack handled this? But then again, they hadn't been in the same situation. Oh no . . . they had it easy compared to me. How was I going to make things right with Bella after everything I had done? And especially now, when I was more than sure that she loved me. I had screwed things up worse than I'd ever done before. I was to blame. I would have to set things right. But where would I start first? Tell Bella the truth? Or have her figure it out on her on. That might take months—way too long. And then there was Edward. _Edward_—shit! He had left. The only other time he had left Bella, he had gone to have a little rendezvous with the homicidal leeches in Italy. I didn't know much about those Volturi vamps, maybe a thing or two, but I did know that you didn't mess with them. And if you did, you were gone . . . for good.

"Shit! Shit, shit, shit!" I started for the door, but Aunt Mae blocked my path.

"Jacob?" she asked, too many questions forming on her lips, but none making it to words.

"I have to go. I'm sorry. I'll tell you later." I pushed past them, running out the door to a chorus of confused questions.

This was supposed to be a happy time for me, imprinting on my soulmate and all, but it wasn't. My screwups were standing in the way, as usual, and if I didn't do something about them soon, it was all going to go downhill from there. I couldn't let that happen . . . definitely not to Bella. _Especially_ not to Bella.

I ran as fast as I could into the forest, ripping my clothes off in the process, and felt the vibrations rip through my body. I changed in mid air, coming down quietly and softly on four paws, feeling the adrenaline and blood pulsing through my veins.

I took off in no particular direction, searching the air for that familiar stench. I found it about ten miles away.

I slowed as I saw the figure—but not the figure I was hoping for—swing around, lowering herself into a defensive crouch. "What do _you_ want?" Alice spat out.

It was a good thing it was dark because my clothes were lying on the ground somewhere ten miles back, although that probably wouldn't matter since her vision was just as clear as mine. I changed back into my human form for communication purposes and stood there awkwardly.

"Where's Edward?" I asked, ignoring her smirk.

"Why would you care, mutt?"

"Alice, I know you don't like me, and that's okay, because frankly I hate you too, but this is important. I have to find him. There's not much time."

"What? Is something wrong with Bella?"

Bad choice of words—she was getting the wrong idea. "Um, sort of. Nothing life-or-death . . . well, at least not for Bella, but still, I need to find him before he does something stupid."

"Too late, dog. I don't know where he is. He obviously hasn't made up his mind on the matter because I'm not getting anything. But you tell me what you know. What's wrong with Bella? If you don't tell me, I'll strangle it from you, I swear!"

I took in a deep breath. I couldn't delay it any longer. Now or never. "You want the condensed version?"

She shook her spiky hair. "Nope. I want the truth. Now."

I took another deep breath. "I've made a mistake. One that I regret . . . but can't be erased. It started with a little white lie, but it's grown into something huge."

"Spill it, dog," she said impatiently.

"I made Bella believe that Edward was dead. At first she didn't believe it, but then something happened . . . she's completely erased any memory of him. Edward doesn't exist to her anymore."

She stared at me, dumbfounded, then gave a shrill laugh. "Do you think me a fool, Jacob? Seriously, do you?"

I shook my head slowly from side to side. "What are—"

She cut me off. "Come on, Jacob, you're not that clever to pull off something like that."

"I'm not lying. I wish I was. But that's the truth. Bella has no memory of him. At all. She doesn't remember you, or any of the Cullens . . . she doesn't even know about me . . . what I am."

I saw the understanding wash over her. "So you're telling me that Bella's repressed all of her memories?"

"Just the ones that are connected to him."

She started mumbling to herself. "Yes, it makes sense. She would have thought Edward had died, so repression would have been her only way of coping with the pain. A subconscious coping mechanism."

"Wait, how do you know about that?"

She looked up at me with a piercing glare. "I have a double Master's degree in Psychology, thank-you-very-much," she snapped. Then her voice grew softer, almost sad. "Look, when I was . . . human . . . I spent my _entire_ life locked up in an asylum. That's what happens when you predict visions—people have you locked away in the loony-bin because they think you're crazy." She paused and looked at me, and I finally got a glimpse into the tormented soul of Alice Cullen. "After seeing the good that Carlisle did for so many, I wanted to be able to understand the mind and help people like he does . . . but it's hard for me—being around all those people. I'm not as strong as Carlisle." Her voice faded away in thought.

I was quiet. I hadn't known that about Alice. I almost felt bad for her, that she had had one shitty life after another. First, having been assumed crazy, locked away in a psych hospital . . . And now this—having to live life trapped forever in the body of a monster. I wasn't sure which was worse.

"So do you think you can help her? Is there a way to make her remember?" It was one of many questions that I had. I didn't know how I could tell Bella the truth. Even if I told her, she might not believe me, or might not remember anyway.

Alice returned to her normal self and glared at me. "It's not that easy. She has to have things trigger her memory, but it could take forever for it to come back." She sighed, lowering herself to the ground out of exasperation, and buried her face in her white hands.

I watched her silently for a few minutes, until she looked up at me. "_Why_ did you do this, Jacob?" Her voice didn't hold any anger or contempt, just frustration and what sounded like exhaustion . . . but that didn't seem right.

I shrugged. "Because I didn't know what else to do . . . I loved Bella more than anything and everything. I couldn't stand to lose her. She _was_ everything to me."

She stared at me for awhile. "You did all that because you love Bella?" It wasn't meant to be a question, but I still nodded. I could hear the awe in her voice, and it confused me. I had expected a torrent of bad names all directed at me.

"I know it sounds drastic and careless and stupid, but what can I say? I was blinded by love. I loved her so much."

Her head jerked up suddenly, her face twisted into an odd look. She jumped to her feet, coming to stand a foot away. I wrinkled my nose from the smell. "Lov_ed?!_" she asked loudly, emphasizing the past tense. "What's _that_ supposed to mean? You did love her, but now, not so much?" Her voice had an edge to it. I took a step back.

"Alice, don't overreact. I'll explain."

She kept advancing. "Don't _overreact?!_ Oh, that's easy for _you_ to say, hypocrite!"

"I didn't want for it to happen—I had no control over it! I didn't ask to imprint! I would have been perfectly content with Bella for the rest of my life," I yelled out.

"Imprint!" she shrieked, "What?"

"That's what I was getting at . . . I just imprinted. A part of me will always love Bella, but things have changed. I don't want to hurt her anymore . . . that's why I _have_ to find Edward. If my lies were to come true, if Edward really did die, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. I can't have Bella hurt like that from both me _and_ him. It'll be bad enough when it looks like I've just traded her in. . . He _has_ to come back to her. If she has him, it won't be so bad. I was always number two anyway." In that single paragraph, I realized the extent of the damage I had caused. All because of my selfishness . . .no, for love . . . there were people I'd heard of who had done crazy things in the name of love. . .

Alice grew quiet again. "I can't believe you did all this. Do you know how much trouble you've caused?! If Bella's in love with you—and only you, because to her there is no Edward—it's going to break her heart. Unless she remembers what you are, she's not going to understand why you're being a typical male and dumping one girl for another." Then her eyes widened, her mouth twitching. "Oh, that poor thing. I pity this girl who's stuck with you for the rest of her life." She snickered. "Tell me . . . what's she like?"

I felt all my worries start to melt away at the thought of her. "Well, I barely know her, but she's beautiful . . . tall, blonde, tan . . . and her smile is—"

"Ugh, so you're a typical _fickle_ male. . ." Alice started to walk away.

"Where are you going?" I asked with irritation.

She waved her hand at me. "I can't be around you . . . You're too shallow."

"Says the girl who jumps at every possible chance to turn Bella into one of those girls from your magazines. And don't deny it—I've seen your handiwork at prom, among other times. That's calling the kettle black, don't ya think? At least I can see her true beauty."

She whirled on me. "Don't test me, mutt! I'll make you into dog chow right now."

"Whatever. . ." I grumbled, knowing good and well that the Cullens never followed through with their threats. "So are you going to help me or not?"

"Help_ you_? Hah! No, I'm strictly in this for Bella."

"Fair."

I started to walk away, but Alice grabbed my arm, her fingers digging into my skin. I turned to pry her icy hand off me, but I noticed her face—it was one of pure dread. Her eyes were empty. She was staring off into the distance but seeing nothing. She sucked in a sharp breath and gripped my arm even harder.

"Go! Jacob, you have to go! Now! They're in danger!" The words came out in rushed, hoarse whisper.

I stood still, not understanding, still staring in confusion at her terrified face.

"Go? Go where? Who?"

She pushed me in the direction of the inn. "You have to get back. They're coming for them. Bella and Cecilia are not safe . . . not with only one novice werewolf as protection. You have to go now, Jacob. Get them away from here. I'll find you, I promise. But you have to go now!"

"Wait . . . Cecilia? _She_ was in your vision?" My heart started to beat out of my chest.

"Yes! I heard one of them say her name. Now go!"

And then she was gone. I still didn't know who was coming or what was happening, but I could suddenly feel the danger. Something _was_ out there. Something that was preying on the two people I loved most.

I let the heat tear through my body and began to run. I didn't know the time frame. I didn't have a plan. But I had to protect them . . . at whatever costs.


	18. Chapter 18

Ch. 18

Running

Jacob:

I could see the lights in the near distance. The living room. I was almost there. With another blast of energy, I made it to the house within seconds. Walker stepped from the shadows, his arms extended toward me, a bundle of clothes in his hands.

"Thought you might need these," he said, smiling wryly.

"Thanks," I muttered, trying to catch my breath.

I pulled on the shorts and t-shirt quickly, frowning at the tightness of the clothes. I was still a lot bigger than Walker; he hadn't had enough time to catch up in the growth department. Maybe that was what Alice had been referring to. He _was_ a novice at the werewolf thing, but he also wasn't strong enough or big enough to ward off any of our enemies.

He took a step closer. "Jake, what's goin' on? Why'd you leave in such a hurry?"

I raked my hand through my hair and frowned. "I honestly don't know right now. I went to see Alice. She had a vision. She didn't tell me what happened, but it's not good. Someone's coming for them." I pointed to the living room window where Bella and Cee were sitting on the couch together, their backs to us. "I don't really know what I'm going to do, but I have to get them out of here. I need your help, Walker. You're part of the pack now."

I let the request hang in the air. It was his decision to make; I wouldn't force him.

"And what about my mom? Is she in danger?" His face took on a worried expression. I knew it was hard for him; he wouldn't leave her if there was the possibility that something could happen to her. I watched his face, already anticipating his answer. No, he wouldn't leave her, especially not after losing his father. She was all he had left. And even behind that tough exterior, I knew he was still hurting over his dad's death. So I made the decision for him.

"I can manage on my own. You need to stay here with her." I started to walk away, but he stopped me.

"Here. Take these." A pair of car keys dangled from his fingers. "It'll give you the horsepower that yours won't." He gave a dry smile. Always trying to put humor in everything. We had that in common.

So he was making fun of my restored car. Normally, I would've punched him, but it'd have to wait.

I nodded at him in thanks and turned towards the door.

Aunt Mae met me at the door, a worried and slightly angry look on her face. She noticed my change in clothes but didn't question why.

"Jacob Black, you scared the living daylights out of my guests . . . and me, for that matter! _What_ is going on?"

I placed my hands on her shoulders. "I can't tell you, Aunt Mae. You have to understand, it's for your own good. But I have to get Bella and Cecilia out of here."

I left her trembling in the foyer and walked into the living room. Bella jumped up as soon as she saw me, running haphazardly towards me. She wrapped her arms around me, and for a second, everything felt like it had only thirty minutes before.

She stepped back and looked me in the eyes. She was worried and scared and confused, I could tell, but so was I. How could I possibly fix things now?

"Jake, what's going on?"

I was sick and tired of trying to answer that question when I couldn't.

I looked at her, trying to portray the calmness that I didn't feel. "Bella, we need to leave. I have to get back to Forks tonight."

She stared at me, puzzled, her eyes searching mine for the truth. "Why? What's wrong. Wait. Is it Billy? Or Charlie? Did something happen to them?"

I hesitated, trying to decide what to tell her, but she misread the pause.

"Something did happen. Tell me Jake."

"No," I sighed, suddenly feeling exhausted. How long had it been since I'd slept? "Nothing's wrong with Charlie. Billy's just . . . not . . . feeling great." There it was, another lie. How many lies would I have to bury myself in before I could make things right? "I need to be there for him . . . in case it gets any worse." I'd never stumbled over lies like this before; what was wrong with me?

As if she knew I was lying, her brow furrowed, but for once, she didn't argue. "Okay, just let me get my things. I'll be a minute."

She started for the door, and I motioned to Walker to keep watch over her. Whoever was after us wasn't here yet, but that didn't mean that I was going to let Bella wander off on her own. I didn't need her in any more accidents.

Without thinking, I started to pace. Cee quickly interrupted my thoughts. She came up behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder. I turned at the unexpected gesture.

"Hey, it'll be okay. I'm sure he'll be fine." I could see the concern on her face.

I nodded, playing the part of the dutiful son who was upset. "Thanks, I hope so." I paused again. "Can I ask you something? Kind of a favor?"

She nodded. "Sure, of course."

"Well, I was sorta thinking maybe you could come with us . . . It would keep Bells preoccupied. She wouldn't feel the need to worry if she had a friend to distract her. And it would mean a lot to me," I added, hoping she would feel pressured to tag along, if not I'd just have to kidnap her to keep her safe. But I hoped it wouldn't come to that; that was no way to start off a relationship. (Ironic . . . wasn't that exactly what I'd done to Bella?) And plus, I was betting on the fact that she would want to out of free will . . . or simply because of the imprinting process.

But without even a moment's hesitation, she nodded. "Yeah, I'll go. I'll need to tell my parents and grab my bag, but don't worry, they won't object. I'm the only child; I get my way. I have to warn you, Jacob Black, I'm the master at manipulating," she said, glancing over her shoulder as she bounded up the stairs.

I stared after her. Was she flirting with me already? Her tone had certainly sounded like it.

I shook my head. I needed to focus on the task at hand. No time for this imprinting business. I could enjoy that after I had saved her and Bella from whoever the heck it was that was after them. Damn . . . why hadn't Alice just told me in the first place? It would've saved a lot of trouble.

The door snapped shut, and Bella appeared in the doorway, her bag slung over her shoulder. "I'm ready." She glanced at the empty couch. "Where's Cee? I wanted to say bye."

"No need. I'm going with yall. Jake convinced me to go to keep you company," Cee said as she stepped lightly off the staircase. I was amazed at how graceful she moved. I guessed that was because I had spent so much time around Bella.

Bella shrugged, glancing in my direction, but I was already headed to the door. There wasn't any more time to waste.

I led them out back to the black 1970 Ford Mustang. Walker always did like to impress.

I stuck the key in the ignition, enjoying the sound of the engine starting effortlessly, and squealed out of there. Within minutes, we were on the highway, heading back to Forks, to the only place I knew to go: the Cullens' home.

*****

Bella:

I glanced at the speedometer and bit my lip. Too fast, way too fast. Something was definitely wrong. Something bad was happening, and he wanted me to just go along with whatever harebrained plan he was formulating. He thought he was good at lying, but the truth was that he was just as bad as me. I had seen it in his eyes; Billy wasn't sick. If he had been, Jacob would've been a lot more concerned.

I touched his arm lightly, flinching when he jumped in his seat. "Jacob? Please don't lie to me," I whispered, trying not to wake Cee in the back seat. "I need to know what's happening. Is he after me again? Felix?"

He stared at me for a long time, then turned his attention to the road, ignoring my question.

"Jake, please don't do this. Please don't treat me like I'm some kid who can't face the truth. I'm tough; I can handle whatever it is."

"No, you can't, Bella. This is much bigger than you," he replied curtly.

I was getting angry; I could feel it. Call it stubbornness or stupidity . . . or both. Whichever, it was making me want to face the problem head-on. This was _my_ fight after all. _I_ was the one Felix wanted. I should just go back there and face him. Give him what he wants. But why me? Did Jacob know the reason why I was being targeted? Maybe he did and that was why he was protecting me. But he would never admit it . . . and he would never tell me the reason either.

I sat back in my seat, anger stewing in me. I felt like punching the dashboard. I could feel Jake's eyes burning through me. He wanted me to look at him, but I wouldn't give him the pleasure. Sometimes he could seriously irritate me more than anyone else I knew.

And then came that familiar pang . . . that feeling that there was something, some memory, just beneath the surface that I just couldn't uncover. And that frustrated me even more.

"Bells? Do you remember the first time we met?" Jacob's voice was soft, so soft it sounded pained, like he was sad. I hadn't thought about how stressed out and exhausted he must be right now. I could feel my anger towards him draining.

"Of course. At the bonfire on the beach."

He was quiet for a minute. "But do you remember all the details?"

I laughed. "That was awhile ago. I'm bound to forget some of the minor details."

"Yeah, I know. But like, do you remember who you came with?"

I laughed again. Why was he asking these silly questions? "Yeah, friends from school. And then we ran into you and a few others at the bonfire. Jake, seriously? My memory's not that bad."

"Okay, but do you remember what we talked about?"

I looked at him. "What's with the interrogation?"

"I'm just wondering. . . "

"Ugh," I sighed in exasperation, "of course I remember. It was the first time we'd seen each other in years. We talked about when we were kids, my truck, your sisters, I don't know . . . we were catching up."

"But do you remember what we talked about when we walked along the beach?"

That same feeling was back. I could see us both walking down the beach, talking, but I couldn't remember what about. I was there, but I wasn't. It was a blur.

"Or how about prom? Do you remember going to prom?"

I blinked several times. It was like I was watching a slideshow of my life but couldn't recall specific things. I barely could recall prom. It was fuzzy, but I remembered dancing with Jake. We were both bad, awkward . . . My leg had been in a cast. Why had it been in a cast? I didn't remember. But that wasn't _that_ unusual, considering that all my accidents usually ran together. I couldn't separate one scar from the next. But a broken leg? That was serious. I should remember. And since when did _I_ go to school dances? Someone must have been very good at persuading. Had it been Jacob? He had to have been my date. Who else would I have gone with? Surely not Mike Newton.

"Or what about graduation? And the party we went to after. Do you remember that? Who's house it was at?"

A scene popped into my head as he talked. A big white house . . . decorations covering every surface . . . Jacob showing up, gift in hand, flanked by his friends from the reservation.

I looked down at the bracelet on my wrist, the little carved wolf that Jacob had made for me rested beside the heart-shaped diamond. He had said that an old friend had given me the charm, but I couldn't remember who. And it just didn't sound right—I didn't have any old friends who would give me something like this. Just acquaintances from back home.

I slumped back in my seat, thinking back on all the slideshow images that had appeared in my mind and the ones that I had dreamed about in the past. So familiar, yet so foreign.

"I'm tired. Do you mind if I take a nap?" I asked Jake softly, faking a yawn.

He sighed heavily. "No, Bells. Go ahead." He sounded frustrated. Why would he be frustrated?

I closed my eyes and began to search through every memory that I had since coming to Forks. Some were very distinct, not in the least bit hazy, while others were all smeared together. It was like I had a beginning and an end but nothing in between.

I couldn't tell how long I sat like this, pretending to be asleep so Jacob wouldn't interrogate me anymore, but soon I _was_ asleep, my dreams filled with places and faces of people I wanted to recognize but couldn't. The one that lingered: a petite girl with raven hair all done up in spikes, a mischievous smirk across her pretty face. But the one thing that really caught my attention was the pair of golden eyes, just like the ones of my illusion, staring back at me.

*****

Jacob:

"Turn it up. I like this song."

I glanced in the rearview mirror at Cee. She'd been asleep for awhile, but yet not a single hair on her head was out of place. She was beautiful. "Sorry, did I wake you?" I turned the volume up enough that she could hear it without waking Bella.

She smiled. "No, you didn't." Everything about her was perfect, even her voice. Like music.

"So you really like classic rock?"

"Of course. It's the best." She leaned forward, smiling, and I caught a whiff of her perfume. I couldn't place it. It smelled almost familiar, sweet but not overwhelming. Maybe something my sisters used to wear. I couldn't remember.

I laughed. "I agree. So what else do you like?" I wanted to learn everything about her.

She bit her lip unconsciously, thinking about my question. "Hmm, well," she said, drawing the word out slowly, emphasizing her southern drawl. I tried to hide my grin. "I like being outdoors, I love sports, definitely music, eating . . . a lot," she added with a laugh, "um . . . oh, and rollercoasters. Definitely rollercoasters. I love the exhilaration." She laughed suddenly. "Yeah, I pretty much sound like a tomboy, don't I?"

"Nah, I like that in a girl." I stole a glance at her through the mirror again, and to my surprise, she was looking back. No hesitation, no shyness. "You know, in Forks the favorite pastime is cliff diving. Now there's some exhilaration."

She sat forward and peered at me with a sly look. "My dad takes me bungee jumping every year . . . That's kind of like cliff diving . . . just without the cord attached."

I shook my head. "No. Definitely not. No way."

She sat back, her arms crossed, and stared at me with a smirk. "I don't shy away from danger, Jacob. I'm invincible." She gave a small chuckle, like she was laughing at some inside joke. I looked back at her. She was serious. So she was fearless . . . just like Bella. I'd really have to keep an eye on her.

"Yeah, and so am I." I laughed too, knowing that I was far more invincible than this girl would ever be.

She continued to stare at me through the mirror, not talking but still smiling. Finally she said, "You're a difficult one, Jacob, but just you wait—soon you'll give in. Like I said, I'm the master." She looked smug, like she had already gotten her way.

I sighed, knowing I was not going to win this one. I could feel myself giving in, weakening, just as she'd said. She was right. This girl was going to win every battle—the curse of imprinting. I had hopelessly and completely fallen for her. And she would always get her way because of that. Maybe I was now understanding Edward just a little and why he found it hard to say _no_ to Bella.

"C'mon, just go ahead an' say it . . . you'll take me."

"I'll think about it," I replied. But I already knew I was going to say yes and so did she.

Then her face lit up. "Oh, I get it." She chuckled. "You're just scared that I'll upstage you . . . that you'll look bad in front of a girl," she taunted.

"No, I'm not," I said defensively. I hadn't thought about it, but I guess I was. I was so used to being the hero for Bella. I had never been shown up by a girl; I wouldn't know how to handle that. And by this girl that I liked so much? I felt my face heating up at the thought.

"You're cute when you blush, Jake," she teased with a grin.

"Sure, sure," I mumbled sarcastically, but I could still feel the heat.

"So when are you going to take me? Sometime soon?" She just wouldn't let it drop.

"Fine . . . I'll take you. _But_ you have to follow _my_ rules. No getting around it."Bella stirred beside me, her eyes fluttering open to rest on me. "Take? Take where?"

"Oh, good . . . you're awake. Jacob here is no fun on a road trip." Cee motioned to me, her eyes glancing up at me in the mirror, teasing yet again. "So I finally persuaded him to take me cliff diving. Sounds fun, huh?"

Bella turned to her, a look of surprise on her face. Cee must have misread it, because she frowned.

"Oh, Bella, I completely forgot about your concussion . . . I hate it that you have to take it easy. You'll still come along, though, won't you?"

Bella turned to stare at me. "Yeah, doctor's orders. So tell me, Jake, when did cliff diving get safe?"

I couldn't meet her eyes. This wasn't supposed to happen. She was getting mad and jealous, and she had every right to be, especially with how things were looking. Couldn't she just remember already? Save her the extra pain and misery?

"It's not. But she was going to do it with or without me, so I'd rather her do it under my conditions." I looked back at Cee.

"I know, I know. Your rules. I'm not going to try anything stupid."

*****

Jacob:

At first I thought my mind was playing tricks on me. Little sleep and lots of driving would do that to you. But the voice didn't stop; it grew louder . . . and more impatient. I pulled off at the next gas station I'd come across. I was almost done filling up the car, when I saw it—the quick flash of white darting behind the building. I checked on Bells and Cee, asleep again in the car, and followed the figure.

I stepped around the corner and like a bolt of lightning, she hit me hard across my shoulder. My skin burned from the touch, and I let out an instinctive growl. I should've been ready for that one.

"Why'd you have to do that?" I spat at her in anger.

She stuck her chin up, either from defiance or because she was so short she had to look up to me. But then again, so did everybody.

"Why did you ignore me for the last three miles?! You know, mutt, I _am_ helping you out. If you were smart, you'd be nice."

"And if you knew what was good for you, leech, you wouldn't go around slapping werewolves and taking them by surprise. One of these days you're gonna wish you hadn't."

Alice snorted. "I hope you enjoy that fantasy, Jacob, because that's all it is. I could take you any day . . . with blindfolds on."

I stepped back, sizing her up. "C'mon, midget. Make my day; keep your promise . . . Oh, wait, but the Cullens are all talk." I so loved messing with her. She made it fun. At least she actually hit once in awhile, unlike Edward.

But she only glared at me. "Now's not the time. How long until you reach Forks?"

"With all those degrees, you should be able to calculate it just fine."

"I'm on foot, you moron. I don't have to bother with trite human matters."

I tried to calm my anger. I did need her help. I couldn't risk alienating myself. I needed an ally on their side right now.

"Probably another hour. There's a lot of cops on this stretch of the highway, so I'm having to watch my speed. Have you found out anything?" I leaned closer, smirking as her nose wrinkled in disgust. Didn't she think I was in the same place? They smelled far worse than I possibly could.

"Keep some distance before I vomit. Do you use soap?" She waved her hand in front of her face. Enough with the drama queen crap. . .

"Alice," I growled. Now I was impatient. How long had it been since I'd left the girls? "What was in your vision?"

She paused, looking up at me with concern. "It's worse than I thought. Do you remember last winter? And the army that Victoria accrued? The fight?"

I nodded, unsure of where she was going with this.

"It's happening again."

"What? I don't understand. Who's leading it?"

Her eyes flickered away. "Victoria and Felix."

"What?! That's not possible . . . she's nothing but ashes now, just like the rest of them. Maybe your vision was wrong."

"My vision wasn't wrong!" she hissed defensively. "I know what I saw, and I saw Victoria. That was her. It was definitely _her._"

I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. How had this happened? How had two of our biggest enemies somehow managed to come together to take us out?

"The reason I left was because I needed to do a little research, learn about Victoria so we could know what we're up against." She sighed and rubbed between her eyes like she had a headache . . . like that was even possible. "I cannot even believe that this is true, that this is happening." She looked back up at me, ready to release the bomb. "The Victoria we thought we killed wasn't her. It was her sister."

She let her words hang there, while I tried to get a hold of myself. I couldn't believe what I was hearing—the fact that I had basically predicted this seemed unreal. I had made up a lie about Victoria . . . and lo and behold, it had turned out to be the truth. Somehow this was my fault then. I should sacrifice myself, although I knew that wouldn't help. The last time I'd gone around saying that, Bella had almost had a heart attack. I couldn't cause her more pain on top of all the pain I had just inflicted. But I still felt like this was my battle. I should face Victoria and Felix and whoever the hell else all by myself.

"I did this," I heard myself say. My mind wasn't my own right now; I was functioning on autopilot. "It's my fault. I did this."

Alice looked annoyed. "What are you talking about?" she snapped.

I looked into her dark eyes. It had obviously been too long since she had hunted. No wonder the crankiness. "I never told you how I was able to make Bella believe that Edward had died."

Her foot started tapping. "No, you didn't. And why does that suddenly matter?"

"Because I told Bella that Victoria wasn't dead. The Victoria we killed in that field was her twin. And she believed me. I just thought it would be a good lie, one that she wouldn't second guess . . . I never believed it would be true."

"If you're joking with me, mutt, it isn't funny. We've got serious issues to take care of, so cut the crap."

"Alice, I know you have no reason to trust me or believe me, but I swear that I am not joking."

She leaned back against the bricks and sighed. "That doesn't make any sense at all. How would you just happen to think up something like that . . . and then it turns into the truth? You're not _that_ smart or creative." I let the criticism go.

I shook my head. It couldn't be explained . . . unless werewolves suddenly had special abilities, and I was turning out to be psychic.

I started to open my mouth to talk, but the scream caught me off. Bella's scream. Alice's eyes darted to mine. "I'll do a check on the perimeter." And she was gone in a flash.

I took off in a run towards the car, straining to hear or smell anything that just wasn't right, but nothing alerted me. Everything seemed calm . . . other than Bella's breathless panting.

I reached the passenger door and wrenched it open. "Bella? What happened? Are you okay?"

Her wild eyes flew to mine. "Bad dream," she said calmly, but her eyes now darted around as if looking for something. "I'm fine. It was just a bad dream." Her breathing started to slow to a normal rate. She reached up to smooth her tangled mess of hair, and I saw it. The claw marks were red and swollen on her forearms, starting at her wrists and etching up to the crease. She noticed my stare. "Self-inflicted." She gave a weak smile; she was so used to getting hurt that it was funny to her. Well, not to me. . .

I gently reached for her arm, inspecting it closely. "How? What happened?"

She shrugged. "I thought they were really after me. I guess I got a little out of control. Don't worry, Jake. It doesn't even hurt." But I saw her flinch when she ran a finger across the scratches.

"Bella? Who did you think were after you?" I was thinking maybe her dream hadn't actually been a dream . . . but that didn't make sense. No one had been here, or Alice and I would've known.

"I don't know." She paused, biting her lip, and thinking to herself. "But I think I've seen them before . . . They wore long, dark robes, everything hidden, except for their eyes . . . blood red eyes." She shuddered, then looked up at me and smiled. "I'm really losing it, aren't I?"

I couldn't answer for a minute. I didn't know how to respond, so I bent down and peered into her eyes. The wild look was gone. "Are you going to be okay?"

She nodded quickly.

I stood up to see Cecilia walking back to the car. "Where have you been?" In my preoccupation with Bella, I hadn't even noticed that she wasn't in the car.

She pointed behind her. "Restroom." Then she noticed Bella's hair. "Dang, what happened to you?"

"She had a bad dream. She's fine, though. And I don't want you just wandering around by yourself. Something bad could happen."

She smiled. "What, like the boogeyman getting me?" She laughed and crawled into the back seat.

"Something like that," I muttered.

I went inside to pay. As I handed over the money, the clerk started to grin.

"You Jacob?" he asked in a rough voice, the grin never leaving his face.

"Yeah?" I narrowed my eyes. How would he know my name?

He handed me a folded up piece of paper. "Some black haired chick asked me to give this to you. You're lucky, boy. You're a natural with the ladies."

"Uh, thanks." I had no idea what he was talking about.

"You have fun, ya hear?" he yelled after me as I walked out the door. What was that about? The guy had done everything short of patting me on the back.

I unfolded the paper to see a perfect script scrawled inside. _Meet me at my house. Go straight there. And bring Bella and Cecilia; I want them with us at all times._ I chuckled to myself. Oh, that's why. Some people let their imaginations run wild with them. I glanced back into the store. The guy was leaning over the counter, still grinning at me, his thumb stuck in the air. I laughed. Me? A Casanova? Yeah, right. I was strictly a one woman type of guy.

I hopped in the car, and in seconds we were back on the road.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Things Aren't Always What They Seem

Bella:

Their red eyes glowed in the darkness . . . innumerable pairs of unblinking ominous red slits hidden behind dark cloaks that billowed out with every step . . . toward me. The figure in the front reached out one long frail hand, the feathery skin stretched taut over the stone surface, his finger with its claw-like nail beckoning me, drawing me closer. I couldn't stop my legs from carrying forward; they had their own drive, their own force, completely separate from my mind. It screamed to run away, but I watched, almost mesmerized, as the figure slowly ensnared me. It was a trap to which I couldn't turn back. This predator had me under his spell; the sweet smell of incense drew me in, his soft melodious voice that now whispered my name called me closer. Like a moth to a flame, I was oblivious to the blatant threat.

And then I could _his_ voice faintly in my ear_. I'm the world's best predator, aren't I? Everything about me invites you in—my voice, my face, even my smell. As if I need any of that!_ _As if you could outrun me. As if you could fight me off._

The familiar words startled me. I had heard them before. I twisted and turned, looking for him in the darkness. Something caught my foot, leaving me sprawling on the ground. I turned to get up and suddenly there was a large shadow hanging over me. Now the fear leaked through my system. Had they already caught up with me? I tilted my face up to look directly into the dark eyes of a russet colored wolf. Idly, I fingered the little wolf charm Jacob had given me. They had the same eyes, Jake and this wolf. The same coloring. The same lopsided grin.

The wind had picked up, and with it came Jacob's husky voice. _Another legend claims that we descended from wolves. You see the cold ones are the natural enemies of the wolf—well, not the wolf, really, but the wolves that turn into men, like our ancestors. You would call them werewolves._

I felt a chill run through my spine. I wrapped my arms securely around my shivering body and realized I was on the beach in La Push. I thought I heard voices from somewhere nearby, which didn't make any sense, because I was alone. My eyes searched the beach in each direction, scanned the trees behind me, and finally came to rest on the wide expanse of ocean. The water was dark, almost black, except for a small spot on the horizon that kept growing in size. I squinted, finally seeing the spot take form—a mass of wild blazing red hair cascaded into the waves. She smiled at me, sending another wave of chills through my body, wrapping my heart in fear. Alarm spread through me like fire. I wanted to run, but her stare held me there, immobile.

I watched as the wind whipped the orange tendrils, and without warning, the scene transformed. I was in a field, a familiar field. I'd been here before, both in reality and in dreams. A thick, overpowering scent reached me, filling my nostrils with the sweet incense, just like the smell from earlier. I turned to locate the source and saw it—the deep purple cloud that rose up from the purple flames. I heard footsteps and turned. He was there with me, whispering in my ear. _It's time, love. Remember . . . remember . . ._

His voice slowly faded, replaced by new footsteps, unrecognizable. The cloaked figures were back, stalking after me. This time my body responded. I ran. I thrashed. I cried.

My eyes jerked open. I twisted, feeling a restraint across me, prepared to fight some more. I looked down; it was only the seatbelt. Jacob was beside me, driving; Cecilia, asleep in the back. I swiped at the tears running down my cheeks.

"Bella? You okay?" Jacob asked, his tone concerned. He had reached over, laying his hot hand on my shoulder in comfort. I jerked and recoiled away. He looked worried, wounded, confused.

"The Volturi are after me again," I whispered, my voice shaking. It was a statement; I didn't have to ask. I just knew it.

Jacob's eyes darted to my face, his eyebrows furrowed, worry lines creasing his forehead. His expression reminded me of Edward; Edward was always worrying about me. Now I was the one worrying about him . . . even after death. The Volturi no longer concerned me. I didn't care if they came for me . . . let them. I wanted to die; I wanted to join my Edward. And then I crumbled. I wrapped my arms around my chest, the familiar hole aching and throbbing, forcing me to remember all the details. I let the tears fall. Jacob's words rang clearly in my ears . . . He was dead. Edward was never coming back.

I heard a muffled sob and realized it was me. The car started to slow, then pulled off on the shoulder of the road. Jake's arms enveloped me, pulling me toward him. I gave in; he was the only thing I had left. Edward wanted this; he wanted me to keep on living. He wouldn't want me to just give up and die for him . . . but could I do this? I loved Jacob, but Edward and I were soulmates. We couldn't be separated; where he went, I followed.

Jake's hands swept the sticky hair off my face. He pulled back and looked at me. "Bella, I won't let anything happen to you, understand? They'll never get to you while I'm around . . . I promise." When I didn't say anything, he cocked his head, his crooked smirk returning to his face. "Friends don't let friends get killed by bloodsuckers." He swiped at another tear on my cheek, waiting for a laugh, a smile, anything. But there was no humor in me anymore; all I felt was misery.

I buried my head in his chest, a new rush of sobs threatening to unleash. I felt like I would explode. Would it always be this hard, or would time heal my broken heart? Would Jacob heal my broken heart?

His hand continued to brush through my hair. I could feel the heat from his body radiating; it was stifling me. I pushed away.

"Jake? Where's the letter?" My voice still wavered and shook. I needed that letter. I needed to reread it over and over, to find the answer, to find what Edward wanted me to do. I had to think it through. Do I let the Volturi have their way, or spend the rest of my life with Jake, as Edward wanted? Too hard of a decision.

"What letter?" Jake asked, confused again.

"Edward's letter." I stumbled over his name. It was difficult to say his name aloud, just like it had been when he had left me before. It hurt too much.

Jacob stared at me for a long time; what felt like hours were only mere minutes. Time was distorted to me now. It dragged on relentlessly.

Then he turned away, facing the front. He rubbed his eyes. "Bella, I need to tell you something . . . But you have to promise to stay calm. You're not gonna like this. You're gonna hate me for this . . . and I deserve it, I do, but for Cee's sake, you have to remain calm. She doesn't know about all this yet."

My eyes narrowed. "What are you taking about?"

He took a deep breath. "Edward's not dead. I lied."

"What?!" I spat at him. I didn't understand. Why would he lie? Or was he lying even now?

"I didn't know what else to do. I was going to lose you . . . forever. Put yourself in my shoes; what if someone was going to take Edward away . . . would you do anything to stop that? Or would you go along with it willingly?" He looked me in the eye, his face a mixture of pain, sadness, and regret. He looked awful.

I didn't have to think about the answer. "Of course. I would do anything for him. Absolutely anything."

He gave me a weak smile, almost sheepish. An apology. "That's how I felt about you, Bells. I couldn't let him take you away from me. I couldn't let that happen . . . so I lied. I told you he was dead . . . I don't know what I was thinking. Hell, I wasn't thinking! I just knew that if I didn't try, if I didn't get a fair chance, that I would regret it for the rest of my life. I'm sorry, Bella, I really am. Will you ever forgive me?" He peeked out from under his dark lashes, still looking wounded and pathetic.

I let his words process in my head. So he had lied to me. Yeah, it irritated me, but I understood. I _would_ do the same thing for Edward without even a moment's consideration of the consequences, the people I would hurt. None of that mattered when you loved someone.

"Well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised, Jake. You always did act on impulse and stupidity." I wasn't going to dwell on it, but then something occurred to me. "Wait, what changed your mind? About me?"

He glanced back at the back seat. "I imprinted. So I guess there really was someone out there for me after all." He shrugged.

"There always was, Jake. It just wasn't me. I have my someone. Speaking of which, where is Edward? He's probably fuming right now. You're so going to be in the dog house once he hears all this."

He grimaced.

"Jake? What was that for?"

He put the car in drive and mashed the gas pedal. "I don't know." His jaw stayed clenched.

"You don't know _what_?" I asked slowly. "Was that an answer to my first question or the last?" My heart started beating in my ears. Suddenly, I felt hot, like I was sitting in an oven. His expression had told me something was wrong, and even my body knew it. It was gearing up for the inevitable fight.

"The first," he responded quietly, his hands turning white from where they gripped the steering wheel too tight. I'm sure he sensed the fight, too.

"What do you mean you_ don't know_?" I felt my fingernails digging into my palms. _What_ had he done?!

"He followed us. He came to the inn looking for you. I guess he wanted to see for himself that you chose me. I don't know what exactly he saw, but I guess he got the picture. He's gone, Bells. Alice doesn't even know where he'll go . . . but she seems to think he'll go to the Volturi like he did last time. That's why I'm racing back. I have to find him and make things right."

I could feel the anger spreading through me, seeping into my limbs, fueling me. My arms lashed out at him, and suddenly I was hitting him, scratching his face, pulling at his hair. I had no control.

"How could you do this?!" I screamed, my voice choking on the words. "He could die because of you, you selfish arrogant stubborn mongrel! I'll kill you! I swear I'll kill you if anything happens to him!"

Strong arms wrapped around my wrists, holding me still while I twisted and jerked. I leaned down to where my hands were pinned and bit the first thing I came to.

"Ouch! Are you crazy?! You just bit my hand! Get a grip, Bella!" Cecilia pulled her hand away for a second, so I took my chance. I lunged across the seat toward Jake, my fingers clawing at him again.

"How _could_ you?! I'll never forgive you, stupid animal! Stop interfering with our lives!"

I expected him to restrain me, to at least wave away my fingers so they didn't do any more damage to his face, but he didn't budge. He just sat there, taking it with an emotionless face. This angered me even more. Why wouldn't he break down already? I wanted something, anything, that would show he was sorry.

Cee's hands grabbed me again as I flung my arms at Jake the third time. This time I couldn't reach her; I was pinned. It didn't stop me from hurling out all kinds of words, though.

"What is going on with you guys?" Cee yelled out over my own hoarse screaming. "Calm down, Bella!"

I slumped back in my seat, suddenly drained of my burst of energy, the anger cooling in my veins.

"I hate you," I managed to spit out before my voice went totally hoarse. There was nothing left of me. I felt hollow.

"Bella?" Cee looked to me for an explanation, then to the dog. "Jake? What happened?"

He sighed. "I lied to Bella. She isn't happy with me right now. And I completely understand, because she's right. It is my fault; everything's my fault. And I'll never forgive myself either, if anything happens." His voice sounded like steel, cold and hard.

"Oh, you'll never forgive yourself?" I spat bitterly, my throat stinging from all the hysterics. "Well, that's just great, Jacob, just wonderful. I'm so glad that you thought this whole thing out before you _kidnapped _me and caused Edward to go get himself killed! How could you? If you really cared about me, you wouldn't do this stuff over and over and—"

He cut me off with his hand. "I know. Trust me, I _know_." I shivered as he turned fiery black eyes on me. I could see the pain in his eyes. That was a first; Jacob never felt guilty about anything. Edward on the other hand . . .

Just thinking his name brought a tear to my eye, but I wouldn't cry, not in front of them. I turned to the window, looking out past the glass to the blurred rows of trees flying by. Everything reminded me of him. I already knew what it felt like to live without him. I was positive that I couldn't do it again. It would kill me. The thought of a world without him crushed me. It made my lungs ache, but I couldn't breathe. If thinking about it hurt this much, then what would it really feel like if he wasn't alive at all? I swallowed back the threatening lump in my throat and wiped my cheeks. I had to be strong. I had to be strong, so that I could rescue him. And it had to be me; no one else would make him listen.

Minutes flew by as I recalled every moment we had ever spent together. I was preoccupying myself with the good memories to keep the bad ones away. It felt good to be able to remember without having a veil shrouding everything. All the strange dreams, all the déjà vu, all of that was just my subconscious trying to make me remember. The eclipse of my mind had ended. I was out of the darkness. Everything was lit up, no more haziness, no more confusion. It was all out in the open. I was free of the labyrinth.

"Bella? We're almost there." Jake's voice shook me out of my trance, and I finally saw the view outside the window. We were back in Forks, almost to the Cullen's turnoff.

"We're going to the Cullens'?" I felt a rush of hope that maybe, just maybe, Edward wasn't doing something rash and stupid and that instead, he was waiting on my return. But I knew it was false hope.

"Yeah, I figured you'd prefer to be with _them_ over me. Hope that's alright with you." He was hurt. I had hurt him again. And he was making me feel bad about it, even though he had just taken me against my will and simultaneously instigated my boyfriend's demise.

"Don't be like that, Jacob. Play fair for once. You can't make me feel bad after what you did. I'll forgive you; I just need some time."

He glanced at me, the pain still staring back at me. "I'm not trying to make you feel bad. Don't worry about me, Bells, I'll be fine. I am fine."

"Don't you get it, Jacob? That's the point—I _do_ worry about you . . . because I care about you. I'm sorry that everything always gets screwed up between us, but it's pretty obvious that we're meant to be friends . . . just friends. Besides, you need someone who can give you her whole heart, not just half of it. And I can't offer you that."

Jake's hand found mine, and he squeezed it, giving a half-hearted smile. "I know that now, Bells. Unfortunately, it took me awhile to realize it." He sighed as he turned off onto the Cullen's driveway and stopped. "We'll get through this. I promise I'll make this right, so we can go back to being what we were good at—friends. Nothing more."

I looked down at his hand still within mine. "Deal."

He looked back at Cecilia, her blonde head nodding along with the invisible music. He tapped her knee, and her eyes jerked open. She pulled one earphone out, and I caught the faint sound of Led Zepplin playing on her iPod.

"Yall done?" She grinned, her teeth perfectly white in the moonlight.

Jake chuckled. "Yeah, sorry about that."

She popped a piece of gum in her mouth. "It's cool. Man, I'm hungry." She looked around. "Why are we stopped?"

"Um, can I talk to you? Uh, privately?" He looked at me, and I nodded. I was pretty sure I knew what this was about.

"Sure," Cee said, making a face at me in confusion. Jake got out and reached for her hand to help her. "Wait. Out there? In the dark? A wild animal could get me."

Jake glanced at me, and we both laughed quietly. I waited patiently as he led her away from the car to talk. I wanted to give them privacy, but they were standing right in the view of my sideview mirror, and I kept inadvertently looking. I leaned back against the headrest and closed my eyes. A few minutes went by, and then the driver side door opened.

"Bella, switch seats with me. I need you to drive." Jake was holding a passed out Cee in his arms.

"Oh, okay, yeah." I ran around to his side. "So . . . how'd she take the news?" I let a small smile slip through; I couldn't help myself.

"Uh, she took it pretty well." He looked down at her. "Better than some at least."

He somehow managed to wedge both himself and Cecilia into the front seat, while I drove. The house emerged from the woods, lit up with every light on. Even before I parked, they were all appearing on the porch, Alice in the lead. She assaulted me as soon as I had the door open.

"Bella! Oh my gosh, you have _no_ idea how _much_ I've missed you!" She pulled me into a hug, then stepped back, assessing me. "You look awful, but it's okay, because I've got the perfect outfit for you. Come on, we need to get you out of those old clothes and into something. . ." She waved her hand over her nose. "Something that doesn't smell like wet dog." She shot a glance at Jacob, pulling me up the porch steps.

Esme rushed forward, grabbing her chance to welcome me back. "Are you hungry, Bella? I knew you were coming, so I went ahead and fixed a little something. I can heat it up for you, if you like?" She gave me her usual sweet smile.

"Yeah, that sounds good. Thank you, Esme."

Emmett was the next to appear in my path. "Bella," he said, holding out his arms and walking towards me. Before I realized it, he had me in a bear hug, my ribs feeling like they were going to break at any moment.

"Fragile human, here," I choked and sputtered.

He gave me a twirl, then set me down with a grin. "Sorry. Glad you're back. I've missed your antics. This lot doesn't know how to entertain." He jerked a thumb toward the others. He glanced down, noticing my newest wounds and smirked. "Looks like you've been busy. Who's the culprit?"

Alice flitted in front of Emmett, taking my arm from him. "What?! Who did this to you? Did he do this to you?" She threw her glare at Jacob, who was just coming up the steps, Cecilia still in his arms. "You see? You have her for a week and she comes back bruised and cut. Nice job."

I pulled my arm back. "Alice, it was my fault, not his."

She huffed, turning back to me. "Fine, whatever you say. I'll be right back; I think we have a first aid kit around here somewhere."

"No, it's not that bad, really! Alice!" She had already disappeared up the stairs. I turned to Emmett. "Why would she have a first aid kit anyway? You already have a doctor in the family."

He grinned. "Well, Edward bought it with you in mind awhile ago. He was going to carry it in the Volvo. I have no idea why, but he thought it might come in handy."

I made a face at him. "Your sarcasm is not welcomed."

He ruffled my hair and turned back to Jacob. "So who's the new blood? She smells pretty good."

I elbowed Emmett in the stomach and then winced with pain. I was always forgetting that they were rock solid.

Jacob glared. "'S not funny. I don't like vampire jokes."

"Um, that's Cecilia. Jake, uh, imprinted on her," I interjected before the boys could get into a fight.

Carlisle decided to join us, coming to pat me on the shoulder. "Why don't you all come into the living room? Esme's almost finished with the food. Jacob, you're welcome to let her sleep in one of the beds, while we discuss things."

I could tell he didn't want to leave her alone, so I offered to stay with her. She was already reeling from the news that Jacob was a werewolf; waking up in a strange house full of vampires definitely wouldn't help.

Alice brought me a change of clothes, but I insisted on pajamas, primarily to be comfortable. There was no way I could sleep now that I knew about Edward. I wouldn't be able to sleep, until I found him, alive and healthy.

"So he admitted to everything?"

I drew a pillow into my lap and hugged it to my chest. "Yeah. And then I tried to kill him." I laughed, remembering my attack on Jake.

"Ha! Good, he deserved it. One of these days, it will be my turn. I owe him one." She grew serious. "Bella? Are you okay? You know you can talk to me."

One minute I was laughing, and the next I was crying. Alice did her best to comfort me, and finally when I was somewhat under control, I looked at her.

"I don't know what to do. I feel like this is my fault. If I hadn't forgotten him—" I winced at how harsh it sounded—"then I never would have left with Jake, and Edward would still be here." I moaned and laid my head in her lap, curling into a ball. "It is my fault. Everything's my fault. Why am I always messing things up?"

She ran her fingers through my hair like my mother used to do. "You can't talk like that, Bella. This isn't your fault. We all had a part in this. If you want to place blame, then blame me for not stopping Edward. I was the last person to see him before he left. Or blame the dog, since he started this whole thing."

"Alice," I scolded her.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry. But if you expect me to forgive him any time soon, like in the next century, then you're mistaken."

I smiled. "Well, when you have all the time in the world. . ."

"Exactly." She grew quiet, thinking to herself for a minute. "There's just one thing I don't understand."  
"Hmm. . . "

"Well . . . before he left, he told me he had proof that you didn't love him. Jacob kept rubbing it in with all the lies, but Edward wouldn't accept it, unless he heard it from you. That's what I don't understand. If he didn't ever go to you, then why would he suddenly believe the dog's lies?"

I sat up slowly, thinking to myself. "Alice, when was it that he left?"

"I don't know the exact time. It was dark though. And it was right before Jacob came looking for him."

"No, no, no, no, no, no. No!" My heart filled with dread. I wished I was dying, anything to escape this pain.

Alice jumped up. "What's wrong?"

I settled my shocked gaze on her and took a shaky breath. "Alice, I sent him away. It _was_ me. It was _my_ fault, after all. I'm to blame," I whispered, my arms already creeping around my chest to keep the void from expanding.

"You saw him? He came to you?"

I nodded. "I had been having these . . . illusions . . . of him. It wasn't like a dream; I was awake. Like before, when he left, I would hear his voice. But it was only when I was doing something dangerous, something he wouldn't like. When you saw me jump off that cliff, that was just to hear him. It was like my mind was keeping him real to me . . . to help me cope or something."

Alice nodded her head. "He told me about that."

"It started happening again. The first day we got down there was the first time I saw him. Of course, I didn't know, I didn't understand at the time, that it was him. And then earlier tonight he just appeared out of nowhere. I had been trying to push him from my mind. I wanted to focus on Jake . . . so I told him—" The sob ripped through my body.

She put her hands on both of my shoulders. "Bella, this is important. What did you tell him?"

"I told him to go away, that I only wanted Jacob . . . How could he believe me, Alice? H-how many times have I told him how I feel? I agreed to marry him! How could he just walk away so easily? How? How—" I broke down, the sobs wreaking havoc on my body.

"We'll find him, Bella. Calm down," Alice soothed.

I jumped up. "How can you say that? You don't even know where he is!"

I ran from the room and headed downstairs, stumbling on the steps. The tears still blurred my eyes and kept streaming down. I headed for the living room.

Carlisle spotted me first, his face turning from surprise to worry. "Bella? What's the matter?" I ignored him, searching for the one I wanted.

"You! You did this!" I pointed toward Jake. He was across the room, seated beside Carlisle on the couch. He looked up, his mouth dropping when he realized that I was running towards him.

Carlisle realized what I was going to do. "Emmett, grab her! She's going for his throat." He blocked Jacob from my vision.

Emmett's arms wound around me, holding me motionless. I kicked my legs, but it did nothing. He was like a brick wall.

I heard him chuckle behind me. "Seems like Bella was born to be a vampire."

Esme glided into the room, Rosalie right behind her. "What happened?"

"Bella just tried to choke Jacob to death," Emmett filled them in. "I never had a doubt about you, Bells. I always knew you'd be a good vampire. Going for the throat," he muttered to himself, laughing.

"You mean, we were this close—" Rosalie pinched her finger and thumb together—"to having one less werewolf around here, and you stopped her? Perfect, Emmett." Jake glared at her.

"That's enough, you two. There's no killing in my house. Not on my hardwood floors," Esme said, breaking the tension.

"Let me go. I wasn't going to kill him," I mumbled. "Maybe just cut off his air supply for awhile."

"Bella, do you think you can control yourself?" Carlisle asked, his face trying to hide his amusement.

I nodded slowly, unsure if I was capable of even breathing. Everything seemed too difficult at a time like this. "For right now. But I'm not making any promises."

Emmett suppressed a chuckle.

Rosalie spoke up cheerfully, "Go ahead, Bella, no one will miss him." Jake growled at her in irritation.

All of a sudden I felt tired. The anger that had fueled me a moment ago had left my body, and all I felt was fatigue. "I need to be alone. Is it okay if I just go sit outside on the porch?" I hated asking permission to do what I wanted, but it was necessary, I knew, because of the Volturi lurking somewhere out there.

Everyone exchanged glances. Finally, Carlisle spoke up. "It's alright, but stay close, Bella. We don't need any more trouble on our hands."

I wanted to run to the door, but my sluggish feet balked at that idea. I closed the door behind me and plopped down on the top step, looking out into the dark trees that greeted me with an eerie silence. The cool air brushed across my face and seemed to bring me back to reality. The reality was that Edward was gone. And I felt like my life was crumbling all around me. Soon I would be clinging onto a thin thread and then what?

"You can't leave me like this, Edward. Please, just please, come back to me," I breathed the words into the wind as it whipped my hair around. For the first time I actually wanted him to be able to get inside my mind, to hear my pitiful pleas. But I knew it was useless.

The door opened behind me and whoever it was hesitated before slowly joining me on the step. It was too dark to see faces, but when the warm arm encircled my shoulders, I knew it was Jake. He heaved a sigh, and we sat there in silence for an indefinite amount of time.

I gazed up at the stars. Jake followed my eyes. "You know how they say it's written in the stars? Do you believe that, or is life what you make it?" His voice was husky with emotion.

I didn't answer him as I contemplated that question. "I don't know anymore, Jake. But it seems to me that everything is preordained. I used to think that Edward and I were destined to be together . . . but now I think we're destined to never be together. We are the true models of star-crossed lovers."

"You don't necessarily know that, Bells. If I hadn't pulled that stunt, you and Edward would have been married a week ago."

I looked in his direction, trying to decipher his face in the darkness. "We _could_ have been married, but something else would have stopped us. It's like fate is against us, always waiting in the background, ready to throw another obstacle in our path."

He laced his fingers through mine. "Bella, everything happens for a reason. I'm a firm believer of that. And even though sometimes life sucks, you just have to trust fate."

"Do you hear yourself? This is not you, Jacob Black. Where is this coming from?"

He squeezed my hand. "It's taken me a long time to be able to admit all that, but I do believe in what I said . . . If I hadn't done what I've done, then I never would have imprinted. If you had never moved to Forks, then the pack would have never given the Cullens the benefit of doubt, and we'd still be mortal enemies. But somehow you brought us together. Don't you see? That was fate working her magic." He nudged my shoulder softly.

"If I hadn't moved to Forks, a lot of people would have been saved, the Cullens wouldn't be in so much danger, and neither would the pack."

"That's not true. You have no control over what other people decide to do. And you have to start putting yourself before others, Bells. Think about this—if you hadn't come here, both you and Edward would have led miserable lives."

I frowned at him. "Jake, we're both miserable as it is. He thinks I betrayed him and love you and is trying to end his life, and I'm dying on the inside because there is _nothing_ I can do to save him. To make things worse, it's my fault he's doing this because I told him I loved you." My heart convulsed as I said that last line, and I struggled to keep my emotions together.

"Bella, I'll find him. Promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep. . ." I mumbled.

We both turned at the sound of a muffled cry coming from the living room. I jumped to my feet, lurching sideways, and Jacob had to throw an arm around my waist to steady me. I led the way inside, rushing to the group that was huddled around Alice on the couch.

"What happened? What'd she see?" I frantically asked Esme. Terror clawed at my insides; I was sure something bad had happened to Edward.

"The Volturi have him," she whispered back, her caramel eyes turning into fiery orbs.

Alice's hazy stare refocused on the concerned faces surrounding her. She bounced to her feet. "I'm not sure what their motives are and why they aren't just killing him right away. Something just doesn't feel right. They don't have anything to charge him with, but yet they won't release him." She was half rambling, half informing. Either way, I was confused. "He's locked in some dungeon, it looks like. I don't recognize his surroundings, but it has to be Volterra. Where else would they have taken him?"

Carlisle was in deep thought. "I've known them for centuries. They wouldn't have taken him anywhere else. Volterra is their safe zone. They feel most protected there."

"So what's the plan?" Emmett asked, eager for an answer that involved a fight.

Carlisle glanced at the gold watch on his wrist. "I think the best thing to do is confront them. Edward hasn't been there that long with them, so it's best we leave now. Emmett, I assume you want to be included in this trip?"

His face looked shocked. "Of course! They need a good ass-kicking. It's been a century too long."

"Alright. Emmett, Alice, and I will go to Volterra tonight. I am hoping that my presence will rectify this terrible situation. They've never had a problem with us before, so hopefully I can work this out. But Emmett, do not make a move until I say. I would like to go about this without killing everyone in sight. We don't need to provoke them."

"Whatever you say, boss," Emmett grumbled.

"Everyone else needs to stay here and watch over Bella and Cecilia. If my conjecture is right, Victoria and Felix will bring their new army against us soon, quite possibly while we're gone. Jacob, can you obtain the help of the pack?"

Jake nodded. "Yeah, they'll probably be more than glad to kill some leeches. I'll call Sam." He headed into the kitchen to make the call.

"Good. Remember how it was last time? They're cunning. You must have your eyes open at all times. You'll have to split into small groups to feed and stay around the house. If Alice has a vision, I'll call one of you immediately."

Esme reappeared in the doorway. "I've made flight arrangements for three. There's enough time for the three of you to hunt before you leave."

Carlisle motioned to Emmett. "Take Alice and head north. I'll join you in a moment. If you'll excuse me, I have to take care of something in my study."

I watched the others spread apart, Emmett playfully suggesting a race with Alice, while Carlisle gracefully darted up the stairs. I crumbled into the soft couch, burying my face in my trembling hands. The knowledge that there was nothing I could possibly do to help and the nagging fact that I was the cause of this terrible situation made me sick to my stomach.

"Are you two ready to eat?" Esme asked quietly, interrupting my thoughts.

Jake jumped to his feet. "Oh, yeah."

"Thanks, Esme, but I'm really not that hungry."

She nodded and led Jake toward the kitchen.

I waited until they had disappeared and I was alone, and then headed toward the stairs. Carlisle's study door was cracked. I tapped lightly as I stepped inside.

"Oh, Bella, I thought you were downstairs." He quickly shoved something into a bottom drawer.

I hesitated. "I just . . . wanted to talk."

"Yes?" He came towards me and led me to a seat in front of the fireplace. He sat down in the other chair.

"Carlisle, I can't stay here. I can't just do nothing. I need to go with you. I need to help."

"I know you want to help, but you need to stay here. Think about what it would do to him if anything happened to you. The others will keep you safe here."

I felt defeated. "But—"

"Bella, trust me. You need to be here."

I stood up slowly. "When will you leave?"

"Two hours. I have to go meet Emmett and Alice now. Bella, do me a favor and get some rest."

"Sure," I mumbled, still mad and frustrated that I had to stay here. Sleeping would accomplish nothing. Not at a time like this.

I followed Carlisle out into the hall, watched him descend the stairs, and lingered in the hallway. I knew where I wanted to be. I made my way down the hall towards the familiar room. Edward's room. As soon as I stepped inside, his smell assaulted me, and with it came the sharp pain in the hollow part of my chest. It hurt so badly. I collapsed onto the floor, drawing my knees close, and focused on just breathing. When the aching in my heart had died down enough to move, I pulled myself up. His room was exactly as I remembered it. It hardly ever changed, except for the addition of new journals and music.

I traced my fingers over the spines of several unfamiliar journals on his shelf, my finger stopping abruptly on one. _To My Love,_ it read. I picked it up, debating on sneaking a peek. In the end, my curiosity won over. I flipped open the supple leather cover to the middle of the book and my breath caught in my throat. I flipped page after page, and it was all the same . . . love letters. One for every day, or rather night . . . Each one had been written long after my bedtime, according to the time written in his elegant script beside the date. All the times I had doubted his love and affection for me were erased from my memory. As I read his carefully composed words, I realized what I should have known all along . . . that Edward Cullen really, truly, deeply loved me.

I closed the book, carrying it with me to his leather couch, and curled up on it. Suddenly, I was weary. Both physically and emotionally. I clutched the book, reading each letter devoted to me, while my eyelids grew heavier and heavier. And in my dreams, once again we were together. And nothing could tear us apart.

*****

Jake:

"Ugh, that smell is all over me. Seriously, I could scrub for a year and I'd still reek of _dog._" Rosalie glowered at me from across the room. I was enjoying it too much, the fact that she couldn't feel comfortable in her own house.

I chuckled from my seat on the couch and patted the area next to me. "Why don't you come join me?" I asked, sarcasm dripping from my every word.

She snorted, rolling her eyes. "Shouldn't you be out there, trying to undo the mess you created, you little monster?"

I held up a hand. "Hey now, watch who you sling the word _monster_ at, miss priss."

The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs grabbed our attention.

"Great. Here comes the mutt lover," she muttered.

Cecilia appeared in the living room, slightly scared and slightly apprehensive. She glanced nervously at me, then at Barbie. I stood up slowly.

"How ya feeling?"

"I'm not sure." She hesitated, peering at me with a strange look. "Either I just had the weirdest dream . . . nightmare . . . or you just told me you were a . . . a werewolf, and you meant it."

I sighed. "No dream. It's all real. Everything." When she took a step backwards, I rushed on. "But nobody's going to hurt you. We're trying to keep you safe. Promise."

She came towards me, stopping a foot away, and glanced back at Rosalie. "Then why is she looking at me like she wants to rip my head off?" she whispered.

"I can hear you. Didn't wolf-boy explain how this all works?" Rosalie huffed, crossing her arms.

"Don't worry about her. Her face is always like that. It's called ugly."

She snorted again. "Then you would be very familiar with that, wouldn't you, Jacob Black?" she retorted.

I turned Cee around. "Actually, just don't even acknowledge her at all. She's the resident bitch around here. I never understood why they keep her around. She must be good at something, but I just haven't quite figured it out."

"Ha ha ha. Very funny." Rosalie sat down across from us. "So, _Cecilia,_ tell me about yourself."

"Um, there's really not much to say," Cee mumbled.

"Oh, I disagree. You're in love with a wolf; there's always a story behind that."

She shrugged her shoulders beside me.

"Fine. No chit chat. So is that hair of yours real?"

Cee combed her fingers through her hair anxiously. "Of course it is."

"Really. Hmm." Rose sat back, examining her quietly.

"You don't like me," Cecilia guessed.

"Good observation."

"You don't know me."

"And I don't want to. No offense, but we don't exactly hang with the same crowd." She pointed at me and waved her hand in front of her nose.

"I don't think that's the reason. I think you're jealous."

My eyes darted over to Cecilia's. The glint was back in her eyes, and she was smirking. Apparently, she wasn't afraid of Bipolar Barbie over here.

"_Excuse me?_ Jealous? Me? Of _what?_"

"You're jealous that I'm better looking."

I laughed. "I have to agree on that one."

Rosalie jumped up, her breathing becoming erratic. "I am _not_ jealous of you! Do you have a death wish, _human?_"

"Alright then. Think what you want. Jake, come for a walk with me?" She stood up and pulled me along, heading towards the backyard. I threw a backward glance at Rosalie, who was still fuming, and chuckled to myself. This was going to be entertaining, to say the least.

Cee was quiet for awhile. She stared off into the trees, into the darkness, seeing nothing. I listened for any sounds that weren't supposed to be there. With Carlisle, Alice, and Emmett gone, I was going to have to be on my toes.

"I'm sorry that I freaked out on you, Jacob." Her voice was quiet, almost inaudible. "This just wasn't supposed to happen like this. I didn't expect it."

"No one ever does." My voice was equally as quiet. "Imagine if you were the one whose body decided one day to transform into a werewolf. Pretty disturbing."

"Yeah, I know all too well what you mean." She trailed off and started walking into the trees.

I whirled around. "Wait, what? Cee? Where are you going? It's not safe." I jogged after her.

"Come with me. I need to show you something."

I wanted to object, to force her to stay around the house, but in the end I felt compelled to do what she asked. Imprinting could be annoying like that. "What do you have to show me? Why couldn't you show me up there? I really don't think this is a good idea."

"I couldn't do it up there; they would hear me, right?"

"Well, yeah, they do have ridiculous ears, but what—"

"Exactly." She'd led me pretty far out; the woods were dense around us. She stopped suddenly and whirled around to face me. Her expression was unreadable.

"So?" I asked, growing more and more confused by the minute.

She took a step closer, her face closing the short distance between us, her lips meeting mine gently. Everything felt right. She finally pulled back, tears in her eyes, her mouth trembling.

"Cecilia, what's the matter?" I couldn't tell if she was happy-crying or sad-crying. You just never knew with women.

"I'm so sorry, Jacob. Please forgive me," she whispered, her voice breaking on my name.

I saw the glint of metal slice through the air, but my head was too muddled to understand and grasp what was happening. The pain radiated through my body, piercing every inch of me, cutting off all thoughts, except one . . . Why?

I sucked in air, feeling the jagged edge of the dagger as she yanked it back out. My chest was on fire; my heart beating rapidly, too rapidly, as it tried to compensate. So this was it . . . Death.

And just like that, she was gone. Vanished into the night.

*****

A/N: Alright, review time! Let me know your thoughts;)


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Damned and Doomed

Bella:

"Bella?" I heard the voice close to me, but sleep wouldn't release me. I fought against the fogginess to decipher the voice. "Bella? Wake up."

My eyelids fluttered open, only to find a thick impenetrable darkness surrounding me. Was I still asleep? I sat up, bumping into something soft and fleshy.

"Jacob?" I asked, extending my hands to search for the person I'd accidentally hit.

"No, it's Cecilia."

"Oh," I mumbled, urging for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. "I thought you were asleep. Do you need something?"

"Yes. I need you to come with me. It's important." Her voice sounded funny. It was slightly different, but I couldn't place it.

I followed her voice with my eyes. I could barely make out the faintest outline of a slender body with long flowing hair. "Huh? I don't understand. Where are we going?"

She suddenly grabbed my hand in hers and tugged me up onto my feet. It wasn't rough, but still something felt odd about her behavior. "Just trust me. I can't tell you here. There are ears everywhere. But we have to hurry."

"Why can't you tell me? If the others hear, it's fine; they're family." I struggled to make sense of her words.

"Bella," she said, her voice with an edge now, "This doesn't concern them. Just come outside with me and hear me out. Please." I hesitated, and she continued on. "Trust me."

It hit me suddenly that this could have something to do with the pack. And obviously the pack's business was _not_ the Cullens' business. "Okay," I whispered back, grabbing my discarded jacket and letting her pull me out into the dim hallway and down the stairs. I wondered how she would get past the vampires who would surely be in the living room monitoring the door, but as we walked past it, I noticed the room was empty. Strange.

"Where are the others?"

She glanced back at me nonchalantly. "They thought they heard something outside; they're out walking the perimeter." She shrugged.

We were on the porch now, but she was still walking. "It's freezing. I'm going to sit in the car."

"Do you have the keys? I think Jacob has them on him." I'd sworn I'd seen him put them in his pocket.

She produced the key ring from her own pocket and dangled them in front of me, a devilish grin on her face. "Want to go for a spin? Jake said it was okay, that he would keep an ear out for any approaching monsters."

I looked over my shoulder at the house. They were all outside, surveying the land surrounding the Cullen house. They would already be aware of any impending danger. It couldn't hurt to spend some time getting to know Cee if she was supposed to be one of the family.

"Sure, but if we get into trouble, you're taking the blame." I smiled.

Her gaze lingered on me for a second. "It's only fair."

She hopped in the driver's side, while I buckled up beside her, biting my lip as she revved the engine and pressed the pedal to the floor. We took off in a flurry of gravel and dust, her grin spreading contagiously to me. A day ago, I would've been the one in the driver's seat, getting an adrenaline rush just to see Edward. At the thought of his name, my smile vanished.

"Hey, what did you want to tell me?" I suddenly remembered the reason we were out doing this.

She looked at me out of the corner of her eye and chuckled, low and deep in her throat. "You know, they warn you all throughout life, "things are never what they seem," but nobody ever listens. Not you, not Jake . . . hell, not even me."

I stared at her profile, confused. "What?"

"Did you know what you were getting into when you first saw the Cullen boy?"

"I . . . I thought he seemed different from the rest, but no, I didn't know what he was . . . Is this about Jacob being a werewolf? Because yeah, it's kind of weird at first, but you get used to it. He's not the dangerous type; he won't hurt you."

She chuckled again, more sinister this time. "No, Bella, this isn't about Jacob." She was quiet for awhile, her thoughts lost somewhere outside the speeding car. "Like I was saying . . . we all want to see things exactly like they appear, right? You saw a handsome boy, maybe more handsome than everyone else; one who was quiet, sensitive, and completely harmless . . . but what you didn't see was the bloodlust in his eyes, the way he deceived everyone to keep his secret disclosed . . ."

"I'm not following you. Where is this conversation going?"

Her laughter filled the car. "This has been fun, really, it has. This little game of mine has lasted longer than I expected."

"Excuse me?" I was scared now. My hand gripped the seat; my heart beat frantically. This wasn't the Cecilia I knew.

"Haven't you figured it out yet, Bella? _Things are never what they seem?_ Look at me. See the truth." Her voice was low, frightening.

I peeled my gaze away from the trees that rushed by too swiftly behind my window to look at her and recoiled. I felt my body go numb, the blood draining from my limbs out of shock. How had I never seen this?

Her once bronze colored skin was ghostly white. Her pale blue eyes had been replaced by piercing red orbs that glowed in the inky darkness. That impossibly sweet smell, the scent of my Edward, wafted off of her marble skin. And there was a palpable coolness in the air of the car that hadn't been there moments before. She had been beautiful ever since I'd met her, but now her attractiveness surpassed even that of Rosalie. She was a stunning vampire, one of the loveliest of the damned and the doomed. And she was deadly.

"How did you do that?! How did you conceal yourself from us like that?" My mind tried to grasp the information she had just revealed to me, but none of it made sense. If she was a vampire, Jake would've known; he would've smelled her. And the Cullens would have realized in a second. Alice would have at least seen her coming. _Unless_ . . . unless she was intermingled with Jacob's fate . . . but how? Jake couldn't imprint on a vampire. "None of this makes sense," I mumbled, dumbfounded.

She laughed. She was enjoying herself. "Things are never what they seem. You see, I'm what the Volturi calls the manipulator. I have the greatest power of any vampire walking the earth. Just think about what the word manipulator implies. You should be able to figure out what exactly I'm capable of quite easily." She snickered silently.

Manipulator. Someone who controls, influences, or tampers with things for personal gain.

I couldn't find any air to speak. I just stared at her in shock.

"I know, I know . . . you're surprised, outraged, confused . . . Okay, here's how it works. See, I'm able to manipulate others' minds with my mind. Very cool, if you think about it, but yes, mean and very cruel." Chuckle. "I've always had this gift. Ever since I was human, I could somehow persuade people to do whatever I wanted. When I was a child, my parents just thought I was spoiled. But whichever you want to call it, it was manipulating people."

"H-how long have you been a vampire?" I stuttered.

"A year. I should be eighteen by now, but I have the Volturi to thank for my being dead. Such great guys they are," she muttered bitterly.

"What happened to you? What did they do to you?"

She hissed. "Same thing they do to everyone else. Give two unconditional choices, neither of which you want. A painful death or everlasting life. They just don't elaborate on the fact that you'll hate being one of the undead for all eternity. They don't tell you that life as you know it will never be the same. That you'll be forced to hide from everyone you most loved. They just give you those two inescapable choices and wait for your decision. Either way, they'll be happy and satisfied."

I shuddered, seeing a different point of view that I'd never given thought to. "I'm sorry for your loss. I really am."

Her head twisted my way so fast that I got dizzy. "Why would you say that?!" she spat out.

"Because I mean it. I know how you feel . . . torn between two decisions, and then forced to live with the one you think, hope, is right." My voice had grown very quiet.

She glared at me. "You could _never_ know how I feel, Bella Swan." The way she said my name sent shivers down my spine. "Because of you and your vampire lover, I was forced into this hell of a life. If you had never been born, I would be a normal teenager living out my normal life right now. But I'm not . . . because of _you._"

I struggled to think of words to say. "I don't understand," was all I managed to come up with.

Her laugh was like acid. "Of course you don't. But I'll enlighten you. You deserve to know why before you meet your death." I gulped, my head spinning. "Senior year . . . my graduation gift was a backpacking trip to Italy with two close friends. It was going to be great; we had just graduated, me a year ahead, and we were celebrating. A whole summer of freedom . . . away from the parents. Only two weeks into it, we traveled to a little place called Volterra. It was such a beautiful place. Little did we know what really went on in that town. But I soon found out. I got separated from my friends, wandered around a bit, until this handsome Italian boy started talking to me. Of course, I was infatuated; he was Italian, after all. So we spent the day together. He showed me around, we ate delizioso food, and then he took me back to his wonderful friends, the Volturi, to show them my talent of manipulating people. They thought my gift was too good to squander, so they fed me lies about how wonderful life as a vampire was, and being young and naïve, I believed them. So here I am . . . doing their dirty work."

"But how am I involved?"

"Because they wanted someone who could infiltrate the Cullen clan, someone who could befriend and fool all of you . . . and then take you down, one by one. You see, the Volturi view you, the Cullens, and that stinky wolf pack as their biggest threat. You all grow in size so rapidly that it scares them. With their biggest enemy out of the way, they can rule without interference . . . or worry."

"And why do you hate me so much?" I had to ask; the question was gnawing at me.

"They changed me so that they could have you killed. And I was the only one who could deceive everyone to get to you. If they didn't want to take down you and dear old Eddy so badly, then I'd still be alive. So thank you, _Bella," _she sneered.

"But don't you see? You shouldn't be angry with me or Edward. You should be mad with the Volturi! They're the ones who did this against your will! We're not the enemy; they are!"

"Oh, no . . . that ain't gonna work, missy. I want revenge, and I'll get it. You should be thankful that I let you live this long. You have no idea how hard it was to be nice to you all this time. Ugh, it was killing me!"

"Well, what about Jacob?"

She stiffened ever so slightly. "What about him? He's dead."

"What?! I don't believe you! Where is he?" My voice trembled and shook; the tears were already rolling down my cheeks.

"He took a dagger to the heart, sweetie; he's gone."

I shook my head furiously. "No. No, he's not. He's a werewolf. They're pretty much invincible. He'll heal, and then he'll come after you!"

She was quiet. "You know, that's one thing I didn't understand, the imprinting deal. I persuaded him to think he had imprinted on me, which he did, but I wasn't supposed to feel anything back."

I looked at her. "What do you mean?" I could've sworn that there were tears in her eyes.

"Nothing. Just shut up. I'm tired of hearing you talk," she snapped brusquely.

"No, I want to know what you felt."

"Bella, you want to be quiet now, don't you?"

"Yes, I do," I heard myself saying, but I hadn't formed those words of my own accord.

I felt myself relaxing, sitting back in the seat, and staring straight ahead as the road flew past.

*****

Edward

"You cannot outsmart me, you do realize. If you've had a memory lapse, then please, let me oblige you—I can foresee every movement, every thought, you're about to make." I smiled as Aro's mind drifted to an additional punishment. "Now, did you really think that would escape me, Aro?" I tapped my head. "I don't miss much."

His face contorted into fury and irritation. "You're not helping your case, Edward." He turned and motioned to Jane, whose smile spread across her little face. "I think it's time for a little humbling; you have such arrogant ways now. How did Carlisle ever let this happen. Tsk, tsk. And to think, I was praising you the last time we met." He nodded to Jane. She came forward slowly, as if to amplify the trepidation that I must be having. But they didn't understand that there wasn't one thing they could do to me that would be worse than living without Bella. I would welcome this torture, rather than live alone.

"I thought you were more intelligent than this, Aro. You're only giving me what I want most." I nodded at Jane less than three feet away. She already had her hand stretched out, prolonging the anticipation to cause me pain.

Aro gave a deep, throaty laugh. "True. And while I do not take pleasure in granting your request, in giving you what you most desire, I do, however, love seeing you writhe in pain. It's most enjoyable."

"Too bad. You won't be getting much enjoyment out of watching me _writhe_, since I take pain with a stoic face."

With a flick of his wrist, he had signaled Jane. Her fingertips pressed against my skin, and with it came the horrendous pain. Pain that I hadn't imagined could hurt to this degree. It threatened to block out any thoughts, but I managed to concentrate on one thing—Bella. I saw her face in my mind; she was smiling, the look of joy written all over her beautiful features. With the ease of someone who had a century full of idle nights, I created an escape for myself, a diversion from the piercing, absorbing pain. I was no longer in Volterra, being tormented by a ruthless monster. No, I was back in our meadow, lying on the cool grass with Bella in my arms. Her heartbeat was a soft pulse in my ears, and I concentrated on that sound. It was keeping time for me, holding me in this alternate universe. I kissed her hair and pulled her tighter, feeling her warmth seep into my cold hard skin. _Do you love me?_ I'd whisper in her ear. She'd laugh sarcastically as if that was the most absurd question for me to ask and gaze into my eyes. Her own eyes would hold all the truth I needed, but I still wanted to hear it from her lips. _Of course. Who else would there be for me? You're my other half, my soul mate. You're the _only _one._ And then she'd kiss me, making _me_ feel vulnerable and weak. But this time, I wouldn't hold back.

Suddenly, my mind was clear. The part that I had been pushing far into the depths of my mind was gone, taking the pain with it. I opened my eyes to see Jane stalking away. I looked to Aro. He was far from happy. He stood up and went to one of his hulking guards, whispering a few short words to him. Then he glared at me.

"Since you're stubborn and arrogant and refuse to give in to my little game, Edward, you'll just have to suffer through something much, much worse. How do you feel about me conducting a game of survival with the object of your affection? Do you think you're up for it, Edward? Because whether or not you are, _she_ will be. You know as well as I do, Edward, that poor delicate Bella will gladly sacrifice herself to free you." He opened the thick stone door at the end of the room and started walking down the long hallway, his rumbling laughter echoing off the walls.

"No! Not Bella! Don't touch her, Aro!" I heard myself yell out before I could even control my rage.

He turned slowly. "Ah, so you do still feel fondly for her? Perfect. You just gave me exactly what I needed. Well done, Edward. So much for the stoicism."

The door slammed shut, cutting off his wicked laughter.

*****

Jacob:

I felt their icy hands on my skin before I even knew what was happening. My brain told me to wake up, to fight them all off, but my body refused. Maybe it was better this way. Let death come. There was nothing I could do to stop it. But then Bella's image flashed before my eyes. I still loved her; she was my closest friend. I couldn't leave her all alone to fend for herself against these bloodsuckers.

I fought against the darkness that pinned me down into unconsciousness. I struggled to open my eyes, catching a glimpse of bright light, and then a hazy face.

"He's coming to," a muffled voice above me said. "Jacob, can you hear me?"

I blinked and tried to sit up. The pain kept me flat. I moaned.

"Jacob, it's Esme. You've been hurt. You need to rest." Her voice was comforting, but then I became aware of a second presence, and it sent chills through me. Rosalie was standing a few feet away, a scowl on her face.

I shot up, despite the resistance in my chest. Fire was spreading through my limbs. My hand darted to the spot where it pulsed from. The wound was still fresh. The smell of new blood reached me.

"Stay away from me," I warned bitterly. There was only one of me. . . and I was weak.

Esme laid a hand on my shoulder. "No one's going to harm you, Jacob. Now please, lie back. You need time to heal."

"I don't think so." I kept an eye on Rosalie. I wasn't worried so much about Esme; it was Rosalie I didn't trust. She must've read my mind though.

"Oh, please," she sneered. "Like I'd want _your_ blood! That'd be like eating garbage. That stench of yours rivals the worst of all smells."

"The worst being _you,_" I retaliated.

"Okay, you two," Esme cut in, "Rosalie, you can join the others outside." We watched her leave angrily and then Esme sighed. She picked up a damp washcloth and dabbed softly at the fresh blood on my chest. I winced. "Jacob, who did this to you? Did you see?"

I thought back to what had happened. The pain seemed to blur my memory, but I remembered being led away from the house. Far away. Cecilia had been there. No, she had led me away. Why? I racked my brain for answers. She had wanted to talk about something. Show me something. But what?

The pulse behind my eyes grew stronger; the pain in my chest throbbed along with it. I squeezed my eyes shut. _I'm so sorry, Jacob. Please forgive me. _Cecilia's voice rang loud in my ears. And then came the burning sensation deep beneath the knife wound. I lurched, my hand flying to the jagged slash.

"She did it," I stuttered. "_Cecilia_ did it." It was half question, half statement. I remembered the look in her eyes as she attempted to kill me. There shouldn't have been any question about it. I had seen her. But it didn't make any sense. Why would she try to kill me? "Where is she?" My throat felt raw.

Esme was silent. "Cecilia? Jacob, are you positive?"

I nodded, seeing her hand stab through my heart again and again as if on replay. "Absolutely."

"But the imprinting?"

I shrugged. There was no explanation. Not unless I could talk to her. "Where is she?" I repeated, my voice growing more anxious.

Esme jumped to her feet. "I thought she was upstairs with Bella. Let me check."

I felt a rush of cool air and I was alone. I sat like that for only a couple seconds and then she was back.

"I've checked the entire house. She's not here. Neither is Bella." Her eyes were already filled with tears.

I leaped up unsteadily, doubling over from the pain. "Agh," I mumbled, regaining my posture as she fixed me with a worried look. "I'll be fine. I'll be healed in no time." I worked hard to steady my ragged breathing. "We have to do something. Bella's with her . . . whoever she is. If she tried to put a knife through my heart, then there's no telling what she's got planned for Bells." The realization made me reel. "We have to find her!"

Esme was suddenly on the phone, dialing so fast I couldn't catch the numbers. I heard the voice pick up. Alice. "Something's happened. Cecilia isn't who we thought she was. She just stabbed Jacob, almost killed him, and now she's disappeared with Bella. Alice, was there a vision? Anything?" Esme was frantic.

"What?!" Alice screeched into the phone. "This can't be happening. This _can't_ be happening. How did I miss something?" She went silent. "There was . . . _nothing._ Not a glimpse. It's him; it's his involvement. I can't see past Jacob." If she yelled any louder, I was sure to go deaf.

"I don't know what to do," Esme mumbled into the phone.

Another voice came on the phone. "Esme, there's nothing you can do. This wasn't your fault. She had all of us fooled," Carlisle said. "I think the best thing is to stay close to the house in case Bella should return."

I snorted. "She isn't gonna come back . . . not when she's been kidnapped by some crazy chick who just tried to kill me! Are you people crazy too?! We have to go after them!"

Esme frowned. "I think Jacob may be right. We don't know who this girl is or what her motives are for doing this, but we have to try to find Bella before something worse happens."

Carlisle sighed. "I think it's pretty obvious that she's involved with the Volturri. This couldn't be a coincidence. They're trying to come at us from every angle. The more confused they can make us, the better. And right now we're split apart; that's just what they wanted. I should have foreseen this. Alice should have. Which leads us back to the question of how Jacob's involved. If he imprinted on Cecilia, then why is she doing this? Nothing makes sense."

I turned away, fed up with just standing around. "While you all just sit around and theorize amongst yourselves, I'm gonna go find Bella." I started for the door but stopped suddenly. Light was already streaming in through the windows. I hadn't noticed it before. I whirled.

"How long was I out?!"

"Awhile," Rosalie answered, just entering through the kitchen. "But not long enough, if you ask me. The best peaceful hours of my life," she snickered.

I glared at her, picturing my hands around her pretty little neck, a nice accessory along with her diamond necklace. "Well, I didn't ask _you._"

Esme stepped toward me, snapping her cell phone shut. "Jacob, you need rest. Even if you go after them, they're already _miles_ away. We found you many hours ago. It's already noon," she said softly, painfully.

I raked my shaking hands through my hair, trying to control the urge to change. "Dammit."

*****

Edward:

The sound of footsteps on cold, hard stone reached my ears. I lifted my head warily and watched the massive door swing open.

"Are you _still_ alive, Edward? My, my . . . you _are_ stubborn."

I watched Aro with suspicious eyes. After hours of torture, I wondered what he would have awaiting me next.

"Hmm, not in the mood for chit-chat? Alright then. Suit yourself. But I had a little gift for you. Someone that might make you a little more . . . verbal." He laughed and with a wave of his white hand said, "Bring the guest in, please."

I looked away, not giving him the pleasure of having my attention. I heard more footsteps, one set louder than the other. A man and a woman. What did Aro have planned?

I could feel him waiting on me to give them my interest, but I didn't budge. I kept my eyes closed and Bella's image plastered before me. That was one thing that no one could take away from me.

"Edward, are you really going to be this impolite to your guest? Ignoring someone is not becoming. How did you ever woo Bella in the first place?"

I smiled to myself, in spite of the situation I was in. He had no idea just how accurate he was. I _had_ ignored Bella, but it had had the opposite effect on her.

Aro sighed. "How infinitely stupid you are, boy. Here I am, doing something that I _really_ did not have to do, being so incredibly charitable, and how am I repaid? By your insolence." He paused. "Fine. Fine! Take her away! I'm so sorry, my dear Bella, that this has to be our last meeting. Do forgive me," he snickered.

I jerked my head up, but all I could see was the retreating back of one of Aro's guards, and in his arms he cradled the limp body of a girl . . . one with ivory skin and long, flowing dark hair. It couldn't be _her._ How would they have gotten hold of her? With Jacob as protection? Never. I didn't believe this scheme one bit.

"Wonderful, my dear girl! You are stupendous!" Aro said, stepping towards the blonde who stood only a few feet from the door. She must have been the other footsteps I had heard. Her eyes flickered to me. Aro turned. "Oh, yes, I forgot. Cee, darling, this is Edward. Edward, meet my newest ingénue, Cecilia. She has the most extraordinary talent I have ever come across."

I heard a grunt from across the room. Jane had her arms crossed in a defiant posture, her usually angelic face replaced with a fierce frown.

"Besides Jane, of course," Aro added ruefully. "Yes, these are my two best girls."

"Aro," Cecilia snapped impatiently, "I did as you asked; I brought you the girl. Now where is my compensation?" She tapped her heel in annoyance.

Aro looked baffled. "I have no idea what you are referring to, child."

Her perfectly composed expression melted to one of fury. "_Yes_ you do. Where are they, Aro? You promised me! They're all I've got."

He folded his arms, looking slightly amused with himself. "Anyone here can tell you my promises are not always sincere. Here's the problem with that little plan . . . Your parents will undeniably know that something is changed with their daughter and, consequently, they will seek the truth, which will ultimately end with their knowledge of _us._ And that leaves me two options."

"I know what your options are," she spat bitterly. "But they're different. They wouldn't tell anyone, I promise. You could spare them, and they would be so grateful. No one would have to know. _Please._" I could see the pleading look in her eye. From the corner, Jane huffed spitefully.

Aro chuckled and turned to me. "Edward, would you mind explaining our ways to the young and naïve Cecilia?"

"Why don't you do the honors, Aro? You seem to know so much about taking innocent lives," I retorted.

He smiled. "Well, Cecilia, as Edward well knows, if a human discovers what we are, it is the law that you must either convert him or invite him for dinner. But not in the literal sense," he added, amused, with a flick of his ghostly finger. "And so, no matter how trustworthy I'm sure your darling parents are, they only have two options. And I'm afraid, I've already made up my mind which one they'll receive." He glanced over at Caius and Marcus eagerly, rubbing his hands together. "I'm quite famished suddenly."

The girl took a step forward, her mouth a thin straight line of angst and rage. "I wouldn't make my decision so hastily, Aro, if I were you."

For a moment he looked troubled, but the look was replaced by unabashed arrogance. He was choosing not to fear her and whatever astonishing power she had. But I could see through him, into his mind; his overconfidence was all a façade. He was worried that she might try to dethrone him. He would have to waste her talent after all; it was too much of a risk to have her. She would eternally pose a threat to his hierarchy.

"Oh, I have given it considerable thought. I was just discussing it with Carlisle, in fact." He threw a sidelong glance at me. He was trying to rile me up. "He agreed with me; for the safety of our kind, every human with knowledge about us will be exterminated."

"No, he didn't. Carlisle would never say anything like that. He doesn't believe in killing innocent people." I looked into his mind and found that, indeed, Carlisle and the others were here, somewhere deep in the castle. "What do you want with them?"

I saw Cecilia shut her eyes.

"I want to kill them. I want to kill all of you. And you will be last, Edward, so you can watch your beloved and your family die before your eyes. Bella will be such a treat, such a wonderful appetizer to my little show. I'm—" His eyes went glossy and he swiveled back to Cecilia. "Cee, darling, let me take you to your parents. I'm sure you all will be eager to be on your way."

I frowned as I saw the smile creep across her face. Everyone in the room must have known her power and realized what she had done, because the guards, all at once, rushed towards her. She halted them in a second and sent them running to the other side of the room. Jane was next. I watched as she attempted to flatten Cecilia on her back from the excruciating pain, but, instead, stoic Jane decided to dance. Caius, too, tried to bring her down, but she turned him around and sent him skipping to his throne. I stared in astonishment.

"What are you?" I asked, prepared for her to turn her wrath on me.

She came towards me, slowly, a smile on her pale face. "I'm the manipulator. I can control anything . . . and everything. Enjoy my work?"

I didn't answer. I couldn't. She surpassed any power I'd ever come across.

"Speechless? I love it. Edward Cullen . . . at a loss for words in _my_ presence. Charming." She gave a little laugh.

"How do you know my name?" I managed.

"I know all about you and your family. Oh, and your girlfriend. I was recruited by Aro to help bring down his biggest enemy . . . you guys. You Cullens and your little wolf pack pets were growing too fast for his comfort."

"And what's in it for you?"

She paused. "He promised me that my parents would live. And as you see, I had to ultimately twist everything my way. You just can't trust vampires, can you? Bella and Jacob finally figured that one out. These humans, they have pretty thick skulls. You have to practically beat the truth into them."

"What did you do to them?!" I yelled at her, the anger boiling up inside me.

"Don't make me do to you what I did to them." She nodded at the guards and Jane, who was still twirling around the room. "Better yet, I could just kill you and your family right now. But where's the fun in that? I'll let Aro have his fun. Besides, I'm not really the killing type." Her expression turned cloudy. "Except for Jacob. Aro asked specifically if I'd stab him through the heart. So technically I am a killer."

I peered into her mind, collecting information from her whole life, both as a human and a vampire. I saw her plunge the knife into Jacob's chest, just as if I had done it myself. And then Bella's face came into view. She had taken her. Bella had trusted her; I could feel it. And now she was lying unconscious somewhere in the depths of this place. Anger surged through me. I charged her, a scream I didn't recognize as my own bubbling from my lips. I latched onto her neck, threatening to pull her apart, but suddenly my body went still, and my anger dissipated.

"That was not nice, Edward. You don't hit girls. I'll be sure to influence Aro to make your death very prolonged and painful."

"Why are you doing this?" I was oddly calm now.

"Why? Because of _you_ and _Bella_, I am a monster. Aro made me _this_ just so he could kill yall. You took my life away. There was never a choice for me . . . he was always going to change me." She looked so fragile and vulnerable for a vampire. And there was something about her that nagged at me. She was almost familiar. Where had I seen her before? Perhaps in another's mind?

"But it doesn't have to be a negative way of life. You can use your power for good, to help others. You don't have to be a monster." I held her gaze, willing her to listen to my words.

"I'll always be a monster. Even if my parents accept me as _this_, they'll eventually die, and I'll be alone. I'll have to suffer alone for eternity. No one wants me now. You just don't understand. How could you? You have Bella."

She didn't know just how much I did understand. "Cecilia, I was there. I've been in your shoes. And then I met Bella. It's hard to fathom that you have a soul mate somewhere out there, waiting for you . . . but you do. I believe it." I could feel her buckling. I just had to keep trying to reach her.

I focused on a blurry image in her mind. I couldn't identify it; it was like it was submerged in a pool of water. And then I recognized the eyes. Painful, confused eyes. Eyes that I had seen too often . . . because they mirrored my own. Jacob. I couldn't see him clearly because of the tears. It was the image just before she plunged the dagger through his chest. And she had been crying.

"No. There's no one now. He's dead." Her voice wavered ever so slightly. She was in pain.

"Cecilia, he's resilient. He'll heal. That wasn't the end for him. God knows I've tried to kill him so many times, but he just keeps bouncing back, the little bastard."

She grew quiet. "He won't take me back . . . not after _that._"

There was something I hadn't picked up on in her mind. It was like this strong pull towards Jacob. Almost physical. Like a bungee cord was attached between the two of them. She had been fighting it. But it was something that couldn't be fought. It was too strong. She was bound to it.

"He imprinted on you," I muttered incredulously.

Her eyebrows furrowed. "How do _you_ know that?"

"I can feel it. You're fighting it, but on the inside, you know it's the truth. You can't break that kind of bond, Cecilia. It's impossible."

She stood up angrily. "I don't know what you're talking about! Get out of my head!" And with that, she was gone, taking Aro with her in a cloud of turmoil.

She refused to acknowledge the truth. She was running scared. It was easier to build walls than to tear them down and bare yourself . . . all of yourself. And the thing that frightened her the most was feeling so vulnerable and exposed. But that was the essence of love . . . opening yourself to another. And I knew just how she was feeling. I'd been there with Bella.

I struggled to my feet under the weight of my realization. Bella still loved me. You couldn't just forget a love like the one we shared. It had always been there. I wasn't completely sure what had buried it deep within her, but I had a sinking feeling that it had been partly due to Cecilia's influence. That would have been a wonderful plan on Aro's part . . . tear us apart, make us emotionally volatile, and then prey on my family, creating the perfect chasm in the Cullen's bond. And then attack . . . separating us further.

I needed to find Bella, and the only way I could do that was through Cecilia's mind. I hurried after her, finding which corridors to take by probing her mind. She led me deep down into the depths of the ancient castle, where the scent of mildew and stale air was rampant.

I rounded a corner and came face to face with Carlisle, Alice, and Emmett. "What are you—" I didn't get to finish my sentence. The blow came from behind me. It struck me down to the cold, damp stone floor and sent my thoughts flying. Why was I here? What was I doing?

I felt my body being lifted and thrown against the wall to join my captive family. Carlisle rushed to my side, helping me sit up. They were so quiet. Why was no one saying anything?

I focused on their thoughts.

_I knew you would come,_ Alice thought. _I saw it. I tried to warn you about that. Guess you weren't listening though. I know it had to hurt._

I nodded and glared at her. She had no idea.

_Have you found Bella yet?_ Carlisle implored.

I shook my head. A sore subject. I thought I had followed Cecilia's mind exactly. She must've led me this way on purpose.

Emmett sighed. _So can we just kick those couple of idiots' asses already? I'm getting tired of waiting for a good fight. Now's the opportunity. It's four against three._ He grinned mischievously.

I nodded along with an excited Alice.

_I'm ready for a little action. I've already seen how it all plays out, and it's in our favor. Watch,_ she replayed the fight for me in her mind. _Too easy. Aro left three of his biggest and dumbest guards to keep watch over us. _She snickered.

And then she was on her feet. "Hey, you. With the ponytail."

The guard with the long black hair eyed her. "What do you want?" His accent was thick, and I could hear Alice mimicking him in her thoughts.

I sprang at him, catching him unaware. I felt a rush of air as Carlisle leaped forward to tackle another guard who was coming to the other's rescue. Emmett charged the largest, what sounded like a whoop of joy coming from his lips. We all wrestled, while Alice danced among us, throwing in strikes whenever she could. And with her help, the first guard was reduced to a pile of limbs and dust. Carlisle pinned his target down, ripping him to shreds with our assistance. We stood back and watched Emmett. I swore he was delaying the inevitable just for a little more fun, but finally the last guard stopped writhing. It was useless with Emmett. With a hearty laugh, Emmett tore off his head, grinning like it was his prize.

I felt a claw-like grip on my forearm and looked down. Alice stared straight ahead, her eyes witnessing another scene in her mind. She gasped in shock. I could see it too; Bella throwing herself from a window. The sharp rocks lining the Italian coastline would not be merciful. I had to reach her.

"Not again," I muttered irritably.

I pulled my arm from Alice's grasp and took off. From what I gathered in Alice's vision, Bella wasn't in the lower level of the castle. The distance from the window to the crashing waves beneath had been too far. She was in the tower.

I raced up countless flights of steps, each one pounding the terror in the pit of my stomach deeper. As I reached the door, I could already feel her immense absence. I flung it open, hearing it splinter and shatter against the stone along with my heart as I took in the sight of the empty room. She was gone.

*****

A/N: Alright, it's nearing the end, guys. I'm interested in hearing your reviews. Thanks to all of you avid readers!!


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